Sometimes when I am with my new lover, I can only come if I can imagine you there, waiting to eat his cum out of me, waiting to suck his cock clean of my juices. I know that you are not really there, and I know that it's not healthy, sometimes it even makes me cry because you're not there, frances, and I wish I didn't want you to be there. I wish I didn't need you to be there with me as he spreads my legs and moves his head between them.
I would rather not have to pretend and imagine you there, as his mouth begins to work its magic, licking and sucking....sometimes I wish it were you. I wish that I were holding your leash, forcing your head into my pussy, instructing you what to do to me, how to do it, where to put your fingers, where to put your tongue.
I imagine you bringing me close to an orgasm with your fingers inside me, your tongue in my ass, but before you can finish me off, I tell you to go sit in the corner, to watch a real man fuck me. I order you to kneel, your hands behind your head, at attention. I even gently lick your cock before you assume the position, tasting your pre-cum, knowing how much this excites you, how much you need it to feel like the man that you are, deep inside.
As he mounts me, as his big cock shoves into me, I look over in the corner. And in my imagination, our eyes meet, our gaze is locked, as he fucks me. You know that I am doing this for you, you know that I consider it a privilege to be your goddess.
The pain and the pleasure that I fantasize seeing in your face, as one emotion comes, the previous one disappears and back and forth they continue, as you watch your queen being fucked. You know that when I am full, when my cunt is drenched in his cum, you will have another chance to make me cum - as I order you to kneel between his legs. He will sit on the edge of the bed, as I watch, you hesitantly lick the tip of his cock, tasting me on it, my slickness, my wetness. A taste that is so familiar to you, just thinking of my taste can make your cock rock hard, can't it?
You've tried to push me out of your life, out of your dreams, out of your fantasies, but I keep coming back into your conscience. You can't rid yourself of me, frances, and that makes you angry, it makes you feel powerless, something you are not accustomed to feeling. You like to be in control, always, of your body of your mind and of your life.
But when it comes to me, you cannot help yourself, you are like putty in my hands and in my words.
This is your dream, to suck a man's cock, to be made to behave in a way you don't have the balls to do without being instructed. You want to suck a man's cock, you want to take my cock up your ass but what you really want, most of all, is to take a man's cock up your ass - for me. It would please me to see you with my man's cock up your ass, with tears running down your cheeks, blubbering, spreading your ass cheeks, begging for it, begging for a cock up inside your asshole. You want to be the sissy that you know that you are.
You try to deny it, you don't want me to know you better than you know yourself but I do and you know it so it's time to accept it. It's time to accept your place in my life and my place in your life.
You should be kneeling, begging, turning yourself over to me. I know the sissy-self you hide from the world, I know you for who you really are, so when I imagine you in the corner, fingers intertwined behind your head, supporting yourself on your knees despite the ache. The ache in your knees, the ache in your balls, the ache in your ass (because you know that I would have slipped a large buttplug inside you before I sent you to the corner, stretching you open, getting you ready for my man's cock inside you).
I like visualizing your eyes meeting mine, watching me intently, watching my face for pleasure, for pain, knowing that soon, very soon, you will lick my taste of my man's cock, as it shrivels, you will lick his balls and his thighs, trying to taste all of me, trying to get all of me off of his genitals.
He will hold your head, his fingers wrapped in your hair, guiding your tongue, telling you where to find more of me. You will do anything for me and you know that I need more than one man in my life. You know your place. Your place is about pleasing me. It's what you need, it's what you crave, it fulfills you.