I smiled back at her and said, "I am."
End of entry for Day Nineteen
Maddi's Diary, Day Twenty, Wednesday
Last night was TAZapper night on Beat Girl. The TAZapper- pronounced TAY-ZAPPER, is a cattle-prod like thing about the size of one of those lighters with a long barrel. It looks something like one of them also except it is red with a solid, black plastic barrel. There are two pieces of metal on the tip of the barrel. They look sort of like the end of two paperclips that are embedded in the plastic. They are the electrodes.
They're shaped that way so they can't accidentally snag on something and won't penetrate the skin. The TAZapper is supposed to be safe for use on a human, and the pulse is supposed to stay more or less in the skin so it won't cause heart problems or any of that. A cattle prod is a lot stronger and the electrodes are pointed so they will penetrate slightly into the cow's thick skin. The cattle prod hurts a LOT more than the TAZapper and causes involuntary muscle contraction, but it can also stop your heart if you accidentally put it on someone's chest or even if you get the electrodes exactly on top of an artery and a vein when you press it against the skin. The chances of that happening are pretty small, but it is still too dangerous to use regularly.
For TAZapper night, five players can be up at the same time. Three have zappers, and two have vibrators. One of the vibrators is a big ol' fat Magic Wand vibrator. The other is a slim line vibrating dildo. The zappers and the vibrators are mounted on robot arms like are used to weld cars together on an assembly line. In fact that's what they are.
Harold bought them used from somewhere and modified them so that they can be controlled with a game joystick. I had to stand there for hours while he programmed them so they will touch my skin, but can't spear me... well the zappers can't spear me. The vibrators, that's a different story. If a player has skilled hands, he can shove the Miracle Wand all the way into my cunt or put the slim-line vibrator up my ass. Harold put a lot of safeties into the robot programming to make sure they can't hurt me- as in damage me.
Players pay for time, not shocks. It is so many points for so many minutes. The shocks are always the same level- hard. You can select an intensity level for the vibrators, but it doesn't cost more.
I do the introductory stuff with restraint cuffs already in place on my wrists and ankles. I used to put them on after my intro, but then I am rushed and one week, I got the cuffs way too tight and my hands and feet were almost purple by the time the half hour was up. Now they are in place and, when I first explain things, I click the metal D-rings on my wrist cuffs together so they click really loud and say, "Tonight is TAZapper night." Then I explain how everything is supposed to work and encourage them to get in the cues early.
Time costs a hundred points a minute, so you can actually sign in for the whole thirty minutes for 3000 points. In US dollars, that is $600, and it is not unusual to have someone in for the full session. Since there are five players, that means that the whole session brings in only $3000 from the players. That's a little lower than the other sessions, but for some reason, the TAZapper sessions have a much larger following. Most of the actual income comes from the huge number of people who log in to watch at 50 points per session, so the total income for the night is actually much higher.
Anyway, after I do all my introductions, I clip my restraints to the cables and stand between the two pillars of the TAZapper set. The cables tighten and pull my legs really far apart, and then the upper cables tighten until I am held taut.
The timers come on screen, but don't start counting down for another three minutes while the Magic Wand robot goes through an automated program that gets me ready. The pain from the TAZapper shocks is different from a spanking or whipping or even from shocks from a TENS unit, and unless I am already pretty well turned on, they won't trigger the pain-pleasure cycle. They just hurt. I told Harold that I wasn't going to do the TAZapper anymore because of that, but he convinced me to try it one more time with what he called "the warm up cycle."
I did, and it worked. It is still my least favorite session, but it's OK now. And it doesn't leave any marks or bruises that have to heal, so it does give my ass time to clear between sessions with the paddle and cane.
I did my introductions, the Magic Wand robot got me ready, and then all five robot arms pulled back into the standby/ready position. I looked up at the big monitor on the wall and could see that all five player slots were booked for the whole session. Then the first arm moved in and popped me right on the tip of my nipple.
That wasn't a good sign. That meant that at least one of the players was a skilled gamer and he- or she-was going to be able to move quickly and put their zaps exactly where they wanted. A second zap hit me almost immediately right in the middle of my belly button. I wasn't expecting that... well not there, and I yelped a bit when it hit me.
After that things started get pretty fast and furious. It must have been a woman on the Magic Wand, because whoever it was really knew how to use it. So did whoever had the slim line. They were pumping it in and out of my ass as if I were being fucked back there. Did I mention that the slim line vibrator is also self-lubricating? It pumps out a baby-oil-like solution from small holes in the tip so that it slides across my skin or slips easily into my ass. I've had a couple of people try to put it in my mouth, but the sign-on instructions clearly say that the neck is the limit and the arms are programmed not to go above my collar bones.
I was yelping and squirming pretty good from the shocks and the vibrator action when I did something that I've never done before. I closed my eyes and imagined that it was Shirley doing all this to me. Ignoring the fact that there were actually three TAZappers and two vibrators, I imagined that she had a vibrator in one hand and a zapper in the other and was doing all of this to me on stage somewhere.
For the first time, I felt a major orgasm building during a TAZapper session. I've gone over the top once or twice during TAZapper sessions, but those were always little orgasms, not much more than what I call a sneeze orgasm. It's there and then it's gone.
This wasn't a sneeze orgasm. It was a jump off the mountain into the clouds orgasm. I think the timer had counted down to about 8 minutes when it finally happened. I heard myself screaming out "Mistress, I love you!" and then the world dissolved in white light and bright colors. By the time things got back into focus, I was standing between the restraint poles with the cables hanging slack from my wrists. It must have looked impressive because the readouts showed a huge number of download requests for the video of the session.
Afterwards, I didn't shower or even take off the restraint cuffs, but staggered naked back up to the house and fell into bed. I woke up barely in time to make my session with Dr. B.
This afternoon, the manager didn't tell me I looked like I was in love. Instead she said, "You look really tired today. Long night?"
"No," I answered, "just a very intense evening."
End of entry for Day Twenty
Maddi's Diary, Day Twenty-One, Thursday
Wednesday is "hump day" for most people, but for some reason, Thursday seems more like that to me. Maybe it is because I am recovering from Tuesday nights on Wednesday, but by Thursday I am looking forward to the weekend.
I am especially looking forward to this weekend.
End of entry for Day Twenty-One
Maddi's Diary, Day Twenty-Two, Friday
OK Dr. B, I am talking about group first today... but mainly because of how badly it sucked.
I sat there quietly while the two teachers who basically raped their students went on and on about how unfair society is for punishing people like them who are in love. I really wanted to scream at them, "It isn't love when you are banging three or four students at the same time!" but I held my tongue because you are not supposed to be judgmental in group.
I also didn't say anything when the sex addict college boy and girl kept looking sideways at each other and reaching over and touching each other's leg when they thought no one was looking. I think they are taking my advice about helping each other out even though I never said anything to them.
Then Wanda- that's teacher #1 who was sleeping with 4 girls in her class at the same time - noticed my necklace. "Do you know what you are wearing?" she asked in a really snarky, haughty voice.
I put my hand to my throat and gripped the emblem on the front of the velvet choker. The emblem is silver and sort of looks like the Chinese Yin and Yang emblem except that are three teardrops that intertwined, all three were black within a silver outline, and there was a hole in the center of each teardrop through which you could see the velvet of the choker.
"And what am I wearing?" I asked.
"You may have bought it at some street fair thinking it is a Triskele and are wearing it to look Irish," she continued, still sounding like a haughty teacher belittling an ignorant student, "but that is definitely NOT the Celtic symbol of the three phases of the Goddess in your life. With those little holes drilled through it, that is the BDSM symbol, and with it on the front of a choker like that, it is the symbol of a slave."
She looked around the rest of the group looking very satisfied with herself. "Where DID you get it?" she asked. Her voice sounded very gleeful and she looked like a hawk ready pounce as she waited for me to answer so that she could further expound on my ignorance of Celtic and BDSM symbols.
"My Mistress gave it to me," I answered. "It's a white collar which means that she is my Mistress and I am her slave, but we have not made that permanent with a collaring ceremony. If we do make it permanent, I will wear a black collar, probably a leather one when we are together, and a black choker similar to this one when I am out in public doing other things."
Diane, teacher #2, joined in at this point. "How can you do that to yourself? How can you lower yourself to such a degree as to become a slave? You are not a piece of property! That is sick!"
