Diary of Descent

May 3

rd

Today has been a weird day. After Killean left, the thrill and warmth id been feeling slowly subsided. Killean's working abroad for a week and just as he gets back I'm traveling for a conference. All previous excitement about this conference has vanished with the realisation that its an impediment to me.. and my nether regions... seeing more of Killean!

Ok that's being a bit melodramatic, but I definitely felt a disproportionate sense of missing him. So, I moped for a few hours going through the various chores that needed doing. My pussy still ached, but the excitement that came with it was dampened by my blues into an irritation instead. To sum up, I was in a foul mood by the time evening came and I had finally settled down to dinner on the sofa. Then he text.

The first messages were tame and welcome. He had just landed. He too thought the evening had been "mind blowing" and he missed me already. This grounded me. It at least partly reassured all those nagging little voices in my head that he felt the same way. Then things got spicier. He sent this:

About last night... I'm sorry for throwing you in at the deep end.

I got a bit over excited.

I wanted to check you were still up for exploring... some kinkiness

Its definitely not a deal breaker.

I feel like I should have hesitated but at these words my clit hummed. I paused a little, I didn't want to come across too keen, and then I replied.

I'm nervous... but i want to see where this goes. I assume I am in safe hands?

Oh the safest.

Ok, well a few ground rules. When I want to switch the dynamic I'll message "switch" and from then on I am to be addressed as "master" till I say "end" or you "watermelon"

Switch

I assume you have realised that you are looking at 12 days at least before you cum...?

I was throbbing again and caught myself almost audibly sighing.

"yes master"

"Now, I want you to strip for me and assume the position I am about to show you"

This is the "ready position". I want you to set a timer for 10 minutes and then assume this position. Try to focus on how your body feels. Right now, every inch of that body belongs to me.

Interestingly the idea of ownership didn't rankle, it just made me burn more. A picture came through on the chat. I t was a woman naked, sat back on her heels with her knees spread. Her back was straight, her breast pushed forward and her gaze was straight and proud. Her hands clasped behind her head and her elbows were out to the side, accentuating the curve of her back. Her hands held her hair back, exposing her neck and around her throat was a thin leather collar. I wanted one. I wanted one given to me by Killean.

I felt grubby, distinctly unsexy, but I pushed those thought aside in my urgency to follow his order. I quickly striped my clothes off and threw them in the corner. I got to my knees, the cold laminate floor making me wince. The pressure on my knees was alleviated slightly as I settled back and felt my arse cheeks part as they rested on my heels. At that moment I first became aware of the breeze in the room fluttering between my legs. It felt like I was soaking. I could imagine my excitement pooling beneath me.

I managed to shake off my distraction and set the timer on my phone before pushing my breast forward and clasping my hands behind my head. Then I stilled my mind. As if! My mind was still for about half a second before it started squirming. I wriggled trying to elongate my neck and back. I was aware of the discomfort in my knees slowly building. I felt stupid. Was doing it right, was this what Killean wanted? These thoughts swirled for quite a while.

At some point other things entered my mind, worming their way through the doubts. First the cool sent a shiver through me, sparking a line of nerve endings alive across my skin. This brought my attention to my nipples, hard and swollen in the cold. If I concentrated on them, I could feel them tingling, sending fresh tingles and shudders rippling through me. I've never felt such an urge to touch my skin. My fingers tightened behind my head, and I arched my back feeling warmth wash over me. At this point I lost track of whether I was tensing my body as a response or whether through imagination and selective tensing I was working myself up but this sense of tingling quickly built to a steady background buzz throughout the whole of me.

I had the urge to clench down there. My clit felt distinctly hot when I concentrated on it and I imagined I could feel the wetness seeping between my lips. I desperately wanted to feel something inside me. Stretching me out. The emptiness inside me in some ways drove me crazier. I had to clench harder, willing something to be there, and these clenches stoked the little embers into bursting all over my body.

Throughout this all I tried to remain upright. The clearly defined task helped, and I found I had a genuine desire to be obedient, to please Killean, even though he couldn't see me. Beneath all the sensation and thought I also felt distinctly vulnerable. I felt foolish, a little humiliated but somehow this added to the experience rather than took away from it. I was disappointed when the timer ended. My hands twitched at the thought of touching myself, but I held off, not sure what I had permission to do. Killean text a few minutes later.

How was that?

I did as you asked

Master....

It felt surprisingly good.

...

Any other instructions?

Everything I wrote felt stilted and kind of inadequate. I waited, anxiety and lust pulling my chest tight and catching my breath.

I want you to assume that position for 10 mins every morning.

Now I need to go, You have permission to touch yourself for 5 mins and you may put something inside you as you sleep if you wish.

End

I miss you, sleep well

And with that he was gone. I sat there stunned for a second before inevitably I set my timer for 5 minutes. I wasted no time. I raked my nails across my chest and belly hungrily and quickly found the hood of my clit. I started rubbing quickly, no preamble and in no time my desperate pace had me teetering. In a panic I pulled my hand away and let the intensity subside a little.

I still had 2 minutes left and I didn't trust myself to spend any more time on my clit. Instead, I ran my find down the side of my silky labia and let a finger slide into me. My pussy engulfed one, two, three, four, fingers, with little difficulty. I lay back, stretching myself out, luxuriating. Haltingly I tried thrusting my fingers in and out, but the fullness and my palm cupping my clit quickly forced me to pause. I had just begun to start slowly moving my hands again when the shrill beep of my alarm rudely intruded.

Its weird how quickly I stopped. Like, I was a naughty schoolgirl caught in the act. It felt involuntary, but something in me felt a strong urge to obey (fricking pathetic). With a sign I got up, but I forced myself to do so slowly in defiance of my initial reaction. Despite the frustration my mood was definitively lifted. I felt warm and spacey. Also reconnecting with Kilean had reassured any unacknowledged doubts which had been creeping in.

What a couple of days! As I lay writing this I have a dildo (of modest size but still!) inside me. That longing aching feeling has dulled but it still right there. Each time I clench around it, I get that little jolt again. Both indulgent and tortuous at once! Ah well, good night!