I arrive at the beach 5 minutes early and sit down to wait. My brain is going crazy, and my stomach is entirely butterflies. This is the man who i've chatted to for so long and recently so deep and sexual, and yet all I can think is he will be disappointed when he gets here and remembers I'm me.
As the gentle breeze passes over me, my mind begins to change direction. I start fantasising about what it would be like to go swimming here with him. The idea of being in the water, fooling around, running back up the beach, and then struggling not to get carried away.
It's no surprise that when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I jolt with panic as I leave the fantasy and come back to the real world. I hear him laughing as he sits down. So not fair, so embarrassing; from how much I jumped, it was clear I was daydreaming, and he, of all people, knows exactly what I want.
As he starts to chat, I find myself anxious and struggling to talk. I worry he's reading this as he's pushing, or I'm uncomfortable, but the more I try to stop it, the worse it gets. So I move slightly closer and lay my head on his shoulder as he puts his arm around me. It feels so much easier to talk, and as we chat and joke, I gradually start looking at him.
Time moves on, and he suggests we go for a walk and head back to his; I smile keenly, wondering what lies ahead. He gets up and offers his hand. Instinctively I take it and get up and grab my backpack. It's not big; I didn't really need much, considering tonight was all about exploring. Just a change of clothes, a makeup bag, and he'd asked I bring my toys.
As I went to let go thinking he'd only offered his hand until I was up, he didn't let go; instead, he just smiled and said, come on. I couldn't stop grinning as we walked. I felt so safe and wanted that it just made me feel sexy and in need of him.
We didn't walk and chat for too long, guessing he didn't want either of us wasting energy. As we got to his place, he took my bag and put it down and suggested we start with a hot drink.
We chat as he makes a drink, but clearly, there's only one way forward. We need to break the ice. I've never found myself wanting someone or what they offer so much, but yet my head is still so afraid that I'm not enough.
He shows me around, we stop at his room. He says I can go in if I want to. I find myself walking in and sitting on the bed without thinking. He sits down next to me, and before I have time to overthink, we are kissing.
The moment his lips touch me, I feel on fire; my brain betrays me quickly and leaves as I find myself reacting to his touch. As our lips part, he moves to my neck. As he begins kissing my neck, I find myself unable to think about anything but how much I need him inside me. Each touch of my neck sending this burning desire through my body.