Finding Our Way

I knew you were waiting for me. Taking a few extra moments to calm myself may not have been the wisest of choices under these circumstances, but I refused to go out there looking like a scared little girl. Being submissive didn't make me weak. It gave me strength.

I needed more strength.

I pushed aside the last thoughts of poor body image. You wanted me dressed like this because you desired me. Not another, thinner, younger, prettier woman. Me. This body. This woman. I took a breath and straightened my spine, feeling the warm aftermath of the sensual spanking wash over me. I wished for the weight of the Ben-wa balls to be inside me still, but you had insisted I remove them. I hoped to be able to have another spanking like you just gave me. I could handle feeling that good again. I needed to feel that good again. One last deep breath and I sauntered out of our bedroom to the kitchen—wearing only my stockings and heels, as requested.

You stood at the kitchen counter, a glass of wine in one hand, and apron in the other. Your dominance radiated off of you, hitting me in a wave. You were so calm. So collected. So damn sexy. If only you knew what it did to me when you looked at me like that. Oh, but of course, you did know. I have no secrets from you. You knew exactly what you did to me, and how much more I wanted. You knew all my hidden desires and all of my secrets. I was yours.

"I see you decided to join me." Up quirked that brow, quietly teasing me.

"Yes, Sir." I tried not to make eye contact. I still wasn't sure of all the rules and requirements.

"Here, you will need this." You set the glass of wine on the counter, and slipped the apron over my head, settled it gently over my breasts before you reached around me to tie the strings in the back. You ran your hands over my bare backside and nuzzled my neck. "Mm. I've been dreaming about this for quite some time. It pleases me to have you so willing now."

The warmth of you against me was comforting and exhilarating. I wanted to snuggle against you and sleep. I wanted you to bend me over the counter top and take me. Hard.

"This, my girl, is how you will serve dinner when we are alone from now on. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir."

"What is my expectation then?"

"Sir, I am to serve dinner in stockings and heels with an apron on, only."

You stepped away from me to admire the way the apron exposed the curves of my breasts, and left my ass completely bare. "Yes, my girl, this will do," you said while you ran a hand down my back to squeeze one round cheek. You left my side to take a seat at the table. I had set it earlier to your specifications—our best dinnerware sat atop a new, freshly ironed table cloth. Long, tapered candles waited to be lit.

"Dinner smells wonderful, my girl. You may serve it now."

"Yes Sir. Thank you Sir." I only worried briefly about spilling something hot on myself. I pushed that thought away and just let myself enjoy your gaze on me—loving that you watched every step. The arousal in your eyes was enough to make me wet. I could hardly contain the anticipation of having your hands on me again...or your mouth...

I brought the pork tenderloin to the table, and set it beside the salad and roasted red skinned potatoes that you had requested for this meal. Your hands rose and gently ran across the sides of my breast to send a tingle of desire through me. You laid your wide, warm hand over my own, making me think of that hand on my ass not fifteen minutes before. Another wave of desire slid through me, causing my knees to buckle momentarily.

"No. I will serve from here. You have done very well so far. Remove your apron and have a seat, my girl."

"Yes Sir. Thank you Sir." I removed the apron and hung it neatly on a hook by the door. I sat in the chair across from you, my nipples hardened under your gaze.

"Pinch those for me, my girl."

"I...I'm sorry, Sir," I stammered.

"Your nipples- They are begging to be pinched and pulled. I am busy serving this amazing meal that you have prepared, so you will have to do it for me."

"Yes Sir." I brought my fingers to my breasts, pulling and tugging on my elongated nipples.

"Mm, slow down a bit. I want you to enjoy what you are doing." You set my plate before me and began to serve yourself. "I am glad you listened to me and had your nails done. That color makes a lovely contrast against your breasts. Your hands are going to look beautiful wrapped around my cock."

I blinked twice, surprised by the vulgar words casually used at the dinner table, before remembering myself. "Yes Sir. Thank you, Sir."

You sat back in your chair, watching me continue to play with my nipples. "I could watch you do that for hours, my girl. Then I could suck on them for a few hours more. But, by then this wonderful meal would be ruined. I would hate for that to happen after everything you have done. You may eat now."

"Thank you, Sir." I dropped my hands from my breasts, and picked up my fork and knife to cut into my meal. I took one tentative bite, then sighed in relief. It was still tender and juicy. Still perfect. I wanted so desperately for everything to go exactly right this evening.

"I am sure you have a lot of questions, my girl, about what will be expected of you. For tonight, we will address things as they come up. For example, our meals: When we are alone, you will prepare and serve our meals as you just did, but I will prepare your plat. If I serve you too much, you must say so right away, because you will be expected to eat all you are given. Your health is of utmost importance to me. Failure to take care of your self will result in corrective actions. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir, I understand."

You rose and went to the kitchen counter to retrieve the glass of wine from the kitchen counter, and set it before me. "Alcohol will only be consumed in moderation, preferably with a meal. You will not have more than two glasses of wine in any evening, and only one glass of wine if we are going to our bedroom for a session. I will consume no more than one drink in the evenings, if that. I will not have any alcohol if I have anything...particularly enjoyable planned. You will notice tonight that I am not having a drink. Your safety is of great importance to me as well. I will not put you at risk."

"Yes Sir. Thank you, Sir." I took a sip of wine, letting the smooth liquid slide down my throat to soothe my nerves.

"There will be more to go over, my girl, but not tonight. I'm afraid there is something we need to get out of the way." You looked at me directly, your face stern and impassive. "I am going to have to spank you."

I squirmed in my seat in anticipation. That last spanking in our bedroom had been so erotic. I couldn't wait for another. "Thank you, Sir," I said, my smile practically beaming off of my face.

You shook your head, "No my girl. This one won't be like the last one, I'm afraid. This will be a punishment."

A ball of fear lodged itself in my belly, making it hard to breathe. "A punishment, but why, Sir? What did I do?"

"First, you do not question me, only obey. Do you understand me?"

"Yes Sir, I do."

"Good girl." You took my hand between your own, holding it tenderly. "You have been trying, so very hard to be perfect tonight. Part of that is to please me, I know. I love that, and appreciate your efforts. But I also see that a part of you fears what will happen if you fail at a task. I want you to see it is nothing to be feared. Think of more as corrective training, than as a punishment. It will be dreaded, yes, as this will hurt. But you should not fear these moments of correction between us. Do you understand?"

My head bowed, and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. "Yes Sir. I understand."

"Good girl. This will also serve as atonement for all the time before now that you have been neglecting me. It will wipe our slate clean, for this is our new beginning. Do you agree?"

I raised my eyes to meet yours, and saw only your love for me, and your hope for our future together. I drew strength from what I saw. "Yes Sir, I agree."

"Good girl. Go now to our room. Undress, well remove the few garments you have on." That was said with the smirk I so love. "And set the items neatly to the side. You will kneel and wait for me. I will be in as soon as I finish in the kitchen. Tonight, I will do these chores so that you may have time to reflect."

"Yes Sir. Thank you, Sir."

I went to our room, doing as you asked, then knelt on the floor to wait. I did not sit back on my heels to rest, but kept myself straight, my hands resting naturally to my sides. And I waited.

It seemed like a very long time before you came to our room, shutting the door softly behind yourself. "Yes," you said, soothing my nerves with your voice. "Excellent, just as I had envisioned you." You circled around me, examining me from all angles. "Alright, my darling, you will soon see that the waiting is the worst part. Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes Sir."

"Ah," you admonished. "What do you call me in this room? What am I during corrective activity?"

"Master. I am sorry Master."

"Yes, that I am. I do regret to tell you that I will have to add additional spankings for that transgression. It is not the first time I have had to remind you tonight. You will now receive a total of 15. Does that sound fair to you?"

"Yes Master. Thank you Master."

"Very well. Rise and lay yourself over the bed."

"Yes Master."

As I settled myself over the bed, on my stomach, feet set firmly on the floor, you continued to tell me what to expect. "You will count each strike, 'One Master. Two Master'...and so on. Do you understand?"

"Yes Master."

"Good Girl. I will only use my hand during corrective actions, but do not worry. It will be plenty painful, and you will not forget your transgression any time soon. Do you understand?"

"Yes Master."

"Good girl. Now, we will begin."

I was not expecting the first strike to be so quick and forceful. Nothing I had received that night could even compare. I lost my breath for a second and could not move.

"Now, darling, that will not do. Remember, you must count each one out. We will begin again."

"Yes Master."

I was slightly more prepared for the next spank to my ass. The lack of surprise did not make it less painful. "One, Master."

"Good girl." The next was just as hard, in a slightly different area.

"Two, Master." By the time we reached the fifth spank, I was out of breath and beginning to sweat. The blows had restarted their original pattern, and the sting became even sharper.

"Seven, Master." Tears started to flow down my face, and I simply let them. There was nothing I could do to stop them, or to stop this punishment. I had willingly given myself to my Master. I would see this through.

"Ten, Master." My knees were becoming weak, and I wanted to buckle under the pain. I was thankful I was lying on the bed. There was no way I would have been able to hold myself up for this onslaught.

"Fourteen, Master." Soft mewling noises had been coming from my mouth for the past few spanks. I didn't see how I could withstand one more blow.

"You are doing very well, darling, one more to go. Relax yourself now. Let the sensation be absorbed into your skin. Do not fear this." The last spank came down hard and swift right at the apex of my thighs. I stifled a groan, and managed to say, "Fifteen, Master. Thank you Master." Before I dissolved into tears.

"Shh, now, shh. Wait right here. Do not move."

I couldn't speak through my sobs, so I only nodded my agreement.

Soon, you returned, and I felt a thick cool cream being spread on my fiery backside. You smoothed the lotion over me, talking softly about I don't know what. After completing those tender administrations, you gently turned me over, and gathered me to your chest.

"You were wonderful, my girl. There will be many of these moments of correction between us. They are not to be feared. They will help cement the bond between us. That is the worst you can expect from me. Don't you feel better now?"

Your hands were gentle in my hair. I felt oddly relaxed and at peace. "Yes Master. Thank you Master."

"Good girl. You may go back to calling me 'Sir.' Let's rest as few moments before we move on."

"Move on, Sir?" I was so tired, so drained. I wasn't sure how much more I could handle in one evening.

"Here, my girl. Drink this water. And yes, we must move on. Your training begins now."

"Yes Sir," my head wheeled. "Training, Sir?"

"Yes, training. It's nothing to worry over. You just need to relax and do as you are told."

"Yes Sir."

You hugged me close for a moment, snuggling me against you. "Good girl. First you must learn how I want my blow jobs."