Finding Mr. Wright

"The fact that it's black transforms it. Has the same effect on women that black stockings have on men."

-- Daphne Du Maurier

CHAPTER 14

Over the next few days, I returned to normal, well, somewhat normal. Though my mind drifted off to Aaron and the sorrow and hurt returned, it wasn't as debilitating. I spoke with Brooke often and we met up a couple of times for lunch. It felt great to know that she was checking up on me.

After a few days, I called and spoke with Ms. Oeaux. She was both shocked and mad at Aaron for treating me the way he did, and though it was great to hear her say it, I was still getting over everything myself so I didn't want any retaliation against Aaron or anything like that. She and I talked for a while about relationships and the dom/sub dynamic, and in the end, she was sad for me but told me things often work out the way they do for a reason. Though that was no consolation, it felt nice to have someone like her to talk to.

What she was really disappointed with was my decision to leave the Society. She tried to talk me out of it, giving me all types of options, like to appear and not participate again until I was sure of myself and ready. In the end, though, my mind was set. I promised her that if she was ever in town, or if I ever made it to her part of Europe, we would get together and I would return the favor that she had given me the night we spent together. She said she'd like nothing more, then joked about making immediate plans. It was great to talk to her like that and it really lifted my spirits.

My friend Brittany also sensed a change in me, so I had to tell her something. She came over, we talked, and I lied. Well, I didn't really lie, it was more of a partial truth. I left out everything about the Society and how Aaron and I met and what we did. Instead, I kept it general, telling her that after John and I separated, I met someone and that it was going great, or so I thought, but then unexpectedly and without telling me why, he dumped me. She told me how sorry she was and that she was there for me, but even as long as I'd known Brittany, even though there were so many secrets we knew about each other and never shared with anyone else, I didn't know if she would understand the Society or the whole BDSM world. I kept that part very quiet and to myself. I could tell she knew I wasn't revealing everything to her, but she didn't press me on what I might have left out.

As the days rolled on, I tried to forget about Aaron, but I couldn't. The more I thought about it, the more I needed to know why Aaron had rejected me. I knew it would be almost impossible now since I had decided to leave the Society, but it didn't stop me from wondering about it. I never tried calling or texting Aaron, knowing that he changed his number. However, I just couldn't bring myself to delete his information from my phone.

The days dragged on and after a week or so, life returned to its very normal yet boring pace. Work was still proceeding and growing so I poured myself into my work at the office. I took on any and every case I could to help keep my mind off of my dismal private life. I worked long hours, but even still, at the end of each day, I would go home to an empty house and all the misery that it represented.

One bright light amidst all of this was the case that I was working for Ossie. Ossie owns a cement company and had contracted for a job for a local business. Ossie did a large amount of work for them and even when they changed the job multiple times, he didn't charge them anything extra. Even still, they complained at every turn and, when it was finally complete, they claimed he didn't do what they wanted, and refused to pay for the remainder of the job, shorting him over fifty thousand dollars.

This was the type of case that I would have taken for free, as I hate to see unscrupulous jerks take advantage of nice, hard-working people. The good news is that it didn't take me long to make the other side realize just how wrong they were. Working closely with Ossie, we got them to pay everything they owed him plus interest and attorneys' fees, otherwise, they were facing having to pay close to twice that amount based on the changes they made to the contract and never paid for.

In fact, the check to settle and close the case arrived this morning via courier, so Ossie was coming by this afternoon so we could finalize all the settlement documents and get him the funds. He was beaming from ear to ear, telling me that he was excited that this resolved so quickly and that I was able to get everything from the 'crooks who tried to screw him over.' He was so ecstatic that he wanted to take me to dinner to thank me. I told him it was usually the other way around, that the attorney took the client to dinner, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Well, I guess it was better than going home to an empty house, so I agreed.

I went directly from work to meet Ossie at a local seafood restaurant. It wasn't a fancy, elaborate place like where I had gone with Aaron or Ms. Oeaux. It had a nice, more relaxed, less 'stuck up' feel to it, and that suited me just fine. The formal events of the Society and everyone else were starting to wear a bit thin. Don't get me wrong, I liked that from time to time, but it was nice to have a more normal dinner for a change. I still had on the pants suit that I wore to work, nothing exotic, just a solid dark blue pair of fitted pants, jacket, and cream-colored button-down blouse.

Ossie was already there when I arrived. When he greeted me, he kissed me on the cheek and thanked me again and again for helping him with his case. He said that dinner was the least he could do. Being a lawyer isn't usually a fun job because the vast majority of the time, no one gets everything they expect or deserve. However, when it does happen, like it did here for Ossie, it can really be worthwhile. It was nice to see how appreciative he was.

As we ordered, our topic went from Ossie and his case and his company, to the Society. Ossie just called it the 'group' so if anyone overheard, they would have no idea what we were talking about. He started with what he had heard about me and Aaron.

"So you and Aaron aren't a thing anymore?" he asked.

"No," I said, "no relationship there at all. Not even friends."

"That's a shame," he said, "everyone really likes him... and you too. You guys made a great couple. What happened?"

"I'm not sure really. Everything was going fine, even great between us. I had even spent time with him outside the 'group'. I met his son, we went places together, almost like a family. He would leave for work for a week or two at a time, and be out of contact, but when he was in cellphone range, he would call or text. Things were pretty incredible, actually."

"So why did you guys break up?" Ossie asked.

"I'm at a loss. He just changed. He was so happy and caring, even when we met at the 'group' home. Then, he wasn't. At first I thought it might have been my encounter with Ms. Oeaux, but he and I even talked about it afterward and he was fine. That's what made the breakup so difficult. I mean, what he did and how he did it. It was so abrupt and rude and totally emotionless on his part. I still don't understand it. What hurts more than anything is that he never told me why. In fact, he refused to even tell me why."

I laid it all out to Ossie. Talking about it like this brought back the feelings and emotions of that evening, and I had to fight back tears. However, it also helped to just talk about it, to let someone else know and try to get some understanding of it all. Ossie broke me from my reverie when he responded.

"Wow," Ossie said, more than a bit in shock. "I'm surprised Aaron did that. I mean, you never know someone's background or motives, but I would have thought better of him."

"Me too. I guess you never really know someone as well as you think. But, it's over now. It hurts, but I'm getting over it."

"Wait, go back to something you said," Ossie said with a questioning look on his face. "You said he would leave for weeks and not be able to call, not even on cellphone?"

"Yes, that's right. He said he was in an area with no service so he would be out of contact for that time."

"So think about that," Ossie said, letting it hang there for a moment. "Where in the world could he be where he had no cellphone contact? Do you think his business really took him to the forests of the Amazon or the jungles of Africa? No, if he even did have to go there regularly, he would have had a satellite phone. Some are even cheaper than an iPhone."

"So what do you think?" I asked him.

"Is there another woman in his life?"

"Yes, there is. I think you have heard that he has a fiancé."

"Right, I had heard that," he said, thinking to himself. "Did he ever talk about her?"

"No, other than mentioning her during my introduction to the group, he never said a word. Also, I thought it odd that his son never mentioned anything about her either." This really had my own mind going, trying to figure things out further. That's when I stumbled on something that I had taken for granted.

"That's it," I told Ossie, in a very matter of fact manner. "When he told me he had a fiancé, and even after we were together, I accepted it. However, I assumed she was living with him, or at least living close by. She must be in another country, or even overseas. He said he was out of cellphone range because he didn't want me to interrupt his time with her!"

"I think you might be right, Elizabeth," Ossie agreed.

"That explains so much," I said, just shaking my head, feeling like a fool for not realizing it myself. "Something must have happened between them. She might have sensed we were getting too close, or taking his mind off of her, so she made him break it off. She felt threatened. You know, his last words to me were, 'I can't be your Dom'. Not 'I don't want to be' or anything else like that, just that he 'can't.' Oh my I can't believe I didn't see it before!"

Ossie and I sat there for a bit, thinking over what we had just figured out. It made so much sense! This fiancé was his reason for being away, for not having phone contact, and for his abrupt change! Discovering this truth made me feel better, as I now had a reason why Aaron acted like he did. I didn't agree with it, and I might have understood if he had come right out and told me, but at the least I had figured out the reason it all happened. It was still a sober and sombering discovery.

Ossie broke the silence, changing the subject, "So what's next for you, then? In the 'group', I mean," he asked.

What I had just discovered about Aaron, with Ossie's help, also helped me cement my own ideas about the Society, so I told him. "To be honest, Ossie, I'm not going back. I opened myself up to a wild new adventure that I thought would be eye opening and fun. What happened with Aaron turned out to be too painful, even if it is my own fault. It is just too fresh in my mind, even with what we just figured out. Letting go and forgetting all about it seems to be the easiest thing to do."

He nodded, but I could tell he did not agree. "Ms. Brandt, you are right. That might be the easiest thing to do, just forget all about it. But do you think that is the best thing to do? Do you think you can just leave all of this behind, never achieving what you desire?"

I looked away from Ossie, many different thoughts going through my head. Everything piled in, from how great it was to be with someone like Aaron (at least at first), how much I enjoyed exploring the wilder aspects of the Society, how I had yet to experience what I saw Brooke endure. I also thought about how it all affected me, to the hurt and rejection I felt from Aaron, and now, how people in the Society would look at me, wondering what happened. I hate being the center of rumors and gossip like that.

I shared that with Ossie, telling him, "There's a lot to this, but even if I could look past Aaron himself, what would everyone think or say? I don't want to be the brunt of everyone's jokes or gossip."

Ossie spoke up very quickly. "Ms. Brandt, that's one thing you don't have to worry about, and what makes this group very, very unique. We don't judge. What happens between people is between those people alone and is not our business. I mean, if you think about it," he lowered his voice a bit, almost to a whisper, "we all have some pretty odd, um, let's call it 'appetites.' Who are we to judge anyone else?"

"That's very true," I said, agreeing with him. "And please, call me Elizabeth. At the office, I get enough 'Ms. Brandt' to last a lifetime."

"Elizabeth, it is then," he said, nodding to me. He continued, "Elizabeth, so tell me what you thought of the 'group' and everyone else you met. If you want to, that is." So I did. I didn't go into any great detail, certainly not of the personal things, but I told him what doms I met, who I admired, the interesting things I saw, and so on. I was careful what words I used, lest someone overhear. It was awkward to try to explain things by using euphemisms, and I wasn't sure he was getting it all, maybe not in the way that I intended. I told him it was awkward to talk about this way.

"I tell you what," he said. "How about we go someplace else where we can talk more privately. I live not far from here if you want to come back to my place. I can fix us some drinks and we can talk without having to whisper."

"I'd like that," I told him. "A guy's view can help."

We had just about finished dinner anyway so when the waiter brought the bill, I reached over and stole it from Ossie. He started to object but I told him it was on the firm, I mean, he was a client after all. Or at least, he was until earlier today when we finished his case.

I followed Ossie to his place. He lived in a really nice, upscale loft apartment on the outskirts of the warehouse district. Following him inside, I was taken aback at how nicely it was decorated. It didn't look like a single guy's apartment at all. I complimented him on his décor, and he told me that he really loved the result, but couldn't take the credit. He paid a decorator to make it nice 'to impress the ladies' he said, and we both laughed.

"Well, I'm suitably impressed," I added, with a bit of over exaggerated flair.

"Have a seat and I'll fix us something to drink. Any requests?" he asked.

"What are you having?" I asked him.

"Let's see..." he said, letting in hang in the air while he thought. "How about a blueberry martini?"

"Sounds perfect." I sat on the couch and looked around his place. Being a loft style apartment, it was pretty open all over. The highlights were the weathered wood that covered the walls and ceilings. If you just looked at the wood itself, you would think you were in an old shack deep in the woods. However, the accents were both classic and modern, with copper and iron and steel here and there, old rustic farm tools, and such, to formal modern paintings encased in copper and steel frames. You could really tell it was done by a professional, and yes, I really was impressed.

Ossie returned with the drinks and sat next to me on the couch. Not close like we were on a date or anything, more like friends there to talk. I took a sip of my drink and it was really good, with a sweetness and tartness to it that perfectly complemented each other, and not overwhelmingly alcoholic. He broke the silence. "You know, to be honest, Mr. A is stupid to let someone as nice and beautiful as you get away."

"Yeah, right," I said.

"And modest too," he added jokingly. It felt a bit awkward, being alone with Ossie and receiving compliments like this. I wasn't sure where he was going with it, but he changed the subject, so it didn't feel so uncomfortable. "Alright, so how did your introduction to the Society go?"

I opened up about that and told him what I had seen and liked, like the shibari and the whipping, and even how I was so in tune with Brooke getting whipped. Certainly, it was initially shocking to see a sexual encounter up close and personal like that, and the whipping just added to the intense nature of the event.

"So you felt like that was what you wanted?" he asked me.

"Yes, very much so, but I haven't experienced it yet."

"Why not, what happened?"

"Mr. A did a little, but it wasn't enough," I explained.

"Want to tell me a bit more? It's okay if you don't, but it might help me to understand and give you some insight. Like I mentioned the first night we met, I 'switch', meaning that I'm sometimes a Dom and sometimes a Sub, though at the Society, I'm all sub. It helps to give me understanding of both roles."

I nodded, thinking to myself about how much I should tell him. As a fellow submissive, I figured it couldn't hurt to let him in and see if he could help me understand.

"So, my first night with Mr. A was... different." I realized how that sounded, like he might think it was bad, so I quickly added, "Wait, I don't mean different in a bad way. I meant really that it was both more and less than what I expected, or maybe not exactly what I was hoping for. Like I told you how thrilling it was watching Brooke get whipped. I talked to her later and she explained how it felt. I wanted that same experience, to try it and understand what she felt. Even if I didn't like it or it was too much for me to handle, then I would have that chance. But he didn't do anything even close."

"What do you mean? What exactly did he do?"

"So you saw me and helped me dress, so you know about the cuffs and locks."

"Oh yes, I remember how hot you looked," he smiled mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows up and down in a funny fashion.

I smiled but continued. "He chained me up with my arms overhead, then he used a flogger and a paddle. He struck me on top and bottom, but it was very light, not nearly to the level what I saw with Mr. V and Brooke. Just when things were getting going, he would stop. It was frustrating."

"I know that feeling," he said. "I'm not one that likes to be whipped or spanked. As a sub, my interests are in restraint and mental submission. I love to be tied up so I can't move, then have a woman use my body in whatever way she wants. I love for her to tell me what she wants me to do to her and I have to obey her, or for her to tell me what she's going to do to me, and I'm powerless to resist. I've tried light whipping and such, but other than a playful swat here and there, the pain element of this isn't for me, so I can't really answer you from a submissive's point of view in that sense."

"I understand," I told him, then realized he wasn't finished.

"I can talk to you from a Dom's approach, though. I enjoy domination because I am giving the sub what she wants. I don't want to whip or hurt her at all; that's not what thrills me. If she enjoys it or wants it, that's another story. I really, really enjoy giving a sub what she wants. It's so erotic to see a woman get turned on and excited by what you are doing to her, whether it's BDSM play or normal sex or something else entirely. Often though, they never get to the level of excitement and even ecstasy without something out of the ordinary, like whipping or restraint or whatever. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, I think so. It's interesting to hear different opinions and likes and desires on their different BDSM interests, and what things they like and why. I definitely think you have the right approach." Another question came to mind, so I asked him, "What made you become a sub?"

"It wasn't any just one thing," he said, after taking a big sip of his drink. "Initially, I decided to try it just to see it from the other side. I met a woman who liked to be tied up, and who liked to tie up her lovers. This was after I joined the Society as a dom. Did you know that? I used to be Mr. P. Not many people remember that."