Chapter Five
Elle stood in the open doorway and leaned against the wooden frame, listening to the soft whispers of his voice as he spoke on his cell phone.
She had rested well from their intense scene of the previous day, although her marked body still ached and her mind was suffering the emotional whiplash that many within their circle referred to as 'subdrop'. She had relinquished her soul to him during that time in the dungeon, and had allowed him access to parts of her psyche that demanded total trust and absolute reliance. She knew it was her last opportunity to do so, and she had offered herself willingly.
Although she worshipped him with her very soul, Elle was an intelligent and sensitive creature, she knew the ramifications of her undiluted submission and the time was coming where dissolution would be the only way forward. In her highly emotional state, it was hammered home as she listened to his call.
"Look", he said, with a hint of frustration. "I'll be there in just a few days and we'll discuss it then".
His tone was sharp and he rolled his eyes, trying not to be pulled into an argument with the caller.
"Just give the boy a hug for me please" he continued, pausing briefly to listen to the reply. "Yes, I know...as I said, by the end of the week I'll be there.... okay... I have to go.... yes, yes, you too."
He finished his call and threw the cell with a little more violence than necessary onto the soft leather chair in the living room, emitting a slight growl as he turned to the doorway and smiled.
"Did you sleep well princess?" he said, taking a step towards her.
She nodded but remained still. Reaching her with two long strides he raised his hand and gently caressed her face, sensing her unrest.
"Elle..."
He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak just as she raised her finger to his lips. She said nothing, for fear that if she did, she would beg him to stay, beg him to turn his back on the rest of world and just stay with her, locked in their own private space, never to be disturbed by the unruly outside influences of reality.
He took her hand and removed her finger from his lips.
"We have to discuss it Elle, I know you don't want to, but we have to... it has to be said".
He led her to the sofa and sat her down, taking extra care to ensure her bottom and the backs of her legs rested comfortably against the leather. He had soothed her with calming natural lotions after their scene, but he knew her pale sensitive skin would still be flushed with angry red marks where his crop had bitten into her flesh.
He smoothed her hair with his fingers, delicately brushing it from her watering brown eyes.
"I'm so sorry" he stated, with more emotion in his voice than he intended "but we knew this was going to happen, it was only a matter of time, I'm such a fool Elle... I should never have..."
"Fallen in love with me..." she said simply.
"Yes...I didn't mean to Elle. We didn't mean to. But we did, and now the time has come..." he could hardly bring himself to say the words. "I have to go back, my time here has ended, my exams are finished, and there is no other choice".
"There is always a choice, Sir" she said with a slight hint of bitterness in her voice.
"No Elle, not this time, please don't...but maybe..."
"Please don't, what? Maybe what?" she snapped, interrupting him without thought for recourse.
"Please don't ask you to stay? Please don't ask you to leave your wife and son for the one woman in your entire life who you have ever truly loved...maybe there will be a way? Maybe we can remain friends?"
She shook with involuntary anger. She knew that this day would come, but she had always subconsciously expected him to remain in Detroit, with her, once his exams were over, especially as the hospital had offered him a permanent position as a staff surgeon. He had turned them down, in favour of a post in his home town, some three thousand miles away.
"Do not speak to me like that Elle, remember your manners" he gently responded, allowing her grace for her emotional state of mind.
"Do you want me to beg my release Sir" she retorted, totally ignoring him "is that what you want?"
"Elle, you know the answer to that" he said, trying to hold his patience with her.
Her hand flew to her throat and tugged on the silver choker that was locked in place around neck. It had been there for a little over two years, and was her most treasured possession. The thought of being without it symbolised being without him.
He grabbed her hand and firmly brought it back to her side.
"Elle, calm down, right now" he warned, his patience wearing thin, "I know that this is my fault, and I accept full responsibility for this situation, I assure you."
He took a breath and continued "you are mine Elle, my responsibility, and my submissive. Mine to protect physically, emotionally and in all other ways, do you understand that?"
She nodded but couldn't comprehend his words, if she was his, then why was he leaving her?
"I love you Elle, Jesus... you have no idea how much I love you, how much you complete my life. I have never felt like this for any other woman, you have to trust in that. These last few years have been like some beautiful dance and only you know the next steps".
He blinked back his own tears as he stared at her lovely face, her eyes full of anger and sadness.
"She can't do that for me, she has never been able to, and yes, you know I do love her in a totally different way, she is the mother of my son, if I don't go back Elle..."
He stumbled over his own words, realising the enormity of the sacrifice he had forced upon the only woman that he truly did adore. He couldn't bear it, the thought of leaving her behind as a martyr for his cause.
He had always been honest with her. She knew the full situation of his personal circumstances, almost from those first few words that were exchanged between them. He had never intended to actually fall for her, but she was so beautiful, so stubborn, so independent and he could see the damage behind her large sorrowful eyes.
He had wanted her immediately, recognising the signs of a natural submissive that hid behind the strength of her femininity. He vividly remembered the day that she had agreed to become his, the feeling that swelled in his chest as he locked the choker in place around her slender neck, on bended knee. What the hell did he think he was doing? Following his heart, living for the moment, only to cause her such pain with his inevitable departure.
This was never just an affair to him. Even on the occasions where he had returned home for brief periods, to see his son, realising during those short trips how much he was growing up and how soon his small boy wouldn't even recognise his own father. The child that he simply would not leave behind.
Elle rose from the sofa, tears streaming down her face, unable to look at him for a moment longer. He reached for her and tugged her back to him but she physically resisted and stared in defiance at his shocked expression. She rarely disobeyed him, more because she hated to see his look of disappointment.
Her sole purpose was to please him, fulfill him, and serve him, as that was the one thing that made her whole, it was what had been missing for her entire adult life until the day she had met him. She had found her soul mate, and he had found his. Only fate had a different ending and that was the irony of life.
"Sit down Elle," he warned as he firmly took hold of her arm.
She just stared at him and remained disobedient.
"Elle, please, not today, don't...."
He almost pleaded with her not to push him any further; he didn't want their parting words to be that of punishment and anger.
"Please, princess..."
Her mind was racing as she remained standing, pushing and testing his limits beyond any action she had ever taken before, almost begging for punishment with her sheer insolence.
If he wanted her, he would have to force her, her emotions and the strength of her independence had taken a firm hold, one that she had not felt since before they met. He used to love that about her, and she wanted to see how far she could test his patience before his natural dominance and the nature of their dynamic took over this situation.
She needed him to still care enough, she desperately wanted to push his levels of tolerance further than she ever had before, so he could prove to her that she was still his, that she would always be his, even with the vast distance that would soon force them apart.
She stared with tear-filled eyes as she pulled away from him, and turned her back, walking slowly and purposefully towards the door.
"Enough!" he shouted, raising quickly to his feet and reaching her with two long strides.
She turned to face him and immediately lowered her gaze at the sight of the anger flashing behind eyes of blue steel.
"Unless you beg your release Elle right now, you are still my submissive and I will not have you behaving like a brat!"
He took her arm and firmly marched her to the corner of the room, spinning her around to face the wall and in a swift movement, before she had even realised what he was doing, he held both of her slender wrists with one strong hand and cuffed them behind her back.
