After enough bones return to my body to keep me upright, we make the short walk back to her place. I feel so lightheaded and floaty I can barely balance on the stool so she lets me eat on the couch, picking at her own food whilst watching me with a soft look in her eyes that I've not seen before.
Bath time is the same as before, and my mind is quiet as I rest my head back on her shoulder whilst she holds me close and presses gentle kisses against my neck. I'm so exhausted I don't spend half as much time as I should admiring her glorious body once it's time to get out. Only once we're in bed, my face pressed into her neck as she plays with my hair, does my brain engage enough to form a slightly coherent sentence.
"Why the bath? You have a beautiful shower that's big enough to fit our entire class plus the instructor...."
She wriggles down next to me so our faces are level, but keeps playing with my hair and brushing it away from my cheek. She almost looks vulnerable for a moment.
"You
don't
like me taking care of you? Because it seems like you do."
"No, no, I do... I just don't want you to feel like you have to? Or we could take it in turns?"
"Is this really still about getting to touch me? You touch me all the time. We're touching now."
Her tone is exasperated but her eyes are still soft. I grab her hand against my cheek, stilling her fingers and lacing them with my own.
"You know that's not what I meant. I just want to show you how much I appreciate everything that you do for me."
"But you do, beautiful. You show me with your trust, and obedience, and your big, adoring doe eyes. I'm going to side-step the gaps in your knowledge about how this works just for tonight, because I like the idea of a thank you for every orgasm I give you. How about we practise now?"
She rolls us both over so she's straddling me, strong thighs pressing me into the mattress. Daring to dream, my eager hands find her hips but I've barely slipped my fingers beneath the lace hem of her underwear before my hands are pinned above my head.
"Naughty! Did I give permission for you to touch? We need to work on those boundaries Mia. Now keep those up there."
Her hands and mouth are all over me, but so is the creeping, cold wave of rejection that I've been holding at bay. The rush of emotion consumes me, and I give a frustrated sob, and try to struggle out of her grip.
"No, stop, please."
"Your body says otherwise, little one. I didn't hear a safe word."
"Emboite, please..."
She immediately gives me space, so I roll over and bury my face in a pillow, not knowing how to verbalise the rush of emotions I feel. After a couple of minutes the gentle hand on my back is replaced by strong arms around my waist and her warm, lithe body moulding to mine. I relax into her and let the tears come, until they're spent and I'm ready to sleep.
"We need to talk about this, but not now. Rest."
Her words are whispered against the back of my neck, and I mumble my agreement as I drift off.
------------------------------------------------
When I wake, Natasha is still sound asleep beside me, still annoyingly perfect even now. I close the gap between us again, snuggling into her and burying my face in her neck again. She always smells so good that I'm starting to think it's all her, and even the most expensive perfumes would pale in comparison. I revel in her warmth, the emotion of the night before all but forgotten and my mind in the hazy, sweet spot between wakefulness and sleep.
