Defining terms for purpose of clarity: lover: A close friend or companion that I have physical relations with in some manner.
Soul mate: A person that I am very close to, but I do not have sexual physical relations with this person in any form.
I use these terms broadly, I use them for Clarity and the benefit of others, but fuck labels... I believe we can have multiple lovers and soul mates in this life. The only difference is the dynamic of the relationship. So, for example, my brother-in-law, Is someone I consider to be my soul mate but would not touch him with a 10-foot pole in that manner. One of my best girlfriends, I consider her as a lover because I can fuck her and it not be complicated. I said I can, doesn't mean that I do. If that something she would need at the time, I would gladly give it to her and she knows it. Because that's the kind of friend I am.
Do you get it? Just so we're clear...
Some don't understand that my husband is my home and my lovers are my reminders. I love my roles as a mother and wife. They are most important to me because that's a huge part of my life. I will never give them up. When I took on these roles, I unknowingly gave up parts of myself and got lost in them. I was trying to get it right, perfect... I wanted to exceed the societal expectations of a wife and a mom. Naturally, I'm very passionate, ambitious, Determined, and Ballsy to a fault. Being high reaching caused me to lose myself. It was one of the most painful things I ever experienced, aside from losing my mother. To look myself in the mirror and not recognize me...feeling the lowest of low... and then coming to this realization was is beyond bewildering. How did I get here???