Four F Girl

(I received a significant amount of assistance from LittleOne14385 in this Chapter. Her brilliant addition to this piece should direct readers to her Literotica page where she has posted a number of wonderful stories. I thank her for this and perhaps future assistance.)

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After cleaning out the remaining alcohol from my apartment I cleaned the place top to bottom. I suppose this was a means of beginning the process of cleaning up my life at least symbolically. Over the next few days I thought a lot about my conversation with William and the concept of what I now know is referred to as BDSM. I spent hours reading up on the subject, everything I could find on the subject. I first read papers written by professionals who confirmed most of what William had said. There seemed to be varying degrees or types of situations ranging from simple acts of acquiescence, to extreme sexual torture. In some cases the submission was complete and would include serving not only the Dominant but also who ever the Dominant choose to give the submissive to. In all cases the submissive was subject to some form of discipline and that ranged from simple spankings and orgasm denial to full on whipping with a lash and painful restraint often involving the submissive's sexual organs.

Then I began to read amateur fictional accounts on various web sites, including this one. I started to find some of the fiction (maybe it was real) titillating and would often find one of my hands touching either one of my nipples or sliding under my panties and stroking my wet pussy. When I remembered I would note the particular story that had excited me and kept a list.

During this time I only left my apartment to eat or purchase food. I stayed away from bars and refrained from even having a glass of wine. I too easily now recalled what I had allowed myself to become when drinking. I was still at the point of believing that the drinking was the root cause of my promiscuity. Months later I would come to the realization that the drinking was only a means to deaden myself to what I was doing, not the reason I was doing it. I'll speak more about that later.

Then I tried my best to compile a list of my sexual interactions. I know that I never came close to recalling all the slutty things I'd done but the list I did recall was enough. Looking it over I once again felt depressed and saddened that I had spent ten years of my life so frivolously using my body as a sexual tool for others.

I knew I would be calling William to talk, and I wanted to be able to come clean to him. I guess I knew deep inside that he needed to know all of what I was, again I learned later that this confession was something I needed more. Also I wanted to be comfortable in a submissive situation. I knew from my research what I would tolerate or even enjoy and what I would not tolerate. I wanted to be able to negotiate the terms with William.

When I felt prepared I called.

"William this is Ali, I wanted to come and talk to you."

"Alexandra, this is a pleasant surprise. Yes, we can talk. Why don't we meet somewhere for coffee?"

I had my "talk" designed for the comfort and privacy of his home or my apartment and was a little uncomfortable considering this discussion in a public place.

"Um William? I was hoping this talk would be in private."

"Alexandra the first step in this process is to be able to admit what you are and to not be ashamed about it. If you are considering becoming submissive, to me or anyone else, you need to be proud of that. So coffee?"

This was a twist and I felt uncomfortable but what William said made sense. I had read those same words during my research.

"Ok! I'm still a little unused to this whole concept. I will try."

A little while later we were in a local coffee house. I felt better once I was there and saw that there were few who stayed to drink in the facility, most picked up their coffee to go. William ordered for both of us and led me to a table in the rear. He handed me my cup.

"So what do you wish to talk about Alexandra?"

"Well first of all, most people call me Ali."

"I know that Alexandra but I prefer your full name for now. I would be pleased if you would not refer to yourself as Ali when you are with me. So what do you want to talk about?"

Ok that was a little out of the blue. The only time anyone called me Alexandra was in formal situations, like a classroom or a job interview and I always asked to be called Ali.

"I, um, I wanted to talk about the subject we talked about that morning."

"Alexandra we spoke of a lot of things that morning, a lot of which I don't want to have to ever talk about again."

I was so messing this up. All my carefully laid plans were out the window. I was nervous in public and feared being humiliated if anyone overhead the subject. I was also afraid of how I would react if William rejected me.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you about domination and submission."

"Ok, Alexandra, what about it?"

"First I want you to know that I have not had anything to drink, not gone to a bar or seen anyone since I left you a week or so ago. I am sober and I believe thinking rationally."

"That's good to hear Alexandra."

"I've also read a lot about the subject of domination and submission and I have..."

"Alexandra I've read all that too. All you need to know is that there must be trust."

"I know that William but there are some things I read...."

"Alexandra, remember what I said. The people, who live this lifestyle, come to it through trust. What you've read are the results of that trust. Through that trust, a dominant learns what the submissive needs and the submissive learns what to do to please the dominant. It's different for everyone.

"So if I want to do this...if you want me...then going into this..."

"Yes there are no pre-conceived or pre-set lists of thing to do or be done."

"So how, I mean how do I know if this is for me?"

"If you trust me that's a start. In the beginning you would need to be trained and disciplined in some way. I can't say how because what some consider discipline the submissive might not, they might find it rewarding."

"So this all begins with trust. Do you trust me William?"

"I trust that you are capable of being the submissive. I trust you about the changes in your life. Yes, I trust this Alexandra, but I do not trust Ali."

This was so not going how I thought it might. I had my list of do's and don'ts of what I wanted and didn't. William was asking me to trust him. I was so afraid because none of this conformed to anything I read. Yet, I knew that I had easily slipped into the role of the Four F Girl and did a lot of things I was ashamed of. William had taken home a girl he knew form his past who puked on him, and had done everything to see her to a safe place. He cleaned her up, cleaned her clothes and never mentioned being angry about how I soiled his clothes that night. Why was I so unsure? I had freely given myself to strangers why did I doubt, William?

"This is so different from what I imagined William."

"Alexandra this whole lifestyle is different. I understand if you are not ready to trust me."

"No, I don't think it's that. I have made so many mistakes in my life I think it's me I don't trust."

"All the more reason to put your life in someone else's hands. If you trust that someone then you have to trust that he would learn your needs and allow you to have them fulfilled."

"So I would...what? Come to your house and...what?"

"There are choices, you can remain in your apartment and respond at my call, or you can move in and be responsive to me all the time."

"Wow, this so much to consider. Do you want me as your submissive William?"

"I would like to try and see if you can adapt to such a role with me, yes."

"Ok, if I'm doing this then I think I need to do it all out. I would want the situation where I live in your house. If I am to give up my needs and seek to serve you then I need to start it in a way that I am completely in the life. I think for me that is the only way this would work. When do we start? If this is OK?"

He stood up and made to leave.

"Prepare whatever you want to move with you. I will call you in a few days. Remember when I call you, you must obey."

Then he walked out and as I prepared to stand I realized just how wet I was between my legs. Although no one could see any visual evidence of how my panties were dripping with my sexual release, I was still somewhat embarrassed as I walked out and drove home.

As I prepared to move in with William I decided I needed to let go of as much of my old life as possible. I packed only those clothes I needed and donated the clothes I typically wore to bars. I donated my furniture and TV and in the end managed to get everything I wanted in two suitcases and one box. Then I waited to hear from William and each hour that passed without hearing from him was more tortuous then the last. When he finally called he said.

"Alexandra, be at 22 Parkway Drive, Suite 204 at 10 AM tomorrow."

He hung up before I could respond and I quickly wrote down the instructions. The next morning I piled my suitcases and the box in the trunk and set my GPS. I was at the destination by 9:45 and shocked to see it was an OBY/GYN office. I waited for William to come but as the minutes passed I elected to go in without him. He never said he be here, I assumed he would but? As I walked in the office the receptionist asked for my name and I gave it. Surprisingly she handed me a sheaf of papers to fill out and told me my Doctor would see me shortly. The papers were all about medical history, insurance carrier etc. I completed them and left them with the receptionist and waited. At 10:30 William walked in and a Nurse opened a door and called my name. Without words William took my hand and together we went back to an exam room.

The nurse took my vitals and handed me a gown instructing me to take off my clothes and put the gown on. Although I had been naked with William already, stripping here in the Doctor's office was hard and embarrassing. William notice how hesitant I was and said.

"Alexandra, you body will be mine as my submissive. You need to be proud that I would consider seeing it."

I reddened at his declaration but quickly removed my clothes and slipped on the gown. As I waited with him for the doctor I asked.

"William why am I here?"

"First of all as my submissive you should only respond to my questions. Secondly, given your past I want us both to know that you are disease free and fully functional."

"Fully functional? I understand the disease part, given who I was but functional?"

"Alexandra, I need to know that you can breed."

Breed? Not get pregnant, not have his baby. Breed? I remained silent but fumed inside with his use of that term. Then the Doctor came in and I thanked god it was a woman.

"Ah Mr. Archer and Miss St. John. I'm Doctor Andrews. Tell me what brings you in this morning?"

Before I could say anything William said.

"Miss St. John has had a very interesting life for the past ten years or so. She has asked to become my partner and well, I think we need to make sure that she is without any STDs and that her vagina and womb are healthy."

"I see. Well I'll have a blood test for the STD issue and will need to do an internal exam for the rest. Most women prefer that their partners are not in the room when this happens."

"I understand but if you ask Alexandra she will tell you that she insists I be present for the exam."

"Is that what you want Miss St. John?"

"Yes it is Doctor. I've had too many different partners in my life and I need William, Mr. Archer to feel confident."

"Very well. If you have not had one before this may be a bit uncomfortable for you. We will need to get up inside your vagina and there is some discomfort in the procedure."

I nodded and said nothing else. I don't know if I was quickly adapting to my role as a submissive and obeying Williams command to only respond to questions or if I was so totally embarrassed to be laying there legs spread as a Doctor prepared to put whatever up my vaginal canal.

As I lie back on the table waiting, my nerves continued to build steadily as Dr. Andrews assembled a series of intimidating implements on a small metal table. It had been more than a decade since I'd even been to a doctor much less a Gynecologist's office so I had no frame of reference here. I decided that I would embrace this as a means to end and hopefully that end would be a possible beginning with William as my Dominant. The doctor caught me by surprise when she seemed to have a thought and then politely excused herself from the room and stepped out. I looked to William but he only mirrored my confused expression and arched an eyebrow at me.

Dr. Andrews returned a few moments later which a young man in tow. He wore a white lab coat over his scrubs and carried a clipboard with him. His eyes were a clear green shade behind wire-rimmed glasses and the shock of his dark curly hair was a stark contrast against his skin, which was a fair shade aside from the pink blush of his cheek that only seemed to redden further when he saw me on the table. She smiled and introduced us all.

"Mr. Archer, Miss St. John, allow me to introduce Nathan. He is one of our medical students. He serves in my office here as he works toward his residency. It was my hope that you wouldn't mind if he participated in the exam as I feel this case would be a good learning experience for him."

He first took William's extended hand then stumbled around my elevated feet to shake mine awkwardly

I felt sick to my stomach as I registered her request. It was nerve wracking enough to even be here with William and female doctor not knowing exactly how those instruments were to be used. Then to have this man-child in the room with us watching was putting me very close to being humiliated. Every part of me wanted to object and ask her to dismiss him but as I opened my mouth to speak, I heard William's voice speak for me.

"I think that would be fine Dr. Andrews, we are all for opportunities to learn, aren't we Alexandria?"

I clamped my mouth shut and quietly nodded, at least taking comfort in the fact that he would stay in the room with me. With our approval obtained she clapped her hands together and smiled.

"Okay great, let's begin."

She took her seat on a rolling stool and faced Nathan, "Now Nathan, if you would take a look at her chart and tell the first things that you observe."

Nathan took my chart from her and looked it over studiously before answering in a matter of fact tone. "Middle twenties female, numerous sexual partners reported as well as no regular healthcare, gynecological or otherwise. My initial assessment is that the following would be necessary at this time: pelvic exam, Well Woman exam, Pap smear and vaginal ultrasound to ensure the health of the cervix, uterus and ovaries."

"Good!"

Doctor Andrews prompted making her way to her place between my feet.

"Now Alexandria, please scoot your bottom to the edge of the table for me then relax your knees and just let them fall open. That's right, exactly like that...what else Nathan?"

"Oh!"

He piped up seeming to remember.

"And blood well as cultures to confirm the absence of any sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV."

At the mention of the possibilities that I could be carrying some kind of sexually transmitted disease, at the very worst the AIDS virus, made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew that this would a deal breaker for William. Not to mention the fact the Nathan seemed so cavalier in his statement, his castigating tone telling me that he wouldn't be surprised if there were something to find.

She was pleased with his assessments and placed a gloved hand over my abdomen then pressed two fingers inside of me, reaching further until I could feel her fingers on the inside pushing against her palm on the outside. She tilted her head to the side as if listening for something that no one could hear as she felt her way around inside me. The sensation wasn't entirely unpleasant so I tried to go numb but the task was nearly impossible sober. I just laid still and stared at the ceiling, which seemed to contain odd little drawings taped over the lights. I started to ask what their purpose was for until my current predicament dawned on me and I stifled a giggle. William eyed me curious, and I quickly regained composure and mouthed. "It's nothing." His gaze narrowed slightly but then he dismissed it when he looked up and noticed the drawings as well.

Once Dr. Andrews was satisfied that all the necessary parts were present she extracted her hand and reached for a heavy metal device that resembled an elongated duck's bill and quickly inserted it into my vagina in the place of her hand, I flinched as she expanded the devices arms in turn forcing my cervix open. The pressure alone was enough to make me gasp, let alone how open my pussy was to the three others in the room.

"Now Miss St. John, I'm going to use a small set of scissors to take a tissue sample as well as some scrapings from your uterine wall for testing. This process normally doesn't hurt much but you may feel some pinching."

Without any response from me she continued her work. I was relieved when she extracted the metal device only to gasp as she pulled a portable ultrasound machine up next to the table and lifted a large wand from the stand. It was long and of medium girth with a metal censor on the end. I seemed to remember seeing ultrasounds in movies, grateful to be familiar with something and I began to lift my gown and expose my stomach.

She stopped me with another semi polite smile.

"No Miss St. John, this ultrasound will be internal."

Even with all of my experience something that long fitting all of the way inside of me stirred up fresh butterflies in my stomach. Dr. Andrews squirted some clear gel onto the tip of the wand then pulled what looked like a large condom from the stand and stretched it over the head then down the shaft of the device.

"In fact, Nathan why don't you come perform the ultrasound, this is some good hands on practice for you. You don't mind do you Miss St. John?"

"No we don't mind at all."

William spoke again from his almost silent place in the corner and I sat up staring at him wide-eyed. He only gave me a reassuring nod and I lay back once more. Nathan stepped forward wide eyed and took the wand from Dr. Anderson. After she rose and stepped back he took a seat on her stool and moved toward me. Without warning he was pushing it inside me without any measure of patience or finesse and it hurt, a lot. I gasped and gave a small cry. Nathan didn't seem to notice but continued with the exam, moving the wand to first one side then the other in staccato movements. As he located my ovaries on each side he pushed a little too firmly and I almost felt as if he were trying to pierce my side with it. When he had taken at least a dozen measurements using the various buttons on the ultrasound machine he swiftly removed the wand and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Nathan, in the future try to remember you are examining a woman's vaginal opening not trying to punch a hole in a wall. Be gentle, be caring."

Nathan reddened at the admonition from Doctor Andrews then preventing me from sitting up Nathan moved alongside the table, reached for my left arm, and moved it above my head. As he reached for my left breast I lay poised and ready to punch him if the need should arise. William saw this as well and asked.

"What are you doing now, Nathan?"

"Um, that would be a breast exam Mr. Archer. It's a portion of the Well Woman exam."

And with that I relaxed and allowed him to work his cool palm over first one breast then the other, squeezing gently and probing with his fingers around my nipple. Once this was complete he took my hand again and helped me to sit up. He took a couple of long wooden dowels with cotton on the tips from a glass container on the counter and stepped forward.