Escapades Of Eva Ch 76

Eva lay on her tummy quietly sobbing for a long time. She thought about Sir Dan's last comment letting it run through her head over and over. And, every time her sobbing would ease she would think about how she had hurt her Sir and start crying all over gain.

She knew the whole purpose of Dominance and submission was for each one in the couple to learn, and even anticipate, the other one's needs in all things. And she knew that it was necessary for one to be Dominant, to steer the ship in effect, and ultimately to take responsibility for providing honorable guidance, leadership, nurturing and discipline for both of them in each of their roles.

But, she also knew that it is just as necessary and important for the submissive to take responsibility for following the guidance and leadership of the Dominant as clearly, and uncompromisingly as possible in order for the ship to run smoothly. She also knew that her own life had never run as smoothly, as happily, and as peacefully as it had since she had given over her submission to the kind, gentle, guidance of this wonderful man.

She knew she was headstrong, and Sir had told her several times that he would not have a submissive who was a door mat. He told her how much he loved her strength and her ability to take care of anything that he wanted her to do. He had told her that a strong woman was what every Dominant looked for, because it made her obedience all the more special once she had submitted to him. And it was because a Dominant man knew he could count on her to follow his instructions whenever he needed her to.

He had proved to her from the beginning that he was a steady, nurturing and fair man, and had gained her trust completely. He did everything with her growth, her well being and enjoyment in mind. She had grown beyond her deepest imaginings in her relationship with him.

Oh, why was she still not able to control her libido like Sir wanted her to? It seemed like a double message for her to be expected to respond and cum on command, yet stop her pussy from betraying her at the same time. She groaned loudly as she felt another huge twinge of guilt at letting her Sir down once again. She wished she knew how to solve this predicament.

Sir had taught her these things by showing her how to communicate. She had learned that complete communication was the key to a Dominate/submissive relationship. She knew she still had more to learn about communication, but the fact that he not only wanted her to communicate, but insisted on spending the time it took to learn all about her needs and wants had helped her trust in him grow.

The fact that he wanted to know these things about her, and that he made her communicate with him in a give and take manner had helped her to trust. She let her tears fall again just thinking about what a good man he was, and how much she loved him.

So, why had she disappointed him again? Why was she so impulsive? She wanted him to be able to trust her too. But, how was she going to be able to start and stop her passions without losing the ability to get hot and wet? She wanted Sir to be proud of her sexual abilities but would she ever be able to be in control and still turn it on and off that easily?

He had been so good and patient with her and disappointing him was like a knife slicing into her heart whenever she failed him. He never criticized her and she loved him for that. She wanted more than anything to erase any pain she had caused this special man.

Instead of preaching at her, he talked with her and encouraged her to let him know all her thoughts and feelings. He had told her often that he could not read her mind and that the only way he would be able to Dominate her properly was if she told him what was in her head.

And she had come to trust that he would really listen to her and address her concerns and feelings. She had learned that in this way he was a magnificent Dominant instead of a domineering jerk like her past partners had been.

She knew that everything he did in their relationship was with her, and her welfare, safety and happiness uppermost in his mind. In learning how to trust him with everything, her heart, her mind, her body, and her soul, even her life, she had learned how to trust herself more as well. But she knew she still had more to learn.

Before knowing her Sir she thought the term submission meant being under someone's thumb, being abused and belittled as it had been in past relationships. Yet, as her trust of Sir Dan had grown, she had learned that within his strong guidance and control she could soar as a person beyond her wildest dreams.

She loved serving him and she did everything she could think of to make him proud. So, why was this one thing so hard for her?

She had also learned how enlightening and enjoyable a relationship could be, instead of the horror she had known with her ex-husband. She was constantly amazed at how far trusting her Sir had brought her in learning how to trust herself as well. He had helped her learn how to fly within herself, how to embrace and enjoy all things about her life. It was no wonder she loved him so.

But, as she wiped away the last of her tears in her reverie, she began to cry anew. She realized that even though her Sir had never given her a reason to not trust him, it was not the same as the trust he had in her. She knew then that Sir had placed his trust in her as well, and she had let him down again and again on this issue.

She cried, and cried and cried as she thought about how she had disappointed him, even though she knew it was never on purpose. This was the hardest thing she had ever needed to learn but she had to find a way to do it. Otherwise, how could she ever expect him to have the same trust in her when she kept messing up?

Finally when her sobs turned into sniffles she lay still and thought about what she had done to Sir, and ultimately to herself in dishonoring his trust in her. Then with a new resolve in her heart to do better she sat up. She knew that she would have to ask Sir later if he would help her be able to control her libido just the way he was able to do with himself.

She got up then, and dimly aware of the bids for the slaves being announced over the microphone, she went to the little rest room at the back of the room. She cleaned her face and fixed her makeup. Then she got another cold soda and returned to the window behind the stage. But, instead of kneeling on the floor she decided to sit in the overstuffed chair. She thought that if she did not sit in the same titillating positions as she had earlier, it might make her more able to control her own lust ... she hoped so anyway.

As she settled into the comfy chair she looked out over the audience for her Sir. She did not see him where he had been standing next to Sir Randy. She frowned a little as another twinge of guilt nagged at her. She hoped he was all right and had not been too disappointed in her. Why did she keep doing this?

As she tried to focus on the stage again she heard a noise at the door. Thinking it might be Sir she slipped to her knees on the slave pillow by the easy chair and assumed an obedient passion slave posture again.

"Bring her in here Mike," she heard Sir Dan say.

But instead of looking up she spread her knees a little and sat back on her heels. And, as she lowered her eyes she sniffed back a stray tear.

... to be continued