I enter the kitchen.
You stand there, blocking the light from the window, that very light casting an angelic glow about You. You turn and look right through me,.... still quiet I see.
I walk up behind You and lightly brush my hand over Your neck, noticing the bumps raise on Your skin. I like so much to do that to You. To watch You shiver. To give You that cheap, seductive thrill. Standing close to You now, my hot breath at Your neck, Your head scrunches from side to side, but still no acknowledgment . God how I hate when You don't speak to me! Days of silence. Punishment so utterly cruel. Keeping from me the sound of Your deep, protective voice. Oh, how it maddens me, drives me totally insane . I stride off, ignored and hurt. I yearn for at least a look , some small bit of recognition. Even better yet a kiss....
I drift through the house and all around me are the pictures of the "good times ", hanging straight, on white walls.. These "things" just pleasant memories on this new path that I am embarking. Stopping in O/our room and thinking even more of that kiss .
From that very first kiss You had control of me, I do not know if You knew that, it was something I never told You. There was something about You that made me feel safe and protected. There was something that "made me" want to please You... You always knew what I needed..... Remembering the ecstasy, to have Your hand wrapped tight in my long, auburn hair, pulling my head back, and arching my neck. Your wet lips forcefully put to mine, Your tongue danced with mine. And from me, small sounds escaped as Your lips left and slowly went to my neck, biting me, ever so lovingly hard...a low moan,
" Master"....
I hear You pick up the keys, You are ready to leave. I hurriedly meet You at the door. You look so damn handsome today. Your broad shoulders wearing my favorite black suit and the leather tie I found for You that first Christmas. Your dark hair, brushed back and not yet dried from Your shower, the longer hairs dangling over your smoldering eyes.
I smile even though You don't see. Mmmm.... Beside You in the car, the scent of Shalimar, the scent of me. Yet still , I do not get even a small glance.
" I am here", I whisper softly.
.....Nothing........ . Stopping at the mall , You quickly leave the car. I miss You opening the door for me and so I sit sulking in the warm car .
Coming back, You have with the most beautiful, red roses, my favorites.
A scintillating thought comes to mind of awakening alone, discovering upon soft pillows of white, a crimson bouquet, which had draped across them the leathers that bound my wrists the night before.