Dissoluteness

She sat waiting but the phone didn't ring. With a sigh she pushed away from the breakfast bar and went to the bedroom to dress. Her intention to spend the morning shopping now had no interest for her. She decided instead to go to the book store and find another book

She entered the store and headed directly for the erotica section. She didn't have a clue what she was looking for so she browsed the shelves. She lost herself in the hundreds of titles on the shelves and was startled when she heard a familiar voice.

"Did you enjoy the book you purchased last time?"

Startled, she looked up in surprise.

"How did you know what book I purchased."

"I saw when you checked out. Did you enjoy it?

A blush rose across her cheeks and she turned her eyes down.

"Yes, very much. I found it very . . . engaging."

He looked at her intently, his eyes seeming to bore into her. She glanced up and seeing his intent examination of her, she averted her eyes again. When she looked back he was pulling a book from the shelf.

"If you enjoyed that book, I think you will find this one equally, if not more, . . . engaging."

She looked at the book without taking it from his hand. Unlike many of the other novels it did not have a detailed photo or drawing. It was simple with grey lettering that was almost lost on the solid black cover. Taking the book she turned to get the light so that she could read the cover. She read the title. "Dissolute." She gasped. Her eyes flashed up to his. His eyes smiled as he spoke quietly with an air of authority leaving her with the distinct impression that he was accustomed to being obeyed.

"Ellen. Read the book. When you have finished come to see me at my store and I will talk to you more about dissoluteness."

He turned and walked directly out of the store leaving her standing in stunned silence

.

How did he know her name? How did he know . . . of course, he was the voice of dissoluteness. It was him who had eventually gotten her message

.

She looked at the door where he had disappeared and walked to the counter to pay for her book. The young woman at the register looked at her and smiled.

"Your book has already been paid for."

****

She was soon back home in her chair in the bedroom with the book open. She began to read. The back cover had told her that the book was the journal of a woman's journey into the dark side of passion and eroticism. She found herself being introduced to a woman named Sophie who was, by any description, a normal house wife, average in almost every category. As she progressed through the book she found herself being drawn along as Sophie began to question her own needs and desires and began to search for something different. By the third chapter she had met a man who promised to open to her a new world of sensual delights and experiences.

By now Ellen was captivated. She couldn't put the book down and she again heard her husband come in. This time he didn't even bother to find her, he simply left again. She didn't really care. She went back to the book. She had reached a point at which Sophie was about to agree to the man's offers and enter into his world. She stopped, put the book down, stood and stretched. She went to the bathroom and took off her clothes. She was about to reach for the nightgown when she stopped. Instead she went to a drawer in the dresser and dug down into a back corner. There she found a pale blue lace nighty. It had been in the drawer for years. Slipping it on and she looked at herself in the mirror. She turned and looked again.

She crawled in the bed and grabbed the book. She was soon absorbed again in the tale of Sophie. She realized that Sophie had begun her descent into dissoluteness. The man, who now required her to address him as Master, began by taking from her all semblance of her former self. She was relieved of her clothing and personal effects and then of her dignity. She was required to expose herself to not only Master but to his friends and colleagues.

Sophie's education in dissoluteness required her to perform and accept more and more intense and deviant acts. She was whipped and caned. She was bound and tormented in dozens of the most brutal and agonizing ways. Through it all she was kept in a state of constant arousal. For each torment she suffered, she was also taken to unbelievable heights of pleasure. The pain and pleasure became so intermingled that they merged and for her became inseparable. Sophie had completed the metamorphosis from average and normal housewife to a dissolute creature who lived only for the pleasure, not of herself, but of the one who owned her.

Ellen closed the book. It was well past midnight when she turned off the light and lay down in the bed. She fell into a deep sleep and dreams of Bernadette, Sophie, the Baron and Master overtook her. Sometimes she was Sophie and sometimes Bernadette, but always the outcome was the same.

Waking with a start she lay on her back, her legs spread obscenely and her hand buried between her thighs. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. Her hand and fingers moved frantically. She gasped, groaned and spasmed into a terrific gut wrenching orgasm that had her knees drawn up tight and her fingers trust deeply into her throbbing pussy. It took her almost 20 minutes until she was able to breathe normally.

She bounded out of bed and quickly dressed. Picking up the book and the card Ellen hurried from the house. Within a few minutes she was parked in front of the small store. Making her way inside she stopped, waiting.

He came from the back of the store and walk straight toward her. He well within her personal space. He nodded to the book in her hands.

"Did you enjoy this book as well?"

She nodded.

"Are you ready to hear about Dissoluteness?"

She nodded again.

"Then come with me."

He turned and walked back through the door in to the darkness of the room beyond. She followed, holding the book in front of her. Her eyes were riveted on his back.

Past the door the small store opened into a space about the same size as the front of the store. It was part store room, part work room and part office. He pointed to a chair and sat himself in the office chair at the space that served as a desk. She sat demurely and waited on him to speak.

"That you called and that you came here today tells me that you are searching for something. Can you tell me what?"

"I am not sure. I just want something different, something exciting, something more than I have now."

He listened. She again saw that same intense piercing gaze that seemed to see deep inside her.

"How much are you willing to give up to gain what you seek?"

She paused before answering

.

What was it that she would be giving up? She didn't seem to have a marriage anymore. She had no friends, she had no social life.

"Everything."

He spent several minutes studying her before he spoke again.

"You will be changed forever, not matter what happens. This is not a thing that you can back out of. Once started, even if you quit, the changes that have occurred will remain."

She nodded.

"If you are serious and you understand what the message of the book is, then come back here day after tomorrow. Make no other plans for the rest of the day and the evening. Be here at noon. Now go home and re-read the book. If I am satisfied that you understand what the message when you return, we will proceed."

He stood and offered his hand. She took it and he led her to the front door. He opened it for her and as she stepped out he shut it and she heard the lock turn. When she looked back the sign was turned to closed and the interior was dark.

She did as she had been told. She went home and spent the evening re-reading the book and trying to puzzle out what special meaning or revelation she was supposed to discover. She fell asleep with the book in her hand.

When she finally woke, it was late morning, later than she had slept in months. She lazed in the bed, stretched and looked at the clock. She finally got out of bed and took a long hot shower before getting dressed. She picked up the book and left the house.

She parked in front of the store and looked at the clock on the dashboard. It was 5 minutes to 12. The store looked dark and the closed sign was still turned. At 1 minute to 12 she saw a figure in the dim store, the sign turned and then the figure disappeared. She opened the door to the car and stepped to the door of the shop and stepped inside. It was dark. She heard his voice from the back of the store.

"Turn the sign and lock the door. Come back here."

She did as he instructed walking slowly down the aisle of the store and into the back room. It was even darker in the backroom and she still could not see him. Again, she heard the voice from deeper in the gloom of the back room.

"Close the door and lock it."

She pushed the door closed without turning and groped for the lock behind her. Her eyes were fixed on the shadow at the back of the storeroom where she guessed he was watching her.

"On the table in front of you is a box. You will disrobe completely and put all of your clothing, your purse and your phone in the box."

She gasped as she heard his instruction. Her hesitation was evident.

"You came here of your own volition. You made the decision to seek dissolution. This is the first step down that road."

His words bored into her like a drill. She set her jaw as she stepped to the edge of the table. Her purse and her phone went into the box. She unbuttoned the blouse and shrugged it from her shoulders, folded it and it too, went into the box. The skirt followed. He resolve to proceed wavered as she reached behind her back to unclasp the bra. Biting her lower lip, she unfastened the clasp and let the bra slide from her shoulders. Folded neatly it joined the rest of her clothing in the box. Hooking her thumbs in the waist band of her panties, she pushed them down and stepped free, folding them into a tiny package and depositing them into the box. Her shoes quickly followed. Standing naked in the dim light she looked toward the back of the store.

"Close the box. You will find a lock on the table. Lock the box."

She pulled the lid closed on the box. The lock lay behind the box The bale of the lock slipped through the hasp and the lock clicked shut. That sound was like a gunshot as she realized that she was now completely helpless. She shivered visibly.

He stepped from the shadows and approached her. He again stopped only inched from her, inside her personal space. He reached out and cupped her breast. His thumb traced a circle over her nipple. She trembled. She was incredulous when her nipple responded, distending and hardening under his touch.

"Turn around."

She turned to face away from him.

He puledl her wrist up and behind her back. She groaned as her hand was forced high behind her back and between her shoulder blades. Rope Encircled her wrist. Her other wrist was pulled up with the other and In seconds her wrists were bound tightly together. It was uncomfortable but not overwhelmingly so. She felt another loop of rope go around her elbows. The tighter he pulled the loop around her elbows, the further her shoulders were forced back and the more painful the pressure. She groaned audibly as her elbows were forced to touch behind her back.

Hands took her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him. He sat on a stool at the workbench and his eyes wandered up and down her.

"How does it feel? Is it like you imagined? I know you have thought about this, fantasized about it. Now that you are experiencing is it what you thought it would be?"

She looked at him and his words brought her back into a state of stark reality, like a dash of cold water. She tried to form a cogent answer, but when she opened her mouth all she managed was a moan.

"I will take that as a yes. Before we proceed any further I want to know if you understand the book."

Her eyes looked at him in disbelief. She was standing before him naked, helpless and bound. She was flabbergasted that he would chose now to discuss literary content.

"Ellen. Tell me what you learned from the book"

Closing her eyes, she worked to gather herself.

"I learned I want to be Sophie."

Her eyes flew open as she heard him chuckle.

"That is the first time I have ever heard someone answer like that."

So he has done this very same thing before. I wonder how many times."

"Ellen, you must be more specific. What did you learn from the book."

Her brows drew together. Despite the pain in her arms and shoulders, she had to concentrate to formulate an answer.

"I learned that pleasure and pain can be one and the same."

"Yes. Go on."

"I learned that the greatest pleasure can be in giving someone else pleasure no matter what it requires."

"Good! Anything else."

"Yes! I learned that I don't have to be ashamed or afraid of what I am. . . or what I want to be."

Her eyes met his and she saw in his face a look of satisfaction.

"Good girl. I think that you do understand. Come with me."

He stood, turned and walked toward the very back of the store. She followed as he stepped down into a stairwell. She followed carefully. Without her hands and arms to steady herself, she moved cautiously. At the bottom, he waited until she came through the doorway. He closed the door before leading her to the center of the room.

"It is time for you to begin to change your pre-conceptions about what is good and what is bad. You must accept who and what you are and what you want to be. You must shed your old self as you have shed your clothing. To do that you must learn to accept, that in dissolution there is freedom; that freedom is joy and freedom is sometimes found in being bound physically and mentally. You must accept that the line between pain and pleasure can be erased until pain can become pleasure and pleasure can become pain and that in both you can find release."

AS she listened to him, she shivered. Her breasts to swayed slightly. It was cool and somewhat damp in the basement and she was feeling it. He again reached out and caressed her breast causing the nipple to react visibly. He smiled.

"You see, you already find this pleasurable."

Without warning he grasped the same nipple and pinched it hard between his thumb and forefinger. She yelped, wincing visibly and tried to back away but he held her firmly by the tortured piece of flesh. She started down on one knee, her face twisted in agony and a squeal of pain escaping from her mouth.

"When you get the same reaction from that sensation as you did the caress, then you will have achieved your goal."

He released the nipple and she slowly straighten up. A tear slid down her cheek and she was breathing heavily. Her nipple throbbed and burned. Just a glint of fear could be seen in her eyes. She watched as he moved a wooden chair into the center of the room. He put the chair in front of her.

"Sit. Straddle the chair with the back of the chair at your front."

She did as he instructed, spreading her legs and straddling the chair bottom, her breasts pressed against the wooden slats of the back of the chair. He watched as she spread her legs and exposed herself. He could see the slight glint of apprehension in her eyes.

Her eyes followed him as he moved to a cabinet to one side. When he turned she could see that he held more rope. He moved behind her, knelt and she felt her legs and ankles bound to the legs of the chair, rendering her immobile. Reaching around her, he the lifted her breasts and lay them on the top rail of the chair back. A length of rope went around her back and pulled her tightly to the chair back. Her breasts lay over the top rail, exposed and vulnerable. From his pocket he took a pair of nipple clamps. She had seen them in the store. She watched wide eyed as he opened the rubber coated jaws and placed them around her nipples. As he slowly screwed them down tight she struggled to keep from crying out. The pain was intense, sharp and biting. A moan escaped around her clenched teeth. It was when he hung the weights from the clamps and her nipples were stretched downward that her groan turned to an agonized wail. She had to pant to control the pain and the very act of doing so only increased the agony as each pant caused her breasts to move. She soon realized that she had to control herself to control the pain.

He waited until she regained enough control to look at him.

"You are, I see, beginning to understand. To learn to give up control, to achieve freedom, you must first learn to control yourself, to control your body and to control the pain. To give up control to someone else requires that you understand control and know yourself. That is your lesson to learn. Now you will have time to study on it."

She watched as he walked to the door leading back up to the store. As he exited he turned off the light and closed the door at the bottom of the stairs. She heard the lock turn. Inky blackness enveloped her like a blanket. She could see nothing. She could not move, she could only sit, bound tightly to the chair and endure the growing pain in her breasts and the ache and complaints of the muscles in her arms, back and legs.

He checked his watch as he climbed the stairs. When he reached the back room of the store, he smiled and went back to work on the leather project on which he had been working when she arrived.

The darkness and the cold were beginning to affect her. Without sight, she began to hear things in the velvety blackness that encased her. A soft rustling as if something were moving quickly around her caught her attention behind her. She turned her head from left to right to try and find the sound but was quickly reminded that any movement only increased the torment on her breasts. She sat still.

She began to question herself.

Why was she here. What had possessed her to willingly place herself in this strange man's hands

.

She was astonished that she had so quickly and easily given up everything, her clothes, her phone, her car keys, and allowed herself to be put in such a vulnerable situation. As she mulled over these things she began to notice a creeping dampness between her thighs. She began to inventory herself. Her breasts felt as if her nipples were being pulled off. The muscles in her back and arms ached to the extent that the discomfort almost equaled that in her breasts. She was slowly becoming more and more aroused.

What the hell is happening to me?

In the dark, alone, helpless and bound she began to allow her deepest desires to slowly rise to the surface. Yes, she was frightened, but that fright helped fuel the fires of her arousal. Yes, she was in pain but in that pain she was learning to control herself in ways that allowed her to mitigate the pain into something more bearable. Alone she was beginning to find the insight into her own needs. The more she thought of what she was experiencing, the more she came to realize that she no longer cared about what was right and wrong or what was good or bad. She was now immersed in the growing sense of arousal and desire she was feeling, to relish it and let it wash over her in waves that kept her on an ever-growing rush.

She had no idea how long she had been sitting in the dark. She had long since quit worrying about that. It was the ever-present pain that kept her focused and it was the continually growing arousal that kept her in wonder. She wanted desperately to grind herself against the hard bottom of the chair to find some relief for the throbbing need in her pussy but any movement raised the pain to almost intolerable levels. She was forced to sit and endure the need and the pain at the same time. She was beginning to understand how pain an pleasure can become one and the same.