This is a story about my first real tease and denial experience. It was my first kinky experience of any kind, really. It was also the first time I felt completely helpless, afraid, and at the mercy of someone from whom I had no idea what to expect. It was one of the stupidest things I've ever done. And yet, with the power the mind seems to have to focus on the positive aspects of memories, it's one of my memories that turns me on more than anything else.
It happened during my senior year of college. I'm not going to claim I was some sort of "Casanova" or that I was the handsomest man around, but I was quite popular on campus, and that extended well into my experiences with girls. I had my share of flings throughout my college "career", but, like many guys my age, focused little on serious relationships.
The woman who I shared this experience with, was named Becky. Becky was a sophomore in college, still in the process of discovering who she was outside of her strict, religious upbringing. She was attractive, but not in the "smoking hot" manner with which I'd become accustomed. She was short, at around 5' 3", and had kept most of her "freshman 15" that she'd apparently indulged in her first year. She was pretty, but again, not in a stunning sort of way. Still, something obviously drew me to her.
This story does not reflect well on me, as I definitely sought to take advantage of my influence on her. I think there was some somewhat sick part of me that knew that with my status on campus, her naivety, and my being "outside her league" by most standards, that I'd have some extra control of our relationship. There was a twisted part of me that enjoyed corrupting someone with such a pristine background. Perhaps I deserved what happened, in some strange fulfillment of poetic justice.
While I'd had quite a number of sexual partners, she had had only two before me, both short-lived, and neither involving actual sex. She was obviously hesitant with men, clinging in some ways to her Christian heritage that told her of the evils of pre-marital sex. Still, I could tell she was enamored with me and was eager to please.
Like many college boys, I was also quite involved with internet porn. This interest had led me to find my greatest kink, yet unrealized, which was tease and denial. By the time I met Becky, nearly all of the porn I watched was focused on men being teased, "tortured", denied, and dominated. I wanted more than anything to try this for real. When I met Becky, I thought I may have found someone with whom I could try it. She seemed impressionable, and I believed I could mold her into doing exactly what I wanted.
Anyway, we'd been... whatever it was that we were... for around a month before I broached the subject. I felt that she was firmly under my control by this point, and we'd done quite a few things she'd never done with anyone before.
One day, when we both had a couple of periods free between classes and were fooling around, I decided to go for it. I explained to her the basic concept, and asked if she'd be interested in doing it to me. "So... I'd play with you... pleasure you... but
not
let you cum?" she asked, confusion evident on her face. I was sure it was quite a foreign concept, and that anyone else she'd been with would have wanted exactly the opposite, generally as quick as possible.
"Yes, exactly. Well, you would eventually. But you'd make me wait... make me beg for it. Deny me... and then eventually, when you're ready, make me cum," I explained, getting hard just describing the idea to her. "Do you think you could do that?"
She seemed to consider it for a moment. Then I could see her desire to please me win out. "Yeah... I think I can try. But I want you to write it down for me so I know for sure what you want."
"I can do that!" I quickly agreed, "I'll even do one better, and send you a video that illustrates it."
So later that night I typed up what I wanted. "It's pretty simple really. I want you to tie me up, tease me, do whatever you want to me, drive me crazy, and make me beg to cum. But be cruel... don't let me. Not until I'm beyond desperate. Then you'll finally let me cum, when you decide you... and I... am ready. Basically, just do what the woman in this video does.
I sent her off one of my favorite videos, of a sexy mistress tying down her man, using him for her pleasure, and teasing him for ages. Into the latter part of the video, he begged and begged, but she kept telling him no. At the very end, as such videos usually go, she finally let him. He came what seemed like gallons.
I sent it off to her in an email, feeling extremely excited and a little nervous. Would she agree once she watched the video? Would she even be capable of being "mean" enough and making me wait like that? I doubted it. I would soon find out that I was the one who was truly naïve.
If there was a class on safe BDSM practices, this could be a textbook example of why safewords are so important. I did not take any such class and had no idea of such things.
I must have checked my email a thousand times that night, waiting for a response. It wasn't until hours later that saw her name popup in the list.
"Ok, Barry. I'll do it! It seems like it might be kind of fun. How about this weekend?"
I nearly immediately responded with an emphatic yes.
Friday night couldn't come quickly enough. So of course, it seemed to take about ten times longer than usual. It finally arrived, and with it, Becky. My senior year I moved off campus to an apartment nearby. My roommate was gone that weekend, so it was the perfect time to try out something like this.
Becky wore a dress. It was long enough that it didn't expose a lot of leg, but it was lowcut enough to show off her ample cleavage. She also brought her backpack in with her, which I didn't think much of at the time. We had dinner together, pizza from my favorite local joint. Afterwards, I think we both felt a bit awkward, not knowing how to start. Finally, Becky came over and kissed me. "Are you sure this is what you want?" Her voice shook a little as she asked.
"Yes, absolutely!" I reassured her, and kissed her back.
"Ok, no backing out once we start! You're going to do what I say, right?", she asked with a smile. I nodded quickly, having no idea what I'd just agreed to. I couldn't wait for what would come next. But it wasn't at all what I expected.
"Ok great, let's watch a movie," she suggested.
I was hit with some disappointment. I'd hoped we'd get started right away. Not wanting to dissuade her or make her less confident, I put on a smile and sat down on the couch. I turned on the TV, and fired up the Roku.
While I was messing with that, I saw her go to her backpack out of the corner of my eye. She came back carrying her laptop. "No, no. Not on there. On here," she said, and set the computer on the coffee table in front of us. She clicked around a bit, and then I saw, with more than a little excitement, that she was pulling up the video I'd sent her.
