A few days had passed. I'd barely spoken to Kinsey but worst of all I had heard nothing from Mister Schwartz. Aka Matt, my best friend's dad who had turned my world upside down on his kitchen counter. Apparently he had been out of town on business but he hadn't even bothered to text or call me. It hurt. A lot.
I slouch in an armchair watching some makeup tutorials on YouTube. The usual nonsense, I can't focus on anything.
Three knocks at the door. Stumbling up from the chair, I lurch towards the front door half asleep and pull several chains off it before opening reluctantly.
It's Kinsey. I know it seems stupid to say but after everything that transpired with her dad, she was honestly the last person I wanted to see.
"Rach. Let's go to the Lake House for the weekend. Jeremy and Wade and their crew are coming as well. C'mon it'll be fun." Jeremy and crew, yay, total airheads from high school, Jeremy who had never stopped hitting on me for two years. Great. But maybe the distraction would do me some good, away from all the craziness that had ensued over here. My mind hops around in circles before I nod slowly. I needed a break from the house.
So we jumped in the van and shot off to the Lake. There were eight of us maybe, Me, Kinsey, Jeremy, Wade and their buddies, three other girls and another guy.
The Friday and Saturday passed by so fast I barely noticed it. We went wakeboarding, did the barbecue, did some hiking, it was a good time. But I was in a blurry daze for most of it, barely registering everything that was going on, just going through the motions.
Saturday evening came around. It's late, 9pm maybe, the fire crackling and everyone gathered around playing pool and chatting. I'm watching, sipping on a seltzer but my mind is completely elsewhere. Wade hits a nice shot, striking the cue ball cleanly and potting his last colour before the black ball. Cheering and yelling he slaps Kinsey's hand with a quick high five. I knew Kinsey had a little crush on Wade but I couldn't honestly figure out why, he was your typical douchey college bro, a resounding turn-off for me. Kinsey suddenly reaches into her jean pocket to pull out her phone and quickly swipes to the notification.
Kinsey looks up from her phone, disappointment wrought all across her face.
"My dad's coming over tonight, just for the night I think, he wants to do something on the boat in the morning or something stupid like that. He should be here in a few minutes."
My blood freezes. He's coming. Here.
"Oh that's cool I guess." I blurt out without too much thought.
"How's that cool? Total mood killer." Wade chimes in from the couch after nailing his last shot, chugging a Budweiser till his lips nearly permanently attach to the bottle. "Is he staying in the house?"
Kinsey sighs, clearly not thrilled by the prospect either. "I've no idea. Maybe he'll take his boat out and give us some peace."
"I'm going out for a bit babe, just need a walk. I shouldn't be too long."
"Rach, stay, the party is just getting started."
She's getting wasted. Barely coherent in her words. She'd forget I was gone in 10 minutes.
"Just go Rach, who knows maybe you can find Mister Schwartz out there and keep him away from the fun." Wade chimes in with a quick sarcastic jab and smiles a little, pleased with his teenage humour.
"Wade!" Kinsey playfully punches him on the arm as he tickles her back. Grade-A dick.
I smile wryly and grab my jacket, pushing through the big oak door. Kinsey could have Wade, I had to make peace with something else.
The evening is beautiful, glossy shimmers cascading across the lake, the lights from the house twinkling against the first stars as the very last of the fading sunlight falls beyond the horizon. Faint sounds of birds and insects can be heard, bustling in the grass and the nearby trees. I can't see his car anywhere, maybe he was coming down the path.
But my thoughts are interrupted as soon as they begin.
"Rach!!" I turn around to see him standing near the lake edge there in his manly glory next to the Bentley. He's wearing a tank top with chinos, his rippling muscles bulging in every direction, giving me my first visual pleasure of the trip. I'd forgotten what non-douchey actually looked like. His locks catch the reflection of the light, still resting above the start of his top and splaying around his neck. The vivid memories of the other day surge back into my head. But I couldn't get too distracted, I needed to get to the bottom of why he had ignored me.
"Matt. I don't think I want to talk to you right now."
"I know, I should have texted. I said I would and I didn't, I know you're hurting."
Damn straight. I stay silent, shuffling my feet on the ground. Was I not really good enough for him, were there other girls in the equation? A guy like this, how could there not be? Was I just some prize he could collect, bragging rights with his VC buddies?
"I've texted Kinsey, I'm staying out on the boat tonight. Give the guys some space." His voice hits me like a good wine, it was difficult to forget its effect on me. I'm being transported back to his words on that kitchen counter. The baritone notes ring out across the water and he takes a few steps towards me, locking the Bentley with a flick of his wrist.
"Why the fuck didn't you text me Matt? After everything that happened?" I fold my arms, indignation running through me like never before as my blood boils a little and my face gets hotter.
"I've been busy. I know it's not an excuse but the firm was in meltdown, I had to pull out all the stops. I was on constant call. I've barely had time to shower."
"Not one minute to text me in all that time." My arms stay folded trying to coax a satisfactory answer out of him.
"My head wasn't in the right space." He was pulling out all the cliched excuses.
"I don't think you give a damn about me, I think I'm just a trophy for you. You got to fuck your daughter's best friend, congratulations."
He comes closer to me, his green eyes becoming more and more apparent, the fragrance from a few days ago, flooding back into my consciousness. It is the same rum and sandalwood. I'm reminded of exactly how tall he is as his figure blocks out the light from the house. The veins on his biceps protrude a mile out of his arms as the heat gives his definition an extra shimmer.
"Why do you think I came to the Lake House? When I heard Kinsey had brought you guys here, I knew I had to come along as well. Getting out on the boat? Please."
"Oh is that really why you came?" I try not to betray it but my heart lifts on his words, a little excitement lacing my question. Maybe, just maybe, he did care, why come to the lake otherwise? Boating was a dumb excuse, he could do that anywhere he wanted to.
His eyes are locked on mine, his dark gaze burying far within me. He wasn't lying. I could read it, there was no disguising his feelings. I could read people well, he was being honest, he wanted me. His expression lightens a little as he sees my emotions subdue slightly, my breathing slow down from the raging tantrum I was building up to.
"I want to show you something."
"What exactly?" My arms loosen from the rigid crossover hold,
"There's a small island, on the other side of the lake. Always used to go diving off there."
I laugh. "Late night diving, really?" He reaches out to my shoulder and steadies his hand there.
"Maybe not diving but I can show you some of the true beauty of this space."
This was happening all over again. I couldn't stay mad at this man, his words unlock me, they relax me, comfort me completely. I feel safe with him. Maybe it was weakness, maybe I was too inexperienced with men, I was only eighteen for goodness sakes, but my body is calling for it, I want to be tamed, I want to melt into him.
"Sure. I'd like that."
--
We move across the water at rapid speed. The whole trip to the island passes in silence. I stand next to him looking up at him. He has a steely expression, a determined focus on his face as we rip quietly through the water on the boat. We pull up to a very small jetty with a couple of tying off points. He jumps out as the boat comes to a crawl and wraps
We sit on the beach and look up at the stars overhead. His hands planted firmly behind him as we talk. I was curious about the last few days, I wanted to know more about his work, about him, about everything he did. Kinsey had kept me in the dark for so many years. For his age he was a ball of so much energy, so many ideas and fascinating theories on the world. I could listen all day and all night.