Once I was out the door, I ran across the stone steps and back towards the car. Stumbling into it, I paused to let the tears finally flow and blur my vision. Gasping and goosebumped, I didn't know if the gusts or my emotions had gotten the better of me. It wasn't until I pulled on the door handle that I realized I no longer had my clutch, much less my keys.
"Fuck!" I shouted. My sobs receded and I could only shake my head at my own stupidity. No sooner had I turned back toward the twinkle-lit house than the door opened to reveal the two men that had both been the bane and the pleasure of my night. I wiped away my tears and swore that I would not complicated the situation any further as they approached.
They both started talking at the same moment, attempting to drown the other one out and they both stopped a moment later. Surely my makeup was smeared and my hair was frizzy, but neither of them were looking at my head. Instead, they were both focused on my shoulder - the one that was still sore from Benji's bites. Even though I didn't need to, I glanced down to see that my sleeve had slipped back down to reveal a large portion of the wine colored blotch. So much for stopping the complications.
Benjamin stepped in front of Carson and adjusted the sleeve and then moved to stand beside me.
"I can take it from here, Carson. Thanks for your concern," Benjamin said.
Carson ignored him completely. "Did he hurt you? Did he grab you?"
Well, there's a complicated question. Did it hurt? Yes. Did he do it? Yes. Did it turn me the hell on? Yes.
"He didn't grab me. I swear it's okay," I tried to assure him. Carson's green eyes surveyed me for a moment. In the dark, the hickey had to look like a bruise. It wouldn't be hard to assume that Benjamin was abusing me. But then he tilted his head and seemed satisfied with my explanation.
"I saw you leave, I was going to try to catch you when I ran into Ben."
Ben interjected, "You left your purse upstairs." He held the silver clutch out to me and I took it.
"Right. Thanks," was all I could manage to say. We all stood wordlessly until I finally announced that I was going to get going.
"Drive safe," Ben said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my forehead. I couldn't decide if I was more comforted or agitated. He took a pair of steps before turning around, apparently waiting for Carson to walk away with him.
"I'm actually leaving too. Thanks for hosting. You have a lovely home," Carson said.
I could tell that Ben was aggravated, but they shook hands and said goodnight. I unlocked my door with the remote and Carson opened the door before I had a chance.
"Thanks." I turned to say goodbye, but was greeted with his disarming stare and said nothing. He raised his hand to my shoulder, just short of Benji's mark. He stared at the sleeve that hid it and rubbed circles onto my skin with his thumb.
"Consensual?" he asked.
"Consensual," I answered. "Stupid, but consensual."
He nodded. "You're shivering." With that, he took off his jacket and swaddled it around me.
"Thanks. Again." When the little white lights behind him were blurry again, I realized that the tears had returned. "I should go. I've taken up enough of your time."
"Emmeline, you looked really upset when you you walked out. That's why I followed you. They say distracted driving can be as bad as drunk driving. Are you sure you're up to driving?"
It was hard to deny my level of distraction when I was looking at him with a cotton candy tinted nose and leaky eyes. "I don't know, probably not. But I can't stay here."
"Let me drive you home," he said.
My first instinct was to say no. I could take care of myself, call a taxi. But that would mean coming back for my car, to Benjamin's house, and that prospect seemed even less desirable.
"Are you sure? I'll pay for your taxi back here."
"It'd be my pleasure."
I nodded and smiled and said thank you. Again. Carson was certainly chivalrous, walking around the car with me just to open up the door. As we drove away, I resisted the urge to look back at the house - knowing how likely I was to see Benjamin looking back at me.
***
I offered directions to my home - which for the moment was a sad little hotel that I could stay at for a few weeks without losing my savings. It wasn't that I didn't have friends to stay with, it was that I hadn't talked much to most of them during my year of exile and I didn't think the best way to reintroduce myself was to ask for a place to crash.
Carson took one look at the place and said, "You're not staying here."
"Just until I find a place. I start work again next week. It won't be for too long. Besides, it's not that bad," I said.
"Emmeline, there is a drug deal going down in that car." I looked where he had indicated, a few cars away. If Cops was anything to go by, a drug deal had indeed just taken place.
"It's less shady during the day," I managed.
"Well then, that's when you should come back. Would you feel comfortable staying with me tonight?" he asked. "I have a guest room," he added.
This time my first instinct was yes. It had been so long since I had been taken care of and my rendezvous with Benji had left me craving the attention. It didn't feel like another dumb decision though, it felt like the right one. "Okay."
Carson smiled and drove toward downtown. He lived in a high-rise loft that was perfectly clean and simply furnished. While the furniture was modern and sleek, the art was made up of framed rock band posters and old world maps. Needless to say, the mixture managed to make him even more attractive.
He showed me the guest room and bath that had an impressive array of toiletries. "Entertain often?" I teased.
"I like to be prepared," he said without irony. "You'll need something to sleep in. Wanna borrow a shirt?"
I nodded and he led the way to his bedroom. Walking into the room, I couldn't take my eyes off of his bed. Larger than a king and up to my rib cage, it was held in place my four tiers of elegantly carved redwood. I found myself wondering if it had restraint straps hidden beneath it.
