Copyright 2007 by Otto26
*
My problem, as I see it, is that I'm the wrong sort of asshole. I don't enjoy beating women, I just annoy them. If you beat them, then you're passionate, misunderstood, even masterful. If you annoy them... you're just a jerk. I dwell on this, but you could probably care less. If you're like most Americans you're simply going to lump me into that collection of oddballs that you think of as 'the strange people'. I find it offensive to be lumped into the same group as Jehovah's Witnesses, and I'm sure they feel the same way about me, but go ahead; I'm used to it. In fact, I'm one of the guys the 'strange people' lump into the category of 'weird'.
I'm the laughing stock of my local munch. Oh, that's right; you don't know the 'strange person' argot. A munch is short for a burger munch and that is the proper, and original, term for a gathering of people in the bondage, dominance and sado-masochism lifestyle. Take a minute to add leather to your mental label for me. Go ahead, I'll wait. You're wrong though. Not everyone into BDSM, the lifestyle we call it, is a leather clad freak. A lot of us, I'll grant you, but not all of us. Not me. Which is another reason I'm considered fringe even by the fringe.
The only reason I even bother going to the local munch is because I still know how to hope. I hope that I'll encounter someone who's sexually aroused by being ordered around. Someone who doesn't smoke. Someone who doesn't have debilitating emotional issues. Someone who doesn't weigh three hundred plus pounds. Yeah, add shallow to the label. Anyone who tells you that looks don't matter is blind, lying, or about to physically expire of terminal lack-a-nookie. Looks matter. So I go to the munch and I look, and I try not to see the sniggering and muted conversations.
Munches vary in tone. It's all to do with the people involved. The Denver munch is mostly well-educated and well-employed, so the only difference between one of our gatherings and a meeting of your local Rotary club is... well, damned if I know. The tone is set by the group leaders, generally the folks who have been around the longest. So while someone might show up in a leather bustier, six inch spike heels, and obvious multiple piercings, they quickly look around to see what their peers are wearing and conform. Yep, even freaks experience peer pressure. Mostly people dress casually, blue jeans, dresses, skirts and blouses, clean sneakers, and even the occasional suit.
It's really very relaxed. People drift in and stake out some tables, they order food and drinks, they talk, they socialize, they introduce new people to old people, and they discreetly share a look at the occasional specialty catalog. Relaxed. I mostly sit by myself and drink tea. Decaffeinated tea because caffeine gives me splitting headaches. By myself because, by this point, people don't even introduce me to the new folks. I'm the weirdo. 'He's rabidly heterosexual and he doesn't like hitting women. You'd do much better with....' Fuck 'em. It hurts but so does a lot of life.
I tell you this so you can understand why I was surprised when Daria sat down across from me. Daria's not her real name. Let me re-phrase that, Daria's not the name she was given when she was born and it's not the name that appears on her driver's license. But Daria's her real name in the sense that it's the only one she'll answer to because it's the name her master gave her. Don't worry about understanding everything, just keep up with me and let the otherness sort of wash over you. Like a golden shower. Sorry, couldn't resist.
When I thought about it, I was surprised to see Daria at the munch at all. The munch was a place for people to socialize outside of the lifestyle and Ronnie and his harem weren't really capable of getting outside the lifestyle. Come to that, I couldn't recall ever seeing one of Ronnie's subs at a gathering where Ronnie wasn't. Ronald was a controlling prick. Women mistook his misogyny, control freak attitude and lack of social skills for a commanding air and they flocked to him. He had to beat them off with a stick, which he loved.
I took another sip of the tea and waited. Remember that I'm the wrong sort of asshole? Daria wanted to talk to me, but the discipline she's under prohibits her from speaking to a master or mistress unless spoken to first. I should have respected that discipline as a courtesy to her master, but I didn't. In case you haven't been paying attention, I don't much like Ronnie. And he'd been clear and vocal about his disdain for me. So fuck him. Fuck her.
I let her sit there and make eye contact with the table while I waited for her to decide which was more important, Ronnie's discipline or her need to talk to me. It was torture for her. I enjoyed it.
"May I speak, sir?" she finally asked.
"Yes," I replied. Admit it, you thought I'd say something like 'Apparently' or 'You just did'. I'm a jerk, I'm not a complete juvenile though.
"I can't find Master. I haven't seen him in over a week and he's not returning my phone calls."
I shrugged. "Ronnie's not exactly known for letting his submissives down easily," I pointed out. "I can't really help you with your love tiff."
"No one has seen him for a week," she amplified. "He was supposed to have a session with Maia on Thursday and he didn't leave the key for her, sir. I tried calling his work number and got the answering machine. Can you find him for me, sir?"
"One hundred dollars per hour, two hour minimum, plus expenses which will amount to a least another hundred dollars. I don't promise any results."
I almost put my prices up enough to put her off. Almost. Work is work and I can't really afford to be too choosy about who I work for, even if I was going to be working for a 'slave'.
"Lifestyle discount?" she asked tentatively.
See? No more 'sir'. She's the employer and I'm the employee. I managed not to laugh out loud but it showed on my face.
She colored a little, embarrassed, and pulled some money out of her purse. She counted out three hundred dollars in grubby tens and twenties and put them on the table. I counted them and put them away and then put my notebook and pen on the table in front of her.
"Ronnie's home address and a list of all the submissives he worked with," I instructed her. Normally I'd have asked about enemies, but with Ronnie we might be talking all week. Besides, this was typical Ronnie-ending-a-relationship crap. I'd find out he'd gone to Vegas for a week, or something like that, while he waited for the subs he'd chosen to dispose of to get the message.
"And give me your home info," I told her. "I'll send you the contract."