Dissolved Girl

From the first day that we met, i knew He wanted to fuck my ass. i knew because He told me as we sat in the theater watching previews that He was going to fuck my ass... and that i would like it.

It was that second part that gave me a thrill, a chill through my body. That He was confident that i would like it, accept it. His surety, an aphrodisiac to my soul.

i wanted it. i really did. But that didn't stop me from being afraid. Afraid of the pain, and afraid that i would disappoint Him. His huge Cock penetrating my tiny asshole... it seemed like an impossibility, that my body could stretch that far, take that much.

i knew by now that anal penetration was a good thing for me. He had had me putting my fingers up there from that first day in preparation. And it wasn't too long ago that I ended up with a strap-on in my ass, though the dildo was significantly smaller than His Cock.

Tonight would be the big night though. The night that i would get to find out what anal penetration would be like with Master, His hot Cock cumming in my ass, taking me as no strap-on could.

i knew it would be hard for me, painful. i was both secure in the existence of a safe word and determined not to use it. The submissive version of machismo perhaps, but it was also a matter of trust and discipline. If i trust Him, then there shouldn't be a need for using a safe word. All i have to do is trust that He knows me well enough to know when to stop even better than i do. After all, if i let myself self-limit i'd probably still be with my ex-husband, overeating and under-achieving.

i think He told me in advance rather than surprising me with the fuck as a kind of mind fuck, knowing i would think and think and think about it; having an idea from the dildos, but unable to know what this would really be like for me.

Excited, elated, terrified, i went to his place in the evening. i knew no one else was home, for now, so it was just the two of us, as it should be for this deliciously dirty consummation. i knocked on the door, and upon being told to enter, i did so. Stepping onto the landing and closing the door behind me, i began to strip off my dress under His dark gaze. I could feel the wetness beginning to coalesce between my legs, and my nipples hardened from more than the sudden exposure to the air.

There is something uniquely exciting about being treated as an object for pleasure; to strip knowing that i'm about to be used for His pleasure and not my own. That singular knowledge is what draws me to this lifestyle, keeps me hungry for more the more He shows me. The way that I feel being a sex object is addictive.

Trembling in anticipation, i stood before Him. He appeared to savor the sight before beckoning me into the bedroom. I followed Him with butterflies in my stomach and legs that felt almost to weak to hold me up.

Once we were in the room and the door was shut, He allowed me to fall to my knees and begin to suck His Cock. Feeling It grow large in my mouth was not a new sensation at this point, but it caused a new shiver of fear deep inside with the knowledge of where this huge Cock would soon be. So many people talk about length when it comes to cocks, but, especially for anal, it is more the width that worries me. Master's Cock is larger around than my wrist, and over 9 inches long.

He shoved me away from Cock and used my long dark hair to pull me to my feet before shoving me face down onto the bed. my senses were scrambled by the sex and the violence and the fear, a deliciously paralyzing mix. i delighted in being told to lay still, though i doubted i could have moved if i had wanted to. Chilled and afraid, i nestled my face into the pillows as i waited.

i could hear Him getting out the lube, but i still twitched from the shockingly cold feel of it on my asshole. He easily slid one finger inside, and then forced in two. The stretch and pain of the second finger jacked my fear up to a new level at the thought of how much bigger Cock is than those fingers.

A quick rough finger fuck which stopped just as it began to feel pleasurable was followed by the weight of His body covering mine, Cock slickly pressing against my so small, so tight asshole. my body was compressed into the softness of the bed, making the piercings in my nipples into little exclamation points of sensation. my breath began to come more quickly, knowing He wouldn't take long now.

"They" say that anal sex shouldn't be painful; to use plenty of lube and take it slowly, stopping at the first sign of pain or discomfort. To put it bluntly, He does not subscribe to "their" methods in the slightest.

He held me down with the weight of His body and began to shove Cock inside me. The pain was acute and inescapable. my pride and my desperation to be pleasing kept me from calling out a safe word at the pain, but i couldn't remain silent under the onslaught of sensations as close to rape as i've ever experienced.

"It hurts," a squeak escaping from my lips between gasps and moans. "Fuck! God!" i began to yell as the pain became a bit more normal, trying to remember to muffle the loud ones in a pillow without suffocating.

"Yes?" He asked as i continued to call out to God. In my rather distracted state it took quite a few repetitions for me to realize i was taken as addressing Him as God; quite a proper address in the terms of the relationship, but not my conscious intent at the time. i was beyond conscious intent, reduced to a yelling, squealing, shrieking pain filled bundle of nerves.

He drove noises out of me, loud and muffled by pillows and my biting my own lips. He was in complete control of my body through His Cock buried in my asshole, every thrust bringing more pain until I was merely crying, sobbing into His pillow and occasionally mumbling again, "it hurts."

And then He whispered in my ear, "I know it hurts." Even as He caused more pain, more damage, His voice gently told me He knew i was in great pain. i was comforted by His words more because it made me feel He was in control and acting in full knowledge than because it hurt any less. Those words seduced me.

my perception of time was worthless. The pain seemed to have been a part of me forever. His weight bearing down on my body forced breath out of my lungs and further skewed my sense of time passing. i don't know how long He fucked me. It felt like too long, too much, more than i could bear, but i was bearing it. i didn't pass out, though i lost my ability to think clearly.

He increased His speed, wrecking me more with every thrust, and came inside me, shooting cum deep inside my body, to be absorbed and mixed with shit. He relaxed on top of me, speaking softly. i was beyond words. The pain was starting to recede as Cock softened but not over. i was lost in space, had probably orgasmed without noticing, because back then i detached myself from my pleasure, as if i were afraid to orgasm.

He pulled out and i made a feeble attempt to follow my standing orders of cleaning Cock after it has been inside of me. He told me to lay still and i did as i watched Him wipe Himself off a bit with a towel, before bringing Cock close to my face and allowing me to give thanks to the instrument of my abuse. A slight taste of cum, especially on the head, but no blood remained, for which I was grateful.

He allowed me to towel off my round ass and go use the toilet (with the door open, of course). There was definitely blood coming out, tearing evinced by soreness and the still flowing bleeding. After that He let me recover, eat and drink and process what had just happened.

It is perhaps one of the most fundamental expressions of a BDSM relationship, that of enduring great pain for His pleasure. The result is not only His pleasure, but my own tempering, and even satisfaction... feeding that strange twist inside me that craves service to Others.

i was lucky to get the down time, because there was to be a second part to the evening's fun...