I'd just returned home to my new apartment. It was September, but chilly, and had been pouring. I left my boots on and traipsed to the kitchen to start putting my groceries away.
Ding!
I looked at my phone. Normally, I would've just let the message go until later, but it was
him.
I picked it up and swiped it open to read, "I'm here." It was from the man I'd been exchanging messages with for a few months. My life as a grad student in the middle of a divorce had not yet allowed proper time for us to meet, but he had remained patient and not pushy. How could he possibly be at my place!? I hadn't told him where I moved to! I panicked a bit, slightly terror stricken, but mostly just shocked. I knew he would never hurt me, and he had joked many times about showing up unexpectedly, but he couldn't possibly be at my place. Could he?
I crept over to my front door and peered through the peep hole. There he was. I backed up. I glanced at myself in the mirror above the foyer table. I looked terrible, wet hair matted to my face, mascara running down my cheeks from the rain. I hadn't eaten properly in days nor had a decent night's sleep in weeks. The stress of my semester and impending divorce showed heavily on my face. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't let him just stand there. I knew he had no intentions of harming me, I just didn't expect this. I took a deep breath, and reluctantly opened the door.
"Well, hello. Would you like to come in then? The place looks like a bomb went off, sorry." He was standing there, as wet as I was, intently staring through my eyes. He said nothing, but put his hand on my shoulder and led me back inside. He closed the door behind him, but didn't lock it. That relieved me quite a bit. I removed my soaking wet pea coat and hung it up, kicking some boxes out of the way. "Can I take your coat for you?"
He took it off, but instead folded it over the top of the bar stool at my counter-"Don't worry, I won't be here long."
"How did you ev-" He put his finger up to my lips. He looked at me sternly, then said, "Take your shirt off." Sensing my hesitation, he looked me square in the eye and said, "
Now,
please."
I started to peel my wet shirt up, but he stopped me as soon as it was over my face. He grabbed my crossed wrists and put his hand on the side of my ribcage, right over the band of my bra. His thumb was rocking back and forth on my skin above it, threatening to move into my armpit. He knows I'm incredibly ticklish. It's what drives him. He's a methodical practitioner of sensory exploration.
He moved his thumb up further. I was squirming. He released my wrists. I felt his fingertips across the top of my breasts, dancing along the curvature and crevice. Then, nothing. I stood there with my wet shirt over my face, unable to see, arms bound by the fabric. I was unable to see, but I heard everything as clear as a bell.