From Pain Comes Pleasure

It was the end of my shift (midnight), and I was making sure everything was clean and neat before I left. My head popped up in surprise as I heard him start to speak.

"Thank god you didn't leave early... I need to talk to you."

He looked like hell. I could tell he was very upset about something, and I nodded.

"Everything okay?" I asked, knowing it wasn't.

"No... Look, can we go back to your place before I start talking?"

"Of course, hun." Suddenly I smelled alcohol on his breath. "I'll drive both of us."

"I'm okay to drive... I got here, didn't I?"

I looked at him hard, and he looked down.

"That wasn't a question. I'm driving both of us. I'll make sure your car doesn't get towed or ticketed or anything. Stay here."

I went and talked to the security officer for a moment. He agreed to make sure the car didn't attract any negative interest, and I walked back to my friend. I drove us both back to my apartment in silence. We walked up, and my cat eagerly greeted us, rubbing around my legs affectionately. I picked her up and snuggled with her for a second. I took care of her- filling her food and water and emptying her litterbox. I looked at James and sighed.

"Lemme make myself a drink. There were an unusual amount of creeps at the hotel tonight. You hungry?"

He shook his head no. I decided to set some food out any way. I would eat it, if he wouldn't, and I knew without asking that he needed a drink.

"My hot chocolate okay?"

He nodded, then looked down at the table. I had never seen him this upset, and it was tearing me apart. I walked over and hugged him, forgetting the food and the drinks for a minute. He collapsed into my hug, and I could feel him shaking.

"Whatever it is, it'll be okay. We'll figure it out, hun. Lemme just get some food and the drinks out, and then we'll talk, mk?"

He nodded again, and I wondered if he trusted himself to speak. Quickly, I pulled out some milk, cocoa, sugar, peppermint schnapps, amaretto liquer, and coconut rum. I also grabbed some frozen biscuits I had and popped them in the oven to cook. In less than half an hour, I had fresh biscuits, two mugs of very alcoholic hot chocolate, and plenty of things to eat with the biscuits (cheese, honey, fruit, butter). We plopped down on the couch, and sipped our hot chocolate in silence for a while. I knew James would talk when he wanted to, so I simply waited and relaxed from my day at work. Finally, he gripped his mug tight, sighed and said roughly,

"I got dumped." I immediately put down my mug and biscuit and moved over to hug him, knowing how devastated he was. He melted into me, and began pouring out a monologue of feeling. For an hour I held him while he talked, and I listened silently, offering as much support as I could. Finally, he quieted, and I continued to sit, stroking his hair. His head was in my lap, and I didn't know what to say. I began searching for words, and he looked at me with a slightly amused grin and told me,

"Don't try and say anything. You're giving me exactly what I need right now, and you'll ruin it if you try and say anything."

"Fair enough, hun," I answered with a laugh.

We sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, while I thought angry, poisonous thoughts at the beauty who had hurt my friend so much. I thought, again, of how I wanted him, and wondered how any one who had him could be silly enough to get rid of him. He stirred again, and licked his lips nervously. I looked down, and he said,

"It's okay if you say no, but can I spend the night with you tonight?"

"Of course! You've done it before." I answered, as he had slept on my couch several times.

"No... I mean, with you. I just... I don't want to spend the night alone." He confessed in a rush. I looked at him, surprise and a bit of excitement growing in my chest. I stuttered, and he said in a rush, "No, it's okay, forget I said anything..."

"No!" I almost yelled. "I mean, yes. Yes you can spend the night with me tonight. I like someone to be in my bed sometimes, too, you know."

It was a weak joke, but it broke the tension and we laughed. Together, we cleared away the food and finished the drinks. The tension returned, though, as we moved into my bedroom.

"Do you sleep in your boxers? Or do you want to borrow something for pajamas?" I asked.

"Boxers are fine, if it won't bother you."

"Not at all. I don't have extra toothbrushes or anything, but I've got some floss and mouthwash you can use."

James nodded thankfully, and then suddenly walked over to me. He crushed me in the strong, emotional kind of hug he rarely indulged in. He whispered roughly in my ear,

"Thank you for everything. You always give me what I need... Thank you."

Then he walked briskly off into the bathroom. I sat down on my bed, shivers running all over my body from the feeling of his body pressed hard against mine and his breath on my ear. I took a deep breath, firmly quashed my sex drive, and got changed into pajamas, yelling at myself the whole time. He doesn't need sex, he needs a friend, I thought angrily. That conviction ran out of my mind when he stepped out in just his boxers. I tried not to stare. I failed and rushed into the bathroom. I continued scolding myself as I brushed my teeth and washed my face with the cold water.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out into my bedroom, and saw James with his face in his hands. Forgetting my hormones immediately, I rushed over to kneel in front of him and hug him. He wrapped his arms around me, obviously deeply upset, and pulled me into his lap. I could tell that there were conflicting emotions running through him. I embraced him as fully as I could, nuzzling my head into his shoulder as he did to me. It seemed we were both fighting our internal battles- he was trying to deal with his feelings about the break-up, and I was fighting my primal urges with everything I had.

Suddenly, he pulled away from my neck, took my chin, and pressed a kiss onto my lips. It was invasive, and rough, and hot, and absolutely perfect. He grasped the hair at the back of my head and pulled, hard. I moaned into the kiss, giving up the fight for sanity completely as lust overwhelmed me. He bit my lower lip, and I saw sparks fly behind my eyes. I repositioned myself so I was straddling him, and felt him harden as his hand left my chin and grasped my ass tightly. I moaned again, and began to grind into him needily.

He pulled us apart, and looked at me seriously. Ignoring my frustrated moan, he held me by the hair and kept me from kissing him again until I came back into myself. I blushed, and looked down, embarrassed at acting so wantonly.

"Look at me," he said gently, releasing my hair. When I only glanced up, he repeated himself a bit more commandingly. Shoving aside the rush of desire that flooded me at his tone, I looked at him. He confessed, "I don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm confused, and hurt, and I don't know what I want from who right now. You understand that, right?" At my nod, he continued.

"What I do know is that you've always been here for me. And that right now, I want you more than I've ever wanted any one, but not at the cost of our friendship. Do you still want to do this?"

I looked up at him, grinned, and nodded. He grinned back, looking happier than I'd seen him all night.

"So, what's your safe word?" He asked casually. My grin got even bigger, as I realized he planned on dominating me that night, and that there was no one who knew more about my fantasies than him.

"Red," I said. "My toys are in the top drawer."

He nodded, and lightly pushed me off of him. He rummaged around in my drawer, casually tossing the command to kneel over his shoulder. I knelt on the floor, quietly, my hungry and curious eyes wondering what he was going to use on me. He must have felt my eyes on him, because the first thing he pulled out was a blindfold. He put it on me gently, and I felt a wave of nerves run through me as darkness dominated my vision. I breathed deeply a few times, moving into the mental state that put aside my usual fears and reservations. It was easy to do this with him; while we had never played together, we had often talked about what we liked and didn't like in the world of BDSM, and I trusted him implicitly. I found myself shivering with anticipation as I heard him pulling a few items our of my drawer. After a minute or two, I heard the drawer close, and he walked around me, inspecting me. I stayed as still as I could, fighting the urge to follow the sound of his steps.

"Strip," he said suddenly. I did, ignoring my embarrassment. I stood there, naked as could be, while he walked around me again. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you," I said, relief washing through me at his approval. I gasped suddenly as his hand landed hard on my ass.

"Thank you what?"

"Thank you, sir." I mentally scolded myself for forgetting how he'd said he liked to be addressed.

"Good girl," he said absent-mindedly. "Kneel, slut." He walked over to me, and stroked the hair at the top of my head, and I leaned into his thigh affectionately. He grabbed me by my hair again, and pulled me up to a standing position. James kissed me again, and my hands automatically reached up to wrap around his neck. He spanked me again, and when I gasped in surprise, he growled,

"No touching me without permission." I groaned, frustrated, and I could feel him smirk as he leaned in to kiss me again. He was walking me in the direction of the bed as we kissed, and I felt myself getting wetter at the amount of control he had over me. He released me and I heard him sit on the bed.

"Kneel, and suck my cock," he ordered. I immediately knelt, and he guided me to his cock, which was mostly hard already. Tentatively, I reached out my tongue, and licked the tip. Having found his cock, I began licking it and sucking it gently, trying to get an idea of his size and shape, and where his most sensitive spots were before I began in earnest. Paying close attention to his reactions, I was able to pinpoint the places I should focus on: the tip and the vein on the bottom of his cock, especially in the middle. I sucked on his balls gently, eliciting a moan from deep in his throat. Encouraged, I took all of him into my mouth, beginning to suck him eagerly. After a few bobs of my head, I was able to take all of him deep into my throat, fluttering my tongue along his cock, hitting his most sensitive spots with every movement of my head. Getting into it, I began rotating my head side to side while his cock moved in and out of my mouth, and I heard his moans grow louder. I stopped and moved to pull his balls gently into my mouth, then began teasing him. I licked lightly and delicately over the entirety of his cock, sensing his growing frustration.

He grabbed my hair and began forcing his cock in my mouth, deeper than I was ready for. Sputtering and coughing, I tried to match his rhythm, allowing my throat to expand and contract with his deep, harsh thrusts. I felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks with the effort of fighting my gag reflex. I loved having my mouth and throat fucked, and

I felt myself getting more and more turned on as he forced himself in my mouth.

Suddenly, he pulled my head away from his cock, eliciting a disappointed moan from me, but I was quickly silenced with a gag. He threw me on the bed, binding me quickly in a spread-eagled position. He told me not to move and walked out of the room.

I lay there, helpless, confused, and unsure of what was to come. I was unable to see, so I could make no guesses based on what toys he'd left. I felt my fear growing- he was in an emotionally unstable state, and drunk, and there wasn't much telling what he might be doing or planning. I was worried, and horny, and upset. It made no sense. Suddenly, I remembered a conversation we'd had where James had told me he liked to leave a sub alone in a room, to wonder what was coming next. I grinned, and began to imagine what might be coming. We had discussed so many different fantasies, and I wondered which one would become real life tonight. Would it be one of my fantasies or one of his? I squirmed the very little bit that I could in my bonds, feeling myself getting wetter as I imagined where the night might go.

I heard James enter the room and my breathing increased with excitement and nerves. He stopped, and I felt his eyes on me, assessing me. I felt embarrassed, suddenly, as I was very self-conscious about my body. He sat down on the bed, and I felt his hand on my cheek, gently stroking it. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, and I felt reassured. My nerves were still singing, but I no longer felt insecure. His hand continued it's gentle exploration of my body, stroking my neck and down to my collarbone. My breathing increased and I began twitching in my bonds as he stroked the flesh of my breasts. Suddenly, he grabbed my nipples and twisted them, hard, making me gasp and try to arch my back into the sudden and erotic pain. He paused after that, and suddenly I felt the blindfold being pulled off of me. I looked at him quizzically, and he said,

"I wanted to be able to see your expressions."

I smiled in understanding, glad to be able to see him as well. I couldn't help but allow my gaze to wander, for the first time, over his fully naked body, and felt my arousal heighten as I did so. He grinned, amused at my appraisal and obvious approval. He moved his head down to my breasts, sucking my nipples, and I moaned behind my gag. He began kissing down my stomach, and I felt my muscles twitching beneath the gentle caresses of his lips and tongue. He bit me just above my hipbone suddenly, and I moaned behind my gag. As he moved to hover over my pussy, I began moaning louder and higher, trying to beg him. I looked down at him, infuriated by his pleased grin.

"You seem pretty hot for me," he said cockily. I looked frustrated daggers at him, and he grabbed something from the side of the bed and pressed it quickly down onto my pussy. A sudden shock of cold ran through me, and I gasped at the sensation. I realized he'd brought a cup of ice cubes into the room, and I moaned as I realized that my torture was far from over. He held the ice cube on my pussy until it had completely melted, then pressed one of his own very cold fingers into me. As I was desperate to be touched by that point, even the cold didn't bother me. I moaned and shuddered and clenched around his finger desperately.

He removed his finger from me, and I felt even more frustrated than I had before. He moved back up my body, sliding another ice cube along my torso. His hot mouth followed, and the contrasts were driving me insane. I was jerking in the ropes, wishing we would stop teasing. He grabbed two more ice cubes and held them directly on my nipples, the cold sending shoots of pain through me while he bit the place where my neck met my shoulder. I moaned, the pain and pleasure combined making my brain shut down. All I could do now was feel, and embrace the feelings rushing through my entire body.

James released me from the ropes, and flipped me over onto my hands and knees. He ripped off my gag and re-bound me into that position. He pulled my hair, scratched his nails down my back, and gripped my ass with bruising force. Suddenly, he began spanking me, hard, heavy slaps.

"Count," he ordered, and I did, my ass twisting and waving in the air, dancing away from his blows and then back for more. Heat ran through my body. After 50 smacks, I was sore and horny as all hell, and ready for whatever he would give me. Whatever he wanted from me, I would give him, and happily accept whatever he returned to me.

He danced his fingers lightly along my stomach and up to tweak my breasts. I moaned and leaned into his touch. His hands ran back to play with my pussy, and he smirked when I looked back at him with a pleading expression.

"My, my... You seem to be quite turned on by all this rough play. It must be because you're a horny little slut, don't you agree?"

"Yes, sir."

"Tell me what you are."

"I'm your horny little slut, sir."

I felt as though I would pass out from arousal, from his hand stroking me gently, teasing my entrance while his thumb rubbed my clit in little circles. Saying the words turned me on to no end, and he rewarded me by slipping a single finger into me and pulsing it gently in and out.

"That's right, you are my little slut. And I'm going to make sure to enjoy your horny, wet pussy. Do you like the sound of that, whore?"

"Yes, sir."

"But first," he pulled out his finger and began rocking his erect penis against my sensitive lips and clit. "You're going to have to beg."

"But, sir..." I complained. "You know I want you."

"Yes, but I want you to tell me exactly what it is you want me to do to you, slut." He rocked against me, patiently, while my arousal and frustration reached a bubbling point.

"Please, sir... You know what I want..." I hesitated, and he reached forward and began playing with my nipples. "Oh, fuck... Sir, please fuck me... Please fuck me hard and long and rough... Please!"

My last please turned into a gasp of slight pain and incredible pleasure. He had thrust into me, all the way in, without any pretense of gentility. James held himself there for a long minute as my muscles relaxed around him and the pain subsided. I moved against him, and he responded with a brutality I didn't expect, pounding in and out of me. I couldn't help but moan. He pulled my hair while he fucked me, and all I could do was feel. I felt the hard heat of him in my pussy, the pain and pleasure of him pulling my hair; I felt my limbs protesting the rope's grasp and heard his moans in my ears. I wanted this to never end, and I fought the orgasm that loomed ahead. I heard him panting that he was going to cum, and I allowed my orgasm to wash over me with painful intensity just before he pulled out, shooting his cum over my back.

He collapsed on top of me, both of us trembling with exertion. I felt my oversensitized nerves twitch as he pulled himself off of me. Gently, he released me from my bonds. He grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and wiped his cum off me gently. He rolled me into his arms, and I snuggled up against him, sore, sated, content.

My brain tried to intrude on my bliss, with questions of where this relationship was going, but I pushed those thoughts away roughly. They could be dealt with in the morning, where the question of labels and such would seem important again. For now, I was happy to fall asleep cradled in the arms of my old friend and new lover, and for the first time in months, I slept deeply and with a smile on my face.