Gina: Laughter
Gina laughed. Gina laughed until she thought she would split. She could barely breathe. The giddy, giggling, quaking quiver shook her silly. She had no idea that laughing hurt. Laughter's breathless side-ache surprised her; its goofy gasping unnerved her. She just had had no experience.
Gina had never been able to laugh. She had always taken this personal malfunction to be a sort of disability and the distinguishing symptom of her solitary nature and freakish personality disorder. She tried to laugh; but she just could not. All these years Gina had felt so left out, kicked to the side, watching all those happy shining people sharing laughter.
"And so this is what it is like? It hurts? Oh, my." Gina laughed for the sake of laughing, so her laughter doubled up, and she doubled over. Until this, Gina hadn't even been able to pretend to laugh. When she tried, everyone gawked at her as if she had transformed into a braying donkey. She practiced in the mirror, and she just squeaked like a mouse. But this was funny. This was perfectly hilarious. This joy sucked her breath away and made her knees weak. Laughing tears bounced down her cheeks. She laughed like spring flowers cascading into a rushing brook. Gina through her arms around Ashley and breathlessly pleaded, "Oh, please make her stop. It's too much."
Immediately after Anna's talk on the erotic Mesopotamian artifacts, Anna and Ashley had hustled Gina and Edward off to Anna's house, a huge old Victorian lounging gracefully off Main Street under giant, ancient oaks. Anna made hurried excuses to all the shocked academics and took off with Ashley, Gina, and Edward in tow. No one objected to this sudden departure of the star of the evening because no one could think of a refined, professional way of discussing bondage pornography, albeit six thousand year old bondage pornography.
Edward had gotten the women drinks and was vigorously striding back and forth across Anna's elegantly appointed sitting room balancing his wine and pontificating about the revolutionary nature of Anna's discoveries. In mid sentence, Anna rose from her chair, walked up to him, smiled politely, and vigorously kneed him in the balls. Edward's wine spilled all over his face, up his nose and down his stylish herringbone jacket. Edward gasped for breath. His mouth formed a perfect "o". Professor Edward Fish treated the girls to a hilarious caricature of a cartoon fish, mouth moving in silent gasping oh's, wine dripping out of its nose, its fish eyes watering and pleading. Edward turned slightly green and fell to his knees with a pathetic, "Oomph."
Edward's callous betrayals had driven Gina to the brink of emotional collapse. Now for a fleeting moment she thought this must be a wish-fulfilling hallucination. Anna bent over the knelling Edward, hooked her finger in his gaping mouth, and raised his face to look into her mocking eyes. Edward looked like seafood on a stringer. As Anna bent slightly at the waist, her full breasts shifted forward and pressed against her silken bodice. A swell of embroidered flowers bloomed on Anna's bulging bosom. She looked down, smiled sweetly at the famed professor cringing at her feet and tenderly inquired, "Sweetheart, are you alright? Are you paying attention? Your eyes seem a bit glazed over. You really should listen when I speak to you."
Understanding suddenly lit Gina's way. "That's just what I wanted to do. That is just what the son-of-a-bitch deserves. Look at him. Look at that slithering creep; he is fucking ridiculous." Gina's anger, depression, and anxiety dissolved, morphing into a wave of laughter. Laughter too long repressed welled from deep within, surged over the levees of reticence, and swept Gina away.
Anna's long blushing locks fell softly upon her creamy shoulders. Her silken scarves and full-length dress floated lightly about, draping her in an aurora of pastel. She looked down on her fiancée hooked by his lip on her finger. With faux sympathy dripping with derision, Anna mocked, "Edward, darling, sweetheart, oh my loving husband-to-be, you seem to have spilled wine all over yourself. You can be such a clumsy bumpkin. If you spilled on my rug, I will be most upset. Lick the floor; clean up your mess."
Edward's voice returned with a weak, hoarse croak. "Anna, what was that? What were you thinking?"
Anna smiled pleasantly, "Edward darling, I was thinking you are a worthless lying prick. Ashley has told me everything you have been doing to this innocent girl. You are truly disgusting." There was no anger in Anna's voice, just a touch of patient disappointment, amusement perhaps, but mostly Anna's ever composed feminine tranquility.
Edward attempted to get up off his feet, but Anna put her hand in his face and smoothly directed him back down. "I said lick the floor." Edward burned with embarrassment and rising anger. He was a fit, athletic looking man, but despite this, he was a bookworm, not a fighter. He always avoided physical confrontations and competitions; he even avoided golf. Now a woman half his strength had laid him low by while two girls, his students, sat by and laughed at him. This was totally beyond his realm. His mind whirred; ethical arguments, excuses, principled positions, and verbal stratagems assembled. Edward reasoned, "First I must stand up on my own two feet. This is absurd."
"Anna let me expl..." This time, unseen from behind, Ashley kicked him in the back of his knee as Edward attempted to rise up from the floor. He collapsed again in surprise and pain. Ashley said, "Please excuse me Anna, but I found him so much more attractive groveling on the floor. And Gina seems to be having the time of her life looking down on the slimy, lying slut-man cringing at your feet. I don't think I have ever seen her laugh so hard...for that matter I don't remember her laughing at anything. Can Gina have a turn? Can Gina kick this hollow jerk-off in the balls?" There was a feigned echo of Anna's forbearance in Ashley's voice, but elation and bald contempt were the dominate cords.
"Why of course. Gina darling, would you like to kick my fiancé in the balls? Since you have been allowing him to use your bottom to vent his masculine compulsions, I think it is the least you ought to do. It is time for you to restore proper gender relations. I really do not mind that you were fucking him, but I do think you owe it to me to put him in his place. He gets all puffed up and unruly if women don't assert control in their relations with him."
Gina looked at Ashley. Ashley urged, "Go on. It'll be good for you. Oh yeah, sorry Gina. I told Anna he was doing you dirty. I know you said he wasn't, but I knew you were lying, and I know he put you up to those lies. I detest dishonesty, but I will forgive your lies if you show that for once you'll act on instinct, for once you will step past trite social convention and be the real you. Since you were simply repeating Edward's lies, I will hold him accountable. I realize what a sweet talker he can be and that you were head over heels with him. But now that you see him crawling at our feet, I hope your see your love in a new light - heels over head, so to speak. Set things straight and I will forgive you.
