Our marriage had reached the point that we were heading for a divorce. Tom came home from work, read the paper, and watched TV. I didn't do much more than that myself. Our lovemaking had become very mechanical and we rarely had sex. In a series of visits to a highly recommended family therapist he suggested that we work on improving our sex life by consulting an expert in that area. "We have to do something about sex", I told Tom. "It isn't fun anymore and I don't want to fool around outside of our marriage to get laid. Let's see a sex therapist for advice."
We had several visits with Dr. Lorraine Kennedy, who was supposed to be an expert on repairing bad sexual relations. She saw us separately, giving us detailed attitude forms to fill out, and asking questions about what turned us on or off sexually, what we thought of each other's lovemaking, etc. Then she interviewed us together. After all that she had us come in for a meeting and said, "I think you might try introducing role reversal into your marriage - it could really spice things up. By that I mean letting Adrienne take charge of things for a while. You might even take turns as to who is in control."
I felt a sudden thrill as she mentioned my taking charge of things. Maybe I had that feeling buried down deep and her words brought it out. Tom turned off on her and uttered his usual clever comment when he has nothing to say, "bullshit." I prevailed on Tom to hear Dr. Kennedy out. She explained that, in most American marriages, men are accustomed to being the boss in almost every activity and that a change to having a woman take control often arouses both partners. The granting of control to the usually submissive partner by the one who is normally dominant is called a "power exchange." It is not coerced or forced - it is consensual.
When we got home Tom exploded, "that woman is full of shit - leave it up to a cunt to push something like role reversal. What she needs is a good fuck!" I finally put it to Tom that nothing else we tried had restored our sex life to what it was when we first started living together, "If we don't try something like Doctor Kennedy suggested it seems to me that our marriage will just go down the tubes." I went to bed and let him stew in his own juices downstairs. The following morning Tom voiced his discomfort with the idea of giving me control of our relationship, but he said he was willing to try Dr. Kennedy's advice if it would save our marriage.
Dr. Kennedy sent us some literature to read and scheduled us for another visit to her office. I must say that Tom was a real trooper: he kept his end of the bargain although he hated "this dominant female crap." Dr. Kennedy discussed a number of things we could try. (I could see poor Tom gulp when some of them were described.) Included were things like using restraints on Tom and having him do all sorts of things at my command and punishment if he didn't do as he was told. One technique that intrigued me was for me to penetrate him (contrary to the usual case) by using a dildo up his ass. Tom looked very uneasy at the thought of having me fuck him in the ass.
Dr. Kennedy stressed a gradual and safe approach in order for all this to work. She said that anal sex must be very carefully performed at first: no rough pushing past tight muscles that surround the anus until one learns to relax those muscles. Another example of safe domination practice was that any scenario using restraints must be very carefully performed since Tom might well panic if he finds his movements restricted. The trick for restraint play (and any domination scenario) is for Tom to have a "safeword." When Tom says that word all domination activity ceases immediately, all restraints are released, etc. Tom and I later agreed that his safeword would be "mercy." Later I wondered how that would work if he were gagged (a common bondage thing) and he couldn't say anything. I made a note to call Dr. Kennedy with that question.
Tom and I finally negotiated our first scene. He would be restrained from using his hands because they would be fastened to a belt around his waist. But he would be able to move around and use his feet - much less restrictive than a scene such as having him spread-eagled with his hands and feet completely restrained. He would have to do as I ordered, the punishment being one or more whacks with a paddle. I worked out a domination scene in detail but refused to tell him any of that in advance. "Don't worry, Tom," I said. "I'll take care of you." I don't think he liked the way I said that.
The day for our first domination session was a beautiful Fall day. We had our usual breakfast together. I told Tom that I was going to get supplies and that, upon my arrival back at 1:00 PM, he was to be dressed in sport clothes but with no underwear underneath. And he was to follow my commands from the time that I entered; no smalltalk! He gulped but said that he would be ready as I had ordered. I picked up some supplies at a place that sells sex toys and made sure that I pulled up to the house at exactly 1:00 PM.
