Two months after having moved in with Master, i had to visit my doctor again. My Gynecologist was in Tennessee. i knew i had fibroid tumors that had not been totally removed in the previous procedure. i was constantly bleeding. i could not go on this way. i made the trip down in one day and back. The doctor came in to the room i was waiting and i spoke before he could, and told him i wanted a full Hysterectomy. i wanted this over and finished. The appointment was set up at the hospital for the surgery to be done in one month. After i had returned home, Biker and i discussed what care i would need after the surgery. Susan would be coming up to visit that weekend, so we would talk with her about it as well. i was happy she was coming i wanted her to see our new home. We had already begun planning for the day when she and her kids would be moving in with us. That time was not far off, maybe by summer's end, just before the new school year would start for Nikki.
It was now April, spring was showing itself in tiny buds on the trees, the yellow daffodils were in bloom and the grass was turning from brown to green. The sunshine was growing warmer each day. i was able to open the windows of the trailer and breathe fresh clean air. i loved watching as the wind would gently blow in and lift the curtains. i had clothes hanging on the line to dry in the sun each day. Nothing smelled sweeter than clothes dried in the sun.
On Friday evening Susan and the kids arrived. Our trailer was small. Only one bedroom that Biker and i shared. Susan would sleep with us on that set of double mattresses. We still had no bed frame. We would lay out sleeping bags for Jen and her boyfriend Darrel. Nikki would use the sofa. i was working out in my head just how this was going to work, all of us living in this small trailer. There was not room to move about. We chatted a while, had snacks of chips, salsa and soda's. Then everyone settled in for the night. Jim, Susan and myself headed off to bed.
The kids were watching the TV. It was up loud but that would cover any noise that might drift out to their young perceptive ears. It is hard for me to explain the mixed emotions i had. i enjoyed having Susan to talk too, but then i also hated what i knew was coming once we were in bed. Sometimes it was a little more than pleasant. The three of us would laugh and joke around, Listen to music and then the play would begin. On some of these occasions i would be the recipient of their attention. But it never lasted very long. They soon became distracted from me and began to focus on each other. After all Susan had not had any attention from Biker for a few weeks. At times Biker would instruct me to do certain things, such as toy with Susan's nipples while He loved toying with her ass. Many times Susan and i would focus on Biker. There did seem to be an air of competition between us. Each trying to please Him in certain ways. Who could do the best B. J., Or who could get the most reaction from Him. i hated feeling this way. We did enjoy each other. I should say they enjoyed each other. It's how i felt whether it was true or my own insecurities. When the play was over. i would turn over on my side, away from them and try to fall asleep. Biker did make the effort to hold she and I both for a bit. He slept in the middle.
Morning came and i was up cleaning up from the night before and making coffee for when they woke. i am an early rise anyway. i made myself a cup of coffee and went out to sit on the front steps. i loved the early morning hours as the sun came up. Watching the cows graze across the way. Watching the birds gathering twigs to build the nests for their young on the way. It was also a time for me to gather myself for the day. i wondered if all poly homes had the issues mine did. Did all slaves have this inner conflict? Were they filled with doubt and anxiety? Was their fear?
The walls of the trailer were thin so i could hear movement inside. i went back and found the kids stirring. i could see down the hall into the bedroom and Biker and she were sitting up in bed talking and kissing. i prepared their coffee and took it in to them. i sat down on the edge of the bed and began discussing my surgery. Susan would come up and stay with me the week after the surgery so Biker could go to work each day.
i had told Susan i wanted to make me a small rose garden and plant some other flowers about the yard. After we had eaten breakfast and dressed the three of us took off for the greenhouses. She said she knew just the right things for our yard. i have to admit i was a bit put out by her manner. i knew what i wanted and how to plant them but she had Biker's ear. So i just followed along. After browsing though the houses we picked out a variety of flowering plants, potting soil and fertilizer. We then returned home and began digging up the areas we intended to plant. At one point i almost lost my self-control, (which I never do), But i was feeling pushed. i was carrying a bucket of water to soak the plants and wanted so desperately to soak Susan instead. i resisted that urge only because i feared Biker's reaction. i went inside instead and gave up my desire to plant my own flowers. The joy of it was gone. i busied myself with chores. After another night of play, Susan and the children left for home. The house was nice and quiet again. i did not say a word to Biker about how the flower incident bothered me.
