Edited by Rosmarina (whose advice and assistance are much appreciated)
Please do not reproduce this story without permission.
== Chapter 9 ==
It seemed like years since I'd had such a long phone conversation with Master. When we first met we had two or three such conversations every week for the first few months we knew each other. But since I've been with him almost every day and night in recent years there has not been the opportunity or necessity for so much intense dialogue and talking to him tonight brought back just how satisfying it is to have such a deep and extended form of communication with someone who truly understands you. I felt very happy to be able to express myself to Master without the misunderstandings or lack of comprehension that so often happen, even with people who are close to you.
Apart from Chloe I've never had anyone else I could talk to really openly or ask questions without fear of being judged. Since my own ideas often seem to be quite different to what most other people think, I've learned the hard way to be cautious about what I say to people unless I know them extremely well.
Before I met Master I had ventured occasionally into a few internet-based discussion groups. I thought that it might be useful to talk with other people who shared my interest in things like dominance and submission and that this would be a good way to learn more. I say *ventured" because I was rather nervous about going on-line at all, but I was careful not to give out too much information. These on-line groups just involved posting individual emails to a message board which others could then respond to if they wished and it was not a "chat room" or anything like that!
From what I've heard most chat rooms are full of people who just want to take advantage of someone like me. Of course I'm sure there are some genuine people there as well, but I didn't feel I had the self-confidence or deep understanding of myself that would have made it easier for me to tell the difference. So I was not going to put myself in a position where I could not be sure who I was talking to and I'd feel very vulnerable having to defend myself from on-line predators who will say anything to string you along. Instead I felt more comfortable on a bulletin board and at first I really enjoyed reading through the posts and very occasionally I made a comment or two myself.
Even in such a relatively safe environment I had to leave a few of these groups when guys started trying to hit on me even though that was supposedly not allowed. They'd keep everything polite and innocent on the list but message me privately wanting to "get to know me better" or suggesting that we meet up somewhere. When they kept doing so despite my refusal to respond I no longer felt safe and would just leave. I'm not totally innocent or unable to stand up for myself, but I didn't want to have to deal with people like that. It really creeped me out.
The only time I did respond was to a guy named Eric as he happened to live very close to me and he seemed such a nice and interesting person judging by what he wrote on-line. He wrote some beautiful posts which were insightful and at the same time quite witty. So I thought he was at least someone I could talk to even though I had no interest in anything more than that. We exchanged a few emails and eventually I did agree to meet him in a cafe as he said he had a book he wanted to loan me.
I thought meeting him at a cafe couldn't be too dangerous as it was a very public place, so I agreed to have coffee with him one afternoon. I told him I'd be wearing a red dress and that I'd sit at a table in the window so he could find me. I thought we would just have an innocent chat about general topics of conversation like you do when you're talking to someone you hardly know. I had no intention of starting any relationship with him as nothing like that had been discussed and if he had made such a suggestion I'd never have agreed to meet him.
As soon as he sat down I regretted agreeing to meet. Eric turned out to be much older than I'd imagined from the way he wrote and there was something about his manner that made me uncomfortable.
My instinctive reaction was soon proved correct as Eric immediately started trying to persuade me to go back to his house. I'd never agree to go anywhere with someone I'd only just met and my interest in going off with him in particular was zero, so of course I refused. He was not my type and he looked kind of weird so as soon as possible I finished my coffee and made an excuse about having to go. He insisted that I take the book he'd originally mentioned wanting to lend me and to be polite I accepted it and dashed off.
I never looked at the book and felt bad that I'd agreed to borrow it. I wished I'd had the presence of mind not to take the book, but I just wanted to get away from Eric as quickly as possible so I didn't argue when he insisted. Now I felt guilty that I would not be able to return it as even though it was such a brief meeting I got a very strange vibe from Eric, and I certainly never had any intention of meeting him ever again.
It was not long afterwards I met Master online and I immediately felt a sense of connection with him. We began to correspond and soon this became a daily ritual. Usually I made time during the day to write Master a long email full of my thoughts, questions and dreams and by that night he would have replied with an equally long and thoughtful message. This meant that we quickly developed a wonderfully close and intimate way of relating even though we had not yet met.
It was so different to anything I'd ever experienced with a man before as he was so supportive, kind, intelligent, wise, funny and in every way someone I felt comfortable with. I was so overwhelmed that within a short time I asked if I could address him as Master. To his credit he pointed out that even though we related to each other in a very special way it was too soon for me to see him as my Master as that implied he had certain rights and a very significant degree of control over me. He felt that we should get to know each other much better before agreeing to anything beyond developing our mutual friendship and trust.
This was so different to what I'd expected as most men I'd known were only too willing to make a move on me as soon as they thought they could get away with it. I settled for calling him Sir at first, but after a while I was finally allowed to address him as Master once we'd agreed that he would train me. He still insisted that there was a lot to discuss before we should even consider meeting but it was reassuring to have him as my guide and mentor. He encouraged me to read anything I could find on the internet and discuss anything I found of interest with him. Even if what I found was rubbish (as is so common with internet-based material) we had many useful discussions as a result. I was not allowed to talk with others of course.
Master did allow me to join some on-line discussion groups like those I had briefly joined before. He usually joined the same groups so he could see what I was posting and what others were posting, so I felt quite safe being in any such groups. He felt it might be educational for me to have a broader forum than simply my ongoing discussions with him, although Master was certainly my main focus. I enjoyed the interaction on these groups very much as the members mostly seemed genuinely nice and very open-minded. I didn't realise that Eric was also a member of one of these groups as he was posting under a different name than before.
One day I was shocked to get a private message from him asking when I was going to return his book. I had forgotten all about Eric and his book and I really didn't want to see him again. Foolishly, I thought that if I returned his book that would be the end of it. I certainly didn't want to give him my address so he could pick it up and now that I'd met Master I just wanted to get on with my life. Eric was the last person I wanted to talk to.
I really thought that once I'd returned his book I would not have to even think of Eric ever again. He lived only a short distance from my house, so I said I'd drop the book off to him. I stupidly imagined that once I'd handed over the book he would have no more reason to contact me. So I agreed to come over the following day.
It took a while to find the book as I'd long forgotten all about it, but eventually I located it buried under some papers on a shelf where it had been ever since that strange first meeting. The next day at the agreed time I drove to the address Eric had given me. It was only about five minutes away from my home and although he'd told me that he'd lived there for many years I'd never seen him around. After parking in the street outside, I went to his door and knocked. A woman opened the door and I was a bit surprised as I'd expected to see Eric and just give him the book. I had intended to simply hand it over and leave again as soon as possible.
"Just come in for a moment, Dearie," she said and taking my arm she somehow got me through the door. She was a friendly and rather plump middle-aged lady and seemed so nice that I didn't at first realise what had happened until I heard the door shut behind me. I almost turned around and tried to open the door so I could leave but she started asking me if I'd like a cup of tea and suggested that I sit down while she went to get Eric.
I didn't want to seem rude so I allowed her to guide me to a chair in the front room. Before I could say anything she rushed off saying Eric would be with me shortly and went into the kitchen. I could hear the noises of cups and saucers and I was just thinking of calling out that I didn't really want a cup of tea when my attention was drawn to some strange paintings on the walls. The whole room was very cluttered and I hadn't really looked around when I first entered as I was still wondering why Eric hadn't come to the door when he knew I was about to arrive so I could return his book.