Dog Days Are Beginning Ch 17

Note: The events in this story are purely fantasy. In real life, please show respect and practise safe and consensual sex.

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That night after the Gentleman's Club, the car ride home was quiet. Both Mark Steve were trying to process the events that had unfolded. A debriefing session was probably needed but neither knew how to bring up the conversation. The silence continued once they were both at home. Steve undressed into his usual sub uniform: sub collar, chains, naked, showing off his cage and plug. He sat on the floor beside Mark on the couch, who flipped on the TV to have something to break the silence.

Steve mulled over his thoughts. Was Mark pissed over what had happened when Mr Rashid had asked whose dick was better? What could he have said? He couldn't offend the new client and spoiled deal, and he couldn't be disloyal to his owner. His silence was the only safe bet, and even Mr Rashid had praised him on his diplomacy. Steve sensed the animosity from Mark and all that Mark expected of him: loyalty, submission, restriction, forgoing his own needs in favour of his owner, silence. He could feel the pressure of his work and all they expected of him: obedience, sexual pleasure, efficiency, respect for clients and the putting the business before his own needs. Everything that had happened since the start of this journey, the sacrifice, the changes, the training, the work, the pain, all of it spun around in his head, and yet it was still not enough for others. His work wouldn't be happy if he slipped up with client, his husband wouldn't be happy if he was disloyal. The weight of the expectations crashed down on him and the anxiety of it filled his stomach.

Steve started breathing rapidly, holding himself. He got up, pacing the room and holding his head and stomach.

"Steve what's wrong?" Mark was alert, forgoing any pretence of their Dom/sub arrangement.

"Mark," Steve was only able to say his husband's name over and over, unable to form a sentence or process a thought as he stared at the ground while pacing, the chains clinking noisily.

Mark got up, holding onto Steve, laying a reassuring hand on his head and back.

"I don't know what's wrong," Steve finally managed to say, his breathing rapid, accepting Mark's warm embrace.

"It's ok it's ok it's ok, shhhhh," Mark held his husband.

"Get these off me. I need these off," Steve unclasped the collar and the restraints and chains around him.

"Of course," Mark helped him to remove them. The clattered to the floor. "Come sit," Mark brought him to the couch, grabbing a throw and wrapping it around his husband. "It's alright, just breathe, put your head in between your legs," Mark rubbed Steve's back in circles.

Steve took deep breaths, staring at the floor with his head between his knees. His breathing slowed. Whatever had happened a few minutes ago subsided. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, Sir," he said eventually, sitting up.

"Fuck the 'Sir' stuff, just talk to me normally, babe," Mark said.

"I just felt something bubble up in me. I don't know where it came from and I couldn't breathe," Steve said.

"I think you had a panic attack, that's what it seemed like to me," Mark continued to rub Steve's back.

"Nothing's ever happened to me like that before. It was scary, I was freaking out. Sorry for the dramatics," Steve looked down.

Mark held Steve's arm. "Steve, don't apologise. There's clearly a reason why it happened. Are you anxious about something? Was it what happened at work?"

"Well, most of what went on today was fine. I was actually really proud of both of us for stepping into the roles and putting on a good show for everyone," Steve made a faint smile to which Mark reciprocated.

"I am too. But then why did you just freak out?"

"It's what Mr Rashid said at the end about who was better, him or you. I'm sorry I hesitated and didn't say you; I just didn't know what to do? If I had said him, it would've been disloyal to you and if I said you, it could've offended him and put the new client agreement in jeopardy. With you being silent all night, I thought you were mad at me, and everything we've been through since the start of this just buzzed around in my head and freaked me out. It's like no matter what I do it's never enough."

"Steve, look at me," Mark placed a gentle hand under Steve's chin, meeting his gaze. "You are more than enough. You're important, you matter. You're better than all of this."

Steve's eyes watered, hearing the support and love from his husband. He hugged Mark.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault," Mark said. "I was mad at what he said, it felt emasculating but it wasn't your fault. You were in a difficult position. Heck, you've been in a difficult position for all of this, having to be loyal and obedient to so many different people, it's a wonder you've been able to handle it all. It wasn't fair of me to take it out on you like that by brooding, I'm sorry. I guess all this power-exchange stuff is just really heavy, and we need to talk it through and not just expect that we're ok with all of it. Breaks are important, and tapping out if we don't want to do certain things," Mark looked at Steve, contemplative. "I'm ending the Dom/sub arrangement.

"What?" Steve was wide-eyed.

"It's too much. It's taking a toll on both of us, and especially you."

"But what about the internship?"

"You really care that much about work? You just had an episode and couldn't breathe because of the anxiety. This isn't good for you, for us both. I'm sure some people can handle it but we're not cut out for it. I'm putting your health before anything else. I want a safe, healthy, happy husband, I don't care about the other bullshit. Other jobs will come. I'm sure your experience over the past few months will stand to you."

Steve looked at Mark, feeling reassured and secured by his words. He couldn't help but fall even more in love with him than he had been before, something he didn't think was possible. "I love you," Steve smiled, kissing Mark.

"I love you too, babe," Mark said kissing him back.

*****

Mark tore up the sub registration documents and called the administrative office, confirming a termination of ownership and Steve's return to a Norm. At home, things were a lot smoother now that they were back to normal. Steve was in clothes again and had no restrictions or bondage. The two men enjoyed some light BDSM in the bedroom but kept it there. It was a much healthier setup. What they had been through had strengthened their relationship, and without all the arguments or external pressures they were able to concentrate on themselves again, breathe and enjoy life.

Steve handed in his notice to work, explaining the pressure he was under and how the Dom/sub setup was too much for them. At first, they had been surprised since Mark and Steve had both shown very impressive Dom and sub sensibilities, but they were understanding and sad to lose their best sub and employee in general. Mr Goldman gave Steve a glowing reference, with the seal of approval coming from the very influential Mr Rashid who had taken a shine to Steve's adaptability and hard work in the face of pressure. He liked Steve's attitude and said that would take him very far in life, not just in work. They would keep their eye out for any Norm positions that arose.

With two gleaming references, Steve was in a much better position than he had been before the internship. He was hopeful for whatever the future would bring. He'd had his ups and downs. There'd been laughter and sadness, pleasure and pain, triumph and struggled, but he'd never forget any of it, or any of the people he had met along the way, friend or foe. He knew the power that was in him, and he knew what was capable of achieving. Having journeyed through the desert that was submission, he had made it to the other side and found his self-worth. The realisation was astounding and clear as day. All he had to do was trust himself and keep looking forward. Afterall, the dog days were over.

THE END

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Thanks a million to everyone who read and followed the series. I really appreciate all the feedback, messages and comments. Plus, I've loved hearing about people's personal interests and getting to know more about your lives! Keep in touch. Henry x