Chapter Five
Elle stood in the open doorway and leaned against the wooden frame, listening to the soft whispers of his voice as he spoke on his cell phone.
She had rested well from their intense scene of the previous day, although her marked body still ached and her mind was suffering the emotional whiplash that many within their circle referred to as 'subdrop'. She had relinquished her soul to him during that time in the dungeon, and had allowed him access to parts of her psyche that demanded total trust and absolute reliance. She knew it was her last opportunity to do so, and she had offered herself willingly.
Although she worshipped him with her very soul, Elle was an intelligent and sensitive creature, she knew the ramifications of her undiluted submission and the time was coming where dissolution would be the only way forward. In her highly emotional state, it was hammered home as she listened to his call.
"Look", he said, with a hint of frustration. "I'll be there in just a few days and we'll discuss it then".
His tone was sharp and he rolled his eyes, trying not to be pulled into an argument with the caller.
"Just give the boy a hug for me please" he continued, pausing briefly to listen to the reply. "Yes, I know...as I said, by the end of the week I'll be there.... okay... I have to go.... yes, yes, you too."
He finished his call and threw the cell with a little more violence than necessary onto the soft leather chair in the living room, emitting a slight growl as he turned to the doorway and smiled.
"Did you sleep well princess?" he said, taking a step towards her.
She nodded but remained still. Reaching her with two long strides he raised his hand and gently caressed her face, sensing her unrest.
"Elle..."
He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak just as she raised her finger to his lips. She said nothing, for fear that if she did, she would beg him to stay, beg him to turn his back on the rest of world and just stay with her, locked in their own private space, never to be disturbed by the unruly outside influences of reality.
He took her hand and removed her finger from his lips.
"We have to discuss it Elle, I know you don't want to, but we have to... it has to be said".
He led her to the sofa and sat her down, taking extra care to ensure her bottom and the backs of her legs rested comfortably against the leather. He had soothed her with calming natural lotions after their scene, but he knew her pale sensitive skin would still be flushed with angry red marks where his crop had bitten into her flesh.
He smoothed her hair with his fingers, delicately brushing it from her watering brown eyes.
"I'm so sorry" he stated, with more emotion in his voice than he intended "but we knew this was going to happen, it was only a matter of time, I'm such a fool Elle... I should never have..."
"Fallen in love with me..." she said simply.
"Yes...I didn't mean to Elle. We didn't mean to. But we did, and now the time has come..." he could hardly bring himself to say the words. "I have to go back, my time here has ended, my exams are finished, and there is no other choice".
"There is always a choice, Sir" she said with a slight hint of bitterness in her voice.
"No Elle, not this time, please don't...but maybe..."
"Please don't, what? Maybe what?" she snapped, interrupting him without thought for recourse.
"Please don't ask you to stay? Please don't ask you to leave your wife and son for the one woman in your entire life who you have ever truly loved...maybe there will be a way? Maybe we can remain friends?"
She shook with involuntary anger. She knew that this day would come, but she had always subconsciously expected him to remain in Detroit, with her, once his exams were over, especially as the hospital had offered him a permanent position as a staff surgeon. He had turned them down, in favour of a post in his home town, some three thousand miles away.
"Do not speak to me like that Elle, remember your manners" he gently responded, allowing her grace for her emotional state of mind.
"Do you want me to beg my release Sir" she retorted, totally ignoring him "is that what you want?"
"Elle, you know the answer to that" he said, trying to hold his patience with her.
Her hand flew to her throat and tugged on the silver choker that was locked in place around neck. It had been there for a little over two years, and was her most treasured possession. The thought of being without it symbolised being without him.
He grabbed her hand and firmly brought it back to her side.
"Elle, calm down, right now" he warned, his patience wearing thin, "I know that this is my fault, and I accept full responsibility for this situation, I assure you."
He took a breath and continued "you are mine Elle, my responsibility, and my submissive. Mine to protect physically, emotionally and in all other ways, do you understand that?"
She nodded but couldn't comprehend his words, if she was his, then why was he leaving her?
"I love you Elle, Jesus... you have no idea how much I love you, how much you complete my life. I have never felt like this for any other woman, you have to trust in that. These last few years have been like some beautiful dance and only you know the next steps".
He blinked back his own tears as he stared at her lovely face, her eyes full of anger and sadness.
"She can't do that for me, she has never been able to, and yes, you know I do love her in a totally different way, she is the mother of my son, if I don't go back Elle..."
He stumbled over his own words, realising the enormity of the sacrifice he had forced upon the only woman that he truly did adore. He couldn't bear it, the thought of leaving her behind as a martyr for his cause.
