I dominate my husband with prostate milkings and strap-on discipline!!!!!!
Now that that's out of the way, a little background information on how we got to this point in our lives.
I am not your typical leather-clad dominatrix that you see on TV. As far as I'm concerned, all that leather is just for show! I am your typical normal, unassuming housewife that you would never expect to be a dominant person to begin with.
I am 5'6" and about 120 lb's. My husband is 5' 11", 190 lb's and has a muscular build. Our relationship started just like any other relationship would start, but somewhere along the way things started to change, and as far as I'm concerned, they changed for the better.
Our sex life was also very "vanilla" and normal. The kinkiest we ever got was when he slapped my ass a few times when we were having sex doggie-style, but that was about it.
Things really started to change when he landed a high-level management position in a new company. Although the money was a lot better, the job was very demanding and the stress level was through the roof.
Often times his stress level would manifest itself at home, and he would often be on edge and very difficult to even have a conversation with, even snapping at me when I tried to talk to him.
This was obviously straining our relationship at home, and making life very difficult. He was unhappy, and so was I. We were constantly at each other's throats.
The answer to our problems came at a most unlikely time. One night when we actually got along long enough to have sex, my mind started to wander about half way through and I started to think about all of the things that had been going on recently in our relationship.
First, I felt a sense of sadness that our relationship was going down the tubes, but then that sadness was replaced by a sense of anger and frustration. My frustrations were building-and-building when suddenly; I lashed out in frustration and gave him a hard slap on the side of his ass cheek. (We were in a missionary position and I was on the bottom)
At first, I hadn't even realized what I had done, but the look on his face as he was staring down at me had confirmed it.
He had a shocked look on his face, and to tell you the truth, I felt a sense of shock and disbelief as well. I couldn't believe that I had done that!! I did the only thing I could think of at the moment and stared directly into his eyes.
We locked eyes for what seemed an eternity, but in reality were probably only ten, or so seconds. He eventually looked away and we continued to have sex, but this event would eventually change everything!
Once we were finished, he actually laid his head on my shoulder and eventually fell asleep. He hadn't showed any affection like that for quite some time! Naturally, I was intrigued and spent the next few days going over the night's events in my head. Meanwhile, everything was pretty much back to our normal, dysfunctional daily routine of very little communication, and constant bickering.
About a week later, we were once again having sex in our normal "vanilla" position of missionary style, when I decided to try and replicate the events of the other night. I was obviously nervous and unsure of what his reaction would be, but I had decided to give it a try anyway.
I really yearned for that little bit of affection he had displayed the other night. Even though we were going through some tough times, I really love and care about him. Besides, how could things get any worse? We were already at each other's throats most of the time.
Once I built up the courage I went for it.
Whaaaaackkkkk!
I gave him a firm, but not terribly hard slap on his right ass cheek. Again, he stopped and stared directly down at me with a look of surprise. Once again I didn't budge and looked directly into his eyes. After a few seconds he looked away and continued to fuck me.
A sense of both relief, and excitement began to flood my body. I was relieved that he didn't flip out, and I was excited because this was kind of erotic in a way.
I waited a few minutes and delivered another one, this time on his left ass cheek.
Whaaaackkkkkk!
This time he didn't look into my eyes, but instead, just kept fucking me. After a few minutes we finished, and sure enough, he laid his head on my shoulder and eventually fell asleep. Neither of us said a word.
Now I knew this wasn't some sort of fluke! These were the only two times in the past couple of months that he showed some affection towards me. Even though it was just a small display of affection, it was still something, and I was desperate to explore it, because I wanted more! So many thoughts were floating around in my head about the recent events, when suddenly; I got a "Eureka" moment if you will.
I know this sounds corny, but I suddenly remembered something about a TV show that I had seen a while back. The show was called "Taxi Cab confessions" and the episode that I had seen was with a lady in the back of a cab talking about how her boyfriend, who is a high level executive likes to be dominated by her.
She went on to describe that she thought it was because he was always the one with the power at work, and his job all day long is to tell people what to do, that when he gets home he likes somebody else to be in-control and tell him what to do for a change. Or something to that affect, from what I remember.
Now, things were starting to make a little more sense to me. Could it be that my husband and I were in the same situation? I mean, we got along well before his new stressful job, and slowly after he got it things started to go downhill. So, I decided to do some investigating. I turned to the Internet for some answers, and I was quite overwhelmed by the amount of information that I was able to find. I was even more surprised to see that this kind of scenario really wasn't that uncommon, and in some cases, even saved the marriages of some couples!
I laughed when I was reading one of the articles that a wife wrote because of the analogy that she used. She said, "A guy's dick is kind of like a stick-shift on a car, you can use it to control him just like you can on a car." In short, she just meant that some guys needed the control. It was really that simple!
I found a lot of valuable information, but the one thing I learned is that not every relationship is going to be the same, so what might work for one, might not work for another. Every relationship is a dynamic situation, and the methods applied are going to vary from one to the other.
So, I decided to give this whole thing a try. All of the articles I read had one thing in common, and that was to take things slow. Slow and steady wins the race.
It took a long time, I would say probably over a year to get to where we are today in our relationship, but now I wear the pants in our house and things have improved tremendously! Like I had mentioned before, different things work for different people, it really depends on the relationship and the people themselves, but after many avenues of approach I found that orgasm denial and strap-on discipline work best for us. I had tried a lot of different things and nothing really yielded the kind of results that I get from the two.
Things started slowly, and progressed from there. During our normal "vanilla" sessions of sex I would wait until he was getting close to cumming and then stop him. I would flip the position so that I was on top and he was on the bottom, so that I could work his cock with my pussy. This is the part that takes a lot of time. During these sessions, I would pay close attention to his reactions and facial expressions as I fucked him.
Do I get a better reaction out of him fucking him slow or hard?
Teasing the head of his cock with pussy before I slide down on his shaft?
How long can I keep him on the edge before he explodes? Etc.....
These are the little details that really matter. Like I said before, everybody is different, so what works for one person may not work for another. It is important to get to know every little nook and cranny of the person, so that you can use this knowledge to your benefit.
As time went on, I really started to get to know his body and all of the subtle twitches and reactions that I had learned about him. His body was basically speaking to me and all I had to do was pay attention and listen. After a while, I probably knew his body better than he did!
Once I knew what to look for and how to work his cock, I started to use it to my advantage. Through my experimentation, I found that when he is in a heightened state of arousal is when he is the most vulnerable. This is usually the time I use to my advantage.
Either I use this time to explain to him what I expect from him in the future, or I sometimes use it to explain to him what he has done wrong and what he should expect as a punishment for it. When he is in this state of heightened arousal, it is like his mind is an open door and everything I tell him gets through.
I almost never get any objections from him when I tell him what to do when he is in this state and when I do, I use my means of discipline to squash that real quickly. (More on that later) I use several methods to get him to this heightened state of arousal. It used to take a while to find that "sweet spot" of arousal, usually a few days of constant teasing, but I have found a way that is a lot less work for me and seems to work wonders on keeping him in that constant state of arousal. It is called a prostate milking.
The prostate milking is really a girl's best friend, in my opinion. Like I said before, it used to take me a long time to try and work him up to a heightened state of arousal. Countless hand jobs and blow jobs without ejaculation over the course of a few days is really what it took.
Don't get me wrong, I still use these methods and enjoying doing them, but the prostate milking is really my favorite way to achieve orgasm denial.