I looked at the clock, it was five-thirty, Master would be home in a half hour. I was so excited. I always was when he was on his way home. I glanced around the kitchen, everything was perfect. The table was set, the dinner was almost done in the oven, fresh bread was on the table, and I was finishing a large salad. I hadn't had a chance to speak to him at lunch today and I was wondering how his day had been. I cut the last of the cucumbers and walked into the living room to check on the kids. All three boys were playing a sports game on the Wii. I told them to finish their game and go get ready for dinner. Once they had been sent off, I went to the bedroom to prepare myself.
I removed my jeans and t-shirt as well as my bra and panties. I slid on a dinner dress and brushed out my hair. My Master wanted me in a dress with my hair down and wanted me free from any barriers, so no underclothes. I touched up my eye makeup, the only kind I was allowed, and bit my lips to redden them. I fluffed my hair one more time and left the bedroom to see if the boys were washed and dressed. Master had no requirements when we welcomed him home, I did though. I loved him and adored him and wanted him to know how very much I missed him while he was at work. I required that the boys be dressed for dinner and that they play quietly in the living room or their rooms so Master could relax. I always tried not to pounce on him as he came through the door but always failed miserably. I just couldn't wait to give him a kiss and see how his day had gone.
Five fifty-eight, two minutes. I checked dinner and bounced near the door waiting. I could hear the Wii start back up but I didn't mind, the boys knew I expected them to welcome their stepfather home eagerly. They would without my urging, they loved their stepfather almost as much as I did. He was kind, loving, and while firm with them, he adored the boys and was proud of them. I found myself actually hopping and my eldest came in to tease me.
"Dad will be home in just a minute Mom, jeez." He giggled and hugged me. "It's hard for you to wait for him huh?"
"Yes it is. I..." I heard the crunch of the tires as Master turned into the driveway and the garage door opened. A little squeak escaped my mouth and my son rolled his eyes and went in to play his video game. Every nerve was on fire as the garage door shut and I heard his car door open and shut. He opened the back door of his car and I was curious but a bit annoyed because it was taking so long for him to get inside I thought that I would explode. I heard the back door of the car shut then the trunk opened. I groaned and turned the door knob.
"Can't wait, my dear?" His cool smooth voice was thick with laughter. "You just wait there behind that door." I couldn't help but whimper but we both knew I would do as asked. The door creaked in protest as I clutched it and bounced. The boys heard the door open and rushed into the entryway.
"Dad!" They ran out into the garage to help and all I heard was whispering. I blew a lungful of air out in a huff. I heard Master chuckle and the boys giggle. Finally, I heard the trunk shut and four sets of feet stomp toward the house.
"Go into the kitchen, Love," Master said. I groaned and did as he asked. I pulled dinner out of the oven and set it on the table. I puttered around doing nothing. After an eternity, all of two minutes, Master called me into the living room. I ran as fast as I could and jumped into his arms. I kissed every bit of his face before attacking his mouth. Master laughed into my kiss and held me tight.
"I missed you," I sighed. He made a small noise of pleasure and approval as he recaptured my lips in a deep kiss.
"Mm. I missed you today too, baby girl." He started to say more but I couldn't help myself and I kissed him hard and deep again. He groaned and then chuckled into my mouth. "Why don't you look around and see the surprise I brought for you." He laughed as he broke free and kissed my cheek. I pulled back and looked at him then I forced myself to look away from his face and saw the most beautiful display of flowers arranged around a stack of leather-bound journals. Master squeezed my waist and gave my earlobe a tiny bite.
"Happy Birthday, baby," Master said with a kiss.
"Happy Birthday, Mom," The boys echoed. I was shocked. I had forgotten it was my birthday. I stood frozen for a moment.
"You forgot it was your birthday, didn't you?" Master chuckled and kissed me again.
"Yeah, I did. I guess I got busy," I confessed with a blush as I walked to the coffee table and picked up one of the journals. It was a blank journal bound with imprinted leather.
"I know," Master said, his voice had become stern, "You have been working too hard. You are wearing yourself out. I have another surprise after dinner." Master combed through my hair with his fingers and a shudder of pleasure coursed through my body. He placed a kiss on my shoulder and offered his arm to escort me into dinner. I stopped him and picked up a vase of flowers. With a pleased smirk he took the flowers from me and carried them to our table.
Dinner was pleasant and I loved the sounds of conversation and eating from my men. They joked and told stories about their day. I listened with contentment and joy while Master told the boys a funny story and they all started laughing. After so many years of struggle, my world was as perfect as I could imagine. Master lifted his hand to caress my cheek and I flinched. I saw the fire flash in his eyes and I was so ashamed.
I had been beaten, a long time ago, beaten and abused, and sometimes, I still flinched or winced. Master hated that anything had happened to me and it hurt him when I flinched away from him. I wasn't afraid of Master, not in the slightest. The reactions were a reflex, something instinctive and primal and once excited, something I cannot turn off. I've tried, and the flinching has gotten better, but it still happened sometimes when I was surprised or emotional. The wonderful surprise of the birthday gifts had me touched and happy but it lowered my guard and the flinching was back.
I knew that Master wasn't mad at me, but I was ashamed and upset at hurting him. I couldn't meet his eyes and felt like crying. Master's finger traced my cheek and hooked under my chin. He lifted my face. He held my face up until I met his eyes. The anger was gone and all I saw was his love and compassion. He smiled at me and kissed my eyes.
"It's okay," was all he said. He returned to his meal with a tense smile. The boys looked down at their plates. Hot tears started down my cheeks. I knew I needed to say something to make them feel better.
"Listen to me." Everyone looked up at me. "What happened, happened. There is no changing it. We survived it. We were strong, smart and we got away. Now we are happy. We have a wonderful life. I'm very sorry that my brain still protects me even though there's no threat, but there is no reason to feel bad. The flinches are a response from part of the brain that doesn't think, it just reacts. I've already flinched by the time the signal gets to my consciousness. I flinched because I am so happy and feel so loved that my brain forgot to relax. It's okay. I'm very happy." The boys' faces brightened and they returned with vigor to their meals and their conversation. Master smiled at me proudly but there was sadness behind his eyes.
The boys finished eating and though it was not the norm, Master excused them with a nod and the boys each kissed my cheek before they left the room. I looked at Master curiously but he just smiled at me. I watched him take a few more bites and he looked at me.
