Author's Note -- This is another part of Elizabeth's journey that does not contain any overt sex with another person, though the sexuality and eroticism is present throughout.
"Many of the signals that either stoke or diminish female desire have to do with the female brain's question: Is it safe here?"
-- Naomi Wolf
CHAPTER 04
I just stood there a few moments, watching Aaron's car fade into the distance, then turn, and it was lost from sight. Trembling, I forced myself to regain my composure a bit. I walked to my car, sat down inside, started it, and began the drive home, my mind reeling.
As I settled down, the haze retreating as I returned to normal, everything came crashing back down on me all at once. I had to pull over. I couldn't focus enough to drive. My eyes welled up and the tears came flowing. I wasn't crying a sob of regret or remorse, nor one of elation, either. No, I cried because I was simply and completely overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, mind you, just in a way that I was not used to, one that assaulted all my senses and sensibilities at once. In that moment in the restaurant, when I had raised my skirt, and for an instant, when I pulled my underwear down, that part of me was nude, naked and revealed, open for him to see. Nothing was said and he didn't touch me. Yet as I lived that moment again and again in my mind, I realized one basic truth: it made me feel so alive!
I wiped the tears from my eyes and recovered myself, regaining my composure for a second time now today. I became stoic, resolved to not let my emotions overcome me like that anymore. I am a grown woman, after all, and I can handle these things. Looking in the car mirror, I fixed myself and resumed the drive home. I replayed the event again over and over in my mind, but this time focusing on the excitement. As I drove, I was acutely aware that my panties were gone and I wore nothing under my skirt. It was very noticeable, as I couldn't believe how aroused, how wet I was, how engorged I felt between my legs.
Trying to ignore that as best I could, I drove the rest of the way home. As I arrived home, I was exiting the car when I remembered the little package Aaron had given me. How could I have forgotten? I hastily opened it, sitting still in my car, and discovered it was a small smart phone. Attached to it was a handwritten note. It read:
"This is so we can talk privately and more directly. It is not active now but will be active exactly ten days from the conclusion of our lunch meeting. I look forward to speaking to you more then. A."
I shoved the phone in my purse and threw the note into the outside trash, tearing it and the package to shreds so no one else could read it or suspect anything. It was still several hours before Jonathan would be home, but I felt the need to be safe. I also needed to get out of these clothes and relax and contemplate what this day's activities meant. As I went inside, I went to my closet and stood, looking at myself again in the full--length mirror. I stared, wondering what Aaron thought of me, how I looked for him. He said I was lovely, that I was beautiful ... was I? Did he really mean it?
Looking at myself, I reached down and pulled up my skirt, like it would have been at the restaurant, when I exposed myself. He could see my garter, the straps still attached to the stockings, framing what my skirt and panties had previously concealed. I held my skirt up to my waist, looking at myself in the mirror, just like I did for him. I was showing off my upper thighs, my hips, the juncture where my thighs met, the small amount of light hair between my legs that hid my still engorged and wet mound.
I saw what he saw, and I could contain myself no longer. I went to my bed, laying down on my back, keeping my clothes on, my skirt staying hiked up in that same exposed position, one hand diving between my legs, the other snaking under my jacket, over my blouse and bra, and grabbing my breast. I was absolutely lost in the moment. In my mind, I was again in front of Aaron, naked from the waist down, but this time, after I took off my panties, when I stood, my skirt didn't fall. I stood there, letting him look at me. He ordered me to take all of my clothing off, and I quickly complied. I was completely naked before him and he told me to kneel and put my hands behind my back. In my fantasy, naked before him like that, I did what he told me to.
He then slowly walked over to me and his hands went to the front of his pants, unbuckling them and opening them up. He told me to open my mouth. I did. As he then presented himself to me, as my mouth opened and moved to take him in, my orgasm erupted over me. It was an immense feeling of overwhelming sensuality and arousal, coupled with erotic desire the likes of which I've seldom known. I arched my head backward, thrusting out my chest, my fingers moving hard and fast over my engorged mound. As my orgasm ripped through me, my legs closed, my muscles going tight, and oh my was it intense! It lasted at least twice as long as any orgasm I could remember, my body spasming as I let out a stifled moan of immense pleasure. I thought to myself that if this is how Aaron can make me feel just in my mind, imagine how he could make me feel in person!!
As I felt myself cool down and return to normal, I giggled under my breath. I imagined what I looked like then, my skirt hiked up and wrinkled, jacket and blouse all disheveled, my legs spread wide on the bed, my hand still between my legs, my hair a mess from craning my neck backward. I just lay there for a while, basking in the afterglow of one of the best orgasms I'd ever given myself.
After a while, I mustered the energy to get up. I stripped and put away my clothing, hiding my intimates back in their concealed place. I drew a bath and relaxed in the hot water. I continued to have that feeling of sensuality, of sexuality, running throughout my body. Now naked in the water, my hand returned between my legs. I repeated my thoughts earlier, carrying the fantasy further, to every conceivable outcome, and a second orgasm took me while I bathed and fantasized in the hot water. This orgasm wasn't nearly as intense as the first, but it was still pretty incredible. Better than any I've ever had with Jonathan.