It's the first day of the course and I hesitate on the threshold of your classroom, wondering for the hundredth time what insanity drove me to sign up for an erotic writing seminar.
Writing is my catharsis, but I'm not sure my desires run dark and deep enough and I've never expressed my most intimate thoughts to anyone. Why would I pour them out in public now? Could I even let my mind fully explore all its recesses?
I finally step through the door and as I glance towards your imposing desk my heart sinks. Your brooding presence fills the room and as you look up towards me I'm suddenly drowning in eyes the colour of a storm-tossed sea.
I bite my lip and my eyes involuntarily drop from your searing gaze that burns a slow path down my body. I feel naked, vulnerable and small.
I tug nervously at my hem, trying to pull it further down my thighs. You notice and an amused smile flits across your face; a smile that widens into a wolfish grin as a blush turns my cheeks rosy.
I am the last of your five students to arrive and as I stumble into the nearest seat still flustered, you rise from yours. I swallow hard as I glance at your long, lean body encased in ass-hugging, low slung jeans and a casual black shirt and in that moment I know unequivocally that you're teaching the class not from a textbook, but from experience.
The thought that you're dangerous touches the edges of my mind, but I brush it aside. I'm just nervous about the course and I'm projecting, I reason.
Your rich baritone starts pouring over me like warm honey and I'm spellbound; immobilised as effectively as if you'd shackled me to the chair. My breath catches in my chest and I know I'd do anything, give anything, to have that voice whispering filthy words - perhaps even orders - into the curved shell of my ear.
The dissonance of that notion is as exciting as it is terrifying. My fantasies have always been rich, but I'd never even considered the notion of taking orders from a man. Right now that's all I want to do, though, and I feel a flush rising over my chest and my nipples contract painfully.
The hard tips press through the scant covering of a lacy bra just below the scooped neckline of my clinging silk dress. You notice within seconds and I can feel your amusement resonating across the room.
I'm angered and aroused at the same time, and my legs involuntarily cross as I feel my dark recess grow moist under your heated gaze. You have no right to revel in my discomfort, I silently rage. I'm here to learn; not for your personal pleasure.
My attention returns to your words just as you turn to me and ask: "What drives your passion? You have to write from the soul; if you don't believe it, how will anyone reading your words lose themselves in the fantasy? Everyone else here seems to have a clear direction; what's yours?"
I realise then just how far my attention has wandered; I've blanked on at least five minutes of debate and I stammer: "I'm not really sure yet. I'm going to have to give it a bit more thought. Um... that is, if you don't mind?" I hate the uncertainty in my voice; the vulnerability - and most of all, I hate that I've asked for your permission. But you just nod briefly and move on.
The hour-long class passes in a flash and all too soon you close by giving your first writing assignment and wishing us a good week. We stand collectively and start gathering our things.