It was an evening like no other. The events which changed my life forever. While now I may start at the end of my journey, I feel that it is important to do this tale justice, in remembrance of my Master.
He was my life. He captured my heart and soul and understood me so well, unlike any other individual past or present. He loved me, I enchanted Him, He was all that was good and just in this world. He led me with an iron will, and embraced me as if I were His long lost lover.
I first met Him, on an online chatroom, usual conversation and exchange of pleasantries. Even from the first moment when we spoke I knew that He was the one who I would spend my life with. Almost a year we chatted, role-played, shared pictures, spoke on the phone, learnt about each other in ways that may not have seemed as realistic as we weren't together as flesh and blood.
The moment came almost a year later when in my private mailbox, my secret one, that delivers my personal mail, I found a small envelope. It wasn't postmarked or addressed in any way, just a simple white envelope. I still have the envelope and its short note hidden within my favourite collection of poems. I am a Walt Whitman fanatic from long back. I opened the envelope thinking it was some mistake, or perhaps a form of advertising or junk mail as some countries call it. There within lay a small white card, "Sweet one, for it is time for Me to call upon you where we are to be made as One." Seeing that in His sweeping handwriting, knowing that He was calling me, summoning me, breaking the barrier between online and real life. I immediately went home to my computer, after a while He knew my routine, at what hour I went to check my mail, get home from university, worked and use the computer (well I was still an undergrad at the time, happily to say I have finished my degrees now.) He was indeed online, as I knew He always would be. It was as if He could sense my tears, feel my heart exploding between us. He knew what I was feeling, how I was feeling, it was something that always amazed me.
That night I was to go to Him. He gave me His address and instructed me to be at His door at 8pm in the attire that He so often told me to present myself to Him in. He was always a gentleman. Taking care of my needs, and yet being the one in control, the one to be respected and loved. I was never trashy, or ugly in His eyes, although I felt it constantly. He always chided me on my low self-esteem and lack of pride. From His perspective I was His, that I was worthy to be His love, His creature, His submissive.
I remember Him to never have scolded me in anger. He always ensured he was calm and focused. He made me kneel before him, with my head lowered. He always told me of my wrongdoings and showed his disappointment by merely the change of His tone. It wasn't often that I forgot things, but sometimes in the rush of one's life, you tend to slip up occasionally. He punished me, not severely but enough to show His displeasure. The notion of even doing one single thing wrong, for Him to even consider me a failure in His eyes, was the harsher in my mind, than that of the physical punishment.