He opened his eyes and squinted against the sunlight pouring through his bedroom window. His hands went to his neck, rubbing where the collar had been the night before. He still felt somewhat dazed and also slightly depressed. In the light of day in his own bed in his own room he couldn't understand how he had allowed her to do what she had done. But even now through his embarrassment and shame he missed the feel of her hands running over his body.
Good boy. Her praise repeated in his head no matter how hard he tried to drive it out. It had haunted him all night, the memory of the words running like silk off her tongue making his blood pulse. He shook his head roughly, trying to jar loose the memories and force them out. But it was a waste of energy. She wouldn't be so easily ignored.
He rolled out of bed and grabbed his jeans off the floor, cursing when he had to maneuver himself into them before zipping them up. Being hard in the morning wasn't unusual for him, but today it was difficult to convince himself it was a naturally occurring phenomenon.
His fingers fumbled over the buttons on his shirt as he made his way to the front door. He pulled on his boots, not bothering to take the time to pull his pants down over the tops of them. The sun was blinding while he crunched through the gravel to his truck. His phone was on the dashboard where he had left it, the screen covered with messages from his friends and his uncle, but none from her.
Where was he? Why wasn't he at work? Why hadn't he gone to the bar last night? Where had he been? He turned the screen off and grabbed his hat off the dashboard, shoving it down on his head.
How could he allow her to do what she had done? Men like him didn't allow themselves to be violated in that way. They didn't allow themselves to be tied up or tied down. He wandered down the driveway to the barn and grabbed his rope off the floor. He quickly shook out a loop, then took two swings and threw at the plastic steer head attached to the hay bale in front of him.
He allowed it to happen because he had been chained to the floor. He didn't have a choice what she did to him. That was the only explanation. He grabbed the rope, jerking it free from the horns, then backed up and swung again.
He could have said her name. It would have ended the minute the word came out of his mouth. She would have untied him and he could've gone home while his masculinity was still intact. His loop sailed over the horns, landing on the ground next to the bale. He coiled it then smashed down on the hando before building another loop.
Why didn't he? Why didn't he say her name? He swung a few times, making sure the slack easily slid through the hando before throwing again. The pale skin on her thighs peeking out between the hem of her dress and the tops of her boots flashed through his head.
"Stop it." The words were stern when they flew from his mouth, but they did nothing to halt the tension building in his jeans. He could still see the dimples on her back and feel her eyes watching him. She always looked so interested, so enthralled with every movement he made. It was unnervingly intoxicating.
He grabbed at his crotch, trying to adjust himself to a more comfortable position. Then he paused, knowing she would tell him "No." After a minute he moved his hand back down and pulled at his jeans defiantly. She didn't own him. She couldn't control him.
The rope swung out again, hooking the right horn then whipping back over the left. He pulled the slack tight until it wouldn't tighten any farther. He needed to forget her. Forget what she had done.
He swung the rope as hard as he could, listening to it whistle as it cut through the air around him. Why did the pain feel so good? It was like a punishment he deserved that was long overdue. Each impact to his skin shot tremors through his nerve endings, intensifying every touch.
His arm was starting to ache, tiring out from swinging too hard. She wanted to train him. Train him to do what? What else was she capable of doing to him? Would she tie him down again? Force him to accept whatever she chose to do to his body?
He threw his rope on the ground and sat down on the bale of hay, rubbing his hands over his face. It didn't matter what she wanted to do to him. And it didn't matter that the brain between his legs wanted to defy the one between his ears. He wasn't going back to her house.
******************************************
It was dark when he pulled up and parked under the flashing neon sign at Tiny's. This was his bar, not hers. He had been going here several times a week since he turned twenty-one. She had been the trespasser, not him. And now he would reclaim his territory, even if she decided to show up. And he would find another girl to bring home. One who would appreciate his methods of pleasing.
He walked in and was surprised at how many people were stuffed inside. His eyes wandered over the possible rebounds as he made his way to where Conner sat sipping a clear liquid at the counter.
"Oh good, you're alive," Conner said, eyeing him.
"Ya. I was sick," he replied, avoiding eye contact.
"What do you think?" Conner motioned with his glass towards the bartender. She had short blonde hair, a low cut top and a big smile.
"She's cute." She was exactly what he needed. He smiled when she caught him staring, then sat up straighter in his seat when she headed his way.
"What'll it be," she asked, leaning over the bar. Her full breasts pushed up tauntingly over her shirt.
He ran his eyes over what she presented to him. "Jack 'n Coke."
"Comin' right up." She turned around to grab a glass off the wall, then pulled a bottle of Black Label Jack Daniel's off the shelf.
The sound of boots hitting the floor caught his attention and he turned, expecting to see Morgan coming up behind him. An older woman with cowboy boots on walked by and his heart resumed beating. He turned back around in time for the bartender to place his drink in front of him.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Andrea."
"Well, Andrea, I'm thankful to see Joe finally decided to hire an attractive bartender." He took a sip of his drink, watching her cheeks redden around her smile.
