Doras Dilemma

I walked into the café and quietly sat down at my usual table. Tonight I was down in the dumps. It was the day for lovers. The day I hated most out of the year. This day brought so many feelings. It brought loss, sadness, anger, and even yearning. Tonight I was pissed. Paul was still free. He had even moved on. He was getting married again. 'Poor girl,' I thought. I thought of telling her what Paul was, but she would not believe me. No one did, so why should she.

I don't know what brought me here. I should stay away from here when in these moods. I didn't want Mike to know that I was upset. I hated to see the look of concern in his eyes. I knew he loved me. Have known it the past three years since the day I took my revenge out on Paul. That day he had revealed his feelings. Mike had asked me to be his wife.

I had told him that I was not ready for commitment. I had expected him to get mad. Demand something, but no. All he did was say, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait."

That day I accepted that I really loved Mike. I also realized that I wanted him in my life. I also learned I was afraid. What made me afraid? Being hurt, or hurting him. I didn't think that I was what he needed.

Our relationship had changed that might. I no longer slept with him. I wanted him to move on. I still came around and ate at the diner. I still hung out with him. I just didn't sleep with him. Oh, he tried to get me into his bed. He tried at least once weekly. I just refused. I could tell this puzzled him. He tried to get me to talk, but I refused. Eventually he just gave up getting me to talk to him about what was wrong.

"What can I get you today Dora?" Marie asked.

"Just a beer, I'm not hungry tonight," I replied.

She got this odd look at that. She knew me and it was very seldom I was not hungry. She kept quiet though and went to get me my imported beer. I saw when I walked up that Mike was not there. I hoped he had a date after all tonight and was on it. Marie dashed my hopes when she brought me my beer.

"Here you go. Mike should be back soon. He stepped out for a few minutes said he needed to pick up something," she revealed.

'Damn,' "Okay, thanks" I wondered if I should just pay for the beer and walk the two blocks home before he got back.

I laid down the money and tip. Well the Fates were against me tonight. Just then, someone started playing Terry Gibbs's song 'Somebody's Knocking.'

Lord it's the devil would you look at him

I looked up and in walked Mike. 'DAMN, of all my luck!' To make matters worse he was carrying flowers and chocolates. He looked at me; all I could think of was that I must look like a deer in deadlights. I stood up, muttered something about an emergency, and tried to skid past him. I thought it had worked when I reached the door, but his voice stopped me dead in my tracks. The tone that I can't resist came out of his mouth. The one that makes my heart melt and sink all at once. It is the hurt tone. The one I heard three years ago tonight. The one he used when he said, "I'll wait."

"Baby Doll, don't go, stay. I need to speak to you, please," Mike said in the hurt tone.

All my feelings hit me at once. Fear, hurt, loneliness, love.

Well somebody's talking

He's whispering to me,

Your place or my place well which will it be,

I'm getting weaker, and he's coming on strong,

But I don't wanta go wrong.

'Damn there's that song again.' Damn Eros, he was not making this easy! What do you expect out of a Greek God that runs around naked? Of course, this being his day he would not make it easy. Earlier that day I had started hearing his voice in my head. That is why I was down here wanting a beer! I hoped that it would make him go away!

He must have tapped my telephone line

He must have known I'm spending my time alone

He says we'll have one heavenly night

My fever's burning so he ought to be right at home.

"Shut up Eros. I don't need any of your help!" I muttered to the God of love, Eros or as some knew him by, Cupid.

All I got was a giggle and yet more lyrics. Damn, I hate the Gods. Sometimes they just don't play fair. I hazarded a look back and saw that look. The one I hated to see. The one that said I had hurt him.

I turned around and fully faced Mike. I stood there and looked at him. I tried to walk away, but instead I walked into his waiting arms.

I heard Eros say, "Yep she let him in," with satisfaction in his voice.

ARGGG I wanted to kill me a Greek God! "Fuck you, Eros. Haven't you messed up my life enough?"

"You couldn't handle fucking a God like me." Eros twisted what I said.

I decided to "try" to ignore him. Have you ever ignored a Greek God who had decided that you were the next person he was going to torment? Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. They NEVER let you. Of all the Gods, and Goddesses out there, why was Eros the one that noticed me? Hell, I would have been happier if Zeus would have talked to me. I would have asked him to zap Paul with lightning. However, I was stuck with the God of love. The last God I wanted to meet or in this case have in my head talking to me. I made a mental note that maybe I needed some psychiatric help. Either that or somebody spiked my beer.

"No one spiked your beer. At least not yet, and you are not crazy. I'm having fun talking to you. I haven't had this much fun in several hundreds of years. I have been laying low and watching what has been going on. I just think you have had a bad experience in love, and you need to get over it, and give this guy a chance. He really loves you. If he didn't, why would he still be waiting three years later?" Eros read my mind.

I decided that maybe if I didn't respond to him, he would leave me alone. Instead, I pulled away from Mike and looked at him.

"What can I do?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Mike gave me a long searching look and responded, "You know what you can do. I still want you to be my wife."

"Say yes! Say yes! Give the poor boy a break! I'm sure he has blue balls by now. He only gets off occasionally at the BDSM club. He hasn't dated in over three years. Don't you know he has loved you since before your divorce from Paul? Why do you think he let you cry on his shoulder all those nights, instead of drinking with your ex?" Eros implored.

Sheesh, you would think that the God of Love would have other things to do tonight besides bug me. Hell, why isn't he out shooting people with his arrows and wearing diapers?

"First, I DO NOT wear diapers. Second, I don't feel like using my arrows right now. I already did that today. I made two enemies fall in love. That will be one relationship worth watching," Eros responded with mischief.

"I don't know. Hell I don't know anything any more, but that I still love you," I said before catching myself.

For once Eros was quiet, too quiet.

"Hey, boss. Dora skipped dinner tonight. Is something wrong with her? She doesn't skip dinner," Marie blabbed on me.

"You're in trouble now! Hmmmm, I'll have to make sure Marie gets laid tonight. Such a good girl," Eros laughed.

"You had something to do with her tattling on me, didn't you?" I steamed to Eros!

All I heard was Eros laughing his ass off. Yep he was definitely mischievous.

"Well, I ate at home. I just wanted a beer," I lied.

"Thanks Marie, I'll see that she eats," Mike said; he didn't believe my lie.

"Sure boss," Marie responded with a smile.

"Dora, you are going to eat. You are skinny enough as it is. You are losing too much weight it doesn't look like you have eaten in days. Now go sit down and eat!" Mike commanded me.

"Yes, Sir," I gave up.

I walked over to the table as Mike walked up to the counter and ordered a breakfast platter for me. Why did that tone always make me obey him? Well, it usually succeeded, but it hadn't worked on bringing me back to his bed. I downed the last of my beer and wondered if silver bullets or a cross and stake would kill an immortal God?

"No such luck, you can't kill me. I am one of the oldest Gods. They tried that when Atlantis sank to the bottom of the ocean, but as you can see, I'm still here. No one can kill love." Eros answered my unspoken question.

"Oh, go play with Psyche or Anteros! Leave me be," I muttered. Maybe garlic would work?

'Damn him,' I thought. 'I wish he would leave me alone. I don't need love. All it does is cause pain. Where has love gotten me I ask? Nowhere that's where!''

I watched Mike set the vase of roses down on the counter in front of him. It looked to be two dozen of roses red, yellow, white, and pink. Hell there were even a couple of blue ones in there. That had to have cost a pretty penny. The box of chocolates looked like a two pound box, at least. I knew I buy chocolate a lot. I wondered who was going to get them. Some part of me was jealous at the idea of someone else getting the gifts.

Deep down, I knew. I sat there and watched him. He would look over at me once in a while and smile. I felt my heart melt. Just then, Eros had to step in again. ARGGG that God was driving me crazy. He started in on another song, this one by Shania Twain "I WON'T LEAVE YOU LONELY". What did the man do, listen to love songs all day?

Together

Midnight in summer

The air's so much warmer

Falling in love under starlight

Holding on so tight

Together"

"Stop, stop it! Please!" I begged.

All it got me was the chorus.

"I won't leave you lonely tonight

I want you to hold me all night

It's gonna be all right

I won't leave you lonely tonight.

I saw Mike's face three years ago in my head, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait."

"I wish you wouldn't. I'm not the one for you. How can you love me? Look at what I have become. Look at what I did to Paul. No sane person would have done that. No you need to move on," I had said right before I walked out of his Café. I hadn't gone back for several weeks.

Why was he doing this? Couldn't he see I didn't want love? Why did I even care? He was going to keep it up anyways. What harm could it do?

"Please have mercy. Why are you trying so hard to get me to say yes to him?" I asked.

"My twin brother Anteros is ready to 'deal' with you for not returning Mike's love. He has given me a chance to help set you straight, before he steps in and does it himself. He isn't as nice as I am. I wouldn't give him the chance to do that. Oh, and there is a small itty-bitty reason that several of us other Gods have for you marring him, but we will go over that later. Nothing to worry about, it is so small that it isn't worth mentioning," Eros explained …

"That's all I need; two Gods of love in my head. I don't see how he could be worse then you though. Another thing, any time someone says that something is not worth mentioning it usually is very big, not 'itty bitty'. Who are the 'other Gods' that are involved?" I complained.

"Just try me, my dear. If you think my brother is bad with love songs, you haven't heard anything yet. Who do you think taught him those songs? Time is running out Eros. Have you lost your touch? Do your arrows not work any more?" Anteros revealed himself.

"They work just fine. I am simple trying to get her to see reason. She already loves the poor sap. We just need to get her out of denial. Furthermore, Apollo and the Muses are the one that taught us about love songs," Eros retorted.

"Ha! As if, I knew this stuff before they did. That is just what they want everyone to believe," Anteros argued.

"Hello! I asked a question! Who else is involved? Okay I am going crazy here. I am talking to a couple of OLD Gods that haven't been around in about 1500 years. Dora, get a grip, too many beers. You have been researching your ancestry way too much and need to stop believing that those Greek Gods of your family are real," I demanded.

"All will be showed to you when the time is right. You aren't insane, and we are not OLD; okay we are, but not like you meant it. I will tell you one thing now though. You are from a very old Greek family, as you believe, but much older then you think," Anteros declared.

I decided that first thing in the morning I was checking myself into an insane asylum. One God in my head I was willing to look past, but two were just too many. I wandered if someone had slipped some LSD in my beer.

"Here you go baby doll. I want you to eat it all!" Mike announced.

I looked up to see Mike standing there with a tray of food, the vase of roses, and the box of chocolates.

"Are roses safe to eat?" Anteros inquired.

"I think he meant the food and the chocolates, numbskull!" Eros corrected.

"What do chocolates taste like?" Anteros asked.

"I think it is a kin to our ambrosia. Women kill men over it, or at least that is the way some men act like," Eros answered.

"Ahhh … but isn't that a lot to eat at once? Why would women kill for chocolate?" Anteros replied.

"Yes, I do not see how she will be able to eat all that food plus two pounds of chocolate. It's kind of like Grandpa with a good steak. You know how Zeus is about red meat. Need I remind you about how furious Gramps got when Prometheus tricked him into getting bones instead of meat?" Eros stated.

"Ah, yes, I get it. I wouldn't want to get between Grandpa and a steak for nothing! If women are the same way with chocolate, I'd watch my balls when keeping them away from chocolate!" Anteros shivered.

"I think most sane men don't try. I think that is why they bring women chocolates on Valentine's Day," Eros replied.

Seeing the wisdom of the Gods' statement, I ask Mike, "How do you expect me to eat all that? The food I may be able to get down, I might even be able to eat a couple pieces of chocolate, but there ain't no way I can eat them flowers!"

"Sheesh, you know what I meant! Woman, you are going to drive me insane!" Mike exclaimed.

"Drive you insane? Try being in my head for the past few hours. I'm going insane and believe me it is quite fascinating! I am starting to believe that someone slipped me some LSD. I wish those Gods would stop with the sappy love songs though," I blurted.

"Should I even ask? Do I really want to know? No, don't tell me. I think I am better off not knowing! Something tells me that I will need to sit down for that one," Mike asked and answered himself.

"Smart guy, he's a keeper," Anteros commented.

"Yep that is why mom and Apollo are so insistent on him being with her. Think we should start singing again?" Eros asked.

'I really wish you wouldn't,' I thought back, deciding not to ask about "Mom and Apollo." Any time I asked something, they give me more information then what I wanted to know. In this case, ignorance is bliss I decided.

Mike sat the tray down, "I have some paper work and stuff to finish up before I leave for the night. Stay here! I want to drive you home. I am NOT taking no for an answer tonight. Don't try me tonight. It has been far too long since you have had a good spanking, and tonight I am in just such a mood! We are going to talk and you are going finally to tell me what is keeping you from my bed and from being my wife. You already told me you still love me."

"OOOO, he is kinky. I like him. Maybe we should spy on them later. We might learn a few new tricks," Anteros responded.

"You better not spy on me! Being in my head is bad enough; stay out of my bedroom! I'll cut your nuts off and feed them to you if you do!" I threaten.

All I got from that was a roar of laughter from two egotistical Gods. I decided that I was better off staying put. I picked up my fork and dug in. While eating, the Gods of love decided that I needed some music. They started in on another one of my favorite songs "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias. This time I decided to stay quiet. Besides, I found that I was hungry after all.

"Hey good selection, Euterpe keep those songs coming," Anteros commented.

The Muse of music and lyric poetry, was she in on this too? Why couldn't I get Melpomene the Muse of Tragedy to side with me? For that matter, I needed Athena on my side. If I had to have these Gods in my head, I needed help. I needed Athena in my court. She was the Goddess of wisdom, not to mention she was a virgin Goddess. She would understand my side. Even if in most cases, she sided with the man or the husband, I was only trying to save him from being hurt, not hurt him.

Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?

Would you run and never look back?

Would you cry, if you saw me crying'?

And would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?

Would you laugh?

Oh, please tell me this

Now would you die for the one you loved?

Hold me in your arms tonight.

The Gods were not being too nice to me tonight. I didn't want love songs. I wanted to get drunk and not remember tonight. Instead, I had two Gods that had way too much free time singing to me. One was bad enough, now both were in on it. Maybe someone needed to hit them with their own arrows. Where was Psyche when you needed her, and I had no idea who to tempt Anteros with. I think they both needed some ass. Maybe I could get Athena or even Zeus to scare those two away, but knowing my luck there was more to this scene then what I was seeing.

"Now she has a good idea. Do you know the last time Psyche let me have her ass? That was about a thousand years ago. She said it would be the last time too. I was a bit long winded that time," Eros suggested.

"I don't want to hear about your love life. It is bad enough that I overhear these mortals love lives when I venture down from Mount Olympus. I just wish you would put on some clothes sometimes," Anteros said.

"Me wear clothes, what about you? You haven't worn clothes since the day Mom made the mistake by saying your tunic reminded her of a dress," Eros countered.

I then heard yet another voice, this time all I heard was a feminine giggle. I thought about screaming right now. Instead, I told a passing Marie to get me another beer, this time leave out the LSD! She got this weird look and headed off to get me the beer. She came back with the beer and handed it to me. She ignored my LSD comment.

"Mom, stay out of this. We can handle this without your help! Being the Goddess of Love doesn't mean you need to butt in," Anteros objected.

"Hey! I didn't need your help either! I was doing just fine without it," Eros whined.

'How much do I owe you?" I asked handing her a twenty.

"Nothing, boss said it was on him," Marie replied.

"I'm not going anywhere! I think it is time for me to have some fun too. Besides I need to make sure you two boys are behaving," Aphrodite replied.

I sat there and willed the arguing Gods into silence. This was way too much! It must have worked, because for about the next twenty minutes they refrained from talking or singing. I wanted to dance for joy, but had no desire to draw attention to myself, or to give them an excuse to sing. Knowing those two, they would do it too. However, the one controlling the damn jukebox was not stopping with her selections. At one point, I caught myself right before I asked if they were still there, but judging from the sappy love songs still playing they were.

While I sat there in silence, I wondered how it was that I could hear Gods and Goddess in my head. The only thing I could come up with was the fact that I am from a very old Greek family possibly from Atlantis or older, I have ESP, and somehow this part of it was now coming out.