I woke before Graham. I was glad I had because I needed some time to think. I watched Graham sleep and thought about how lucky I was to have him. I remembered last night and knew I had to face some facts. I realized there were issues that I needed to deal with. I now understood I enjoyed showing my body. I liked being used, I liked being used in public. Fucking and sucking other people turned me on more than I can say. I needed to feel like I was a slut and tramp. I never felt so alive as when I laid on that pool table and was used until I could no longer cum. I can remember being eaten by a woman and loved it. The taste of pussy and cum still was fresh on my mind. It makes me wet just to think of it. All of these things were a part of what makes me, me. I knew I had to explain that to my husband, but the thought of losing him scared me to death. I would push that part of me away if it meant not having him in my life, but I hoped beyond hope he would understand.
I was in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee when Graham walked in. I smiled, kissed him and fixed him a cup. We sat at the table, sipping our coffee. I looked into his eyes, trying to read his mood. I didn't know what kind of reaction he had to what had taken place in the bar. I looked deep into him and saw only love. I told him we needed to talk. Graham smiled and said he knew we did. I knew I had to be the one to begin. I looked into his eyes and told him I loved him. I said that I had spent the morning facing some facts about myself. I told him I realized I enjoyed some things I never even dreamed I would do. I told him about the things I enjoyed. I also said I would give those things up if it meant I would lose him. I tried to make him understand these were things I couldn't seem to control. I said I had spent most of my adult life loving him and I wasn't prepared to give that up. Graham looked into my eyes and smiled. He said he had realized the same things I had. He told me not to be afraid of my feelings and not to worry about losing him. He said he felt he could deal with the new me.
I couldn't believe the words I heard coming from my husband's mouth. He told me he would go along with the way I dressed, showing my body in public. He said he would allow me to fuck and suck anyone I wished, experience anything I desired. Graham told me the only reason he fucked the girl at the bar was that I had turned him on so much he had to relieve himself. The only stipulation he would put on my actions was that he had to be there at the time. He said it was for my own safety, and if done without him, would be the same as cheating. I sat stunned. I could not believe what I was hearing. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Trembling, I asked if he was sure. He looked into my eyes and told me he wanted me to be happy, to be me. Graham said he understood the difference between sex and love and knew he did not want me to live a life that wasn't really me. Besides, he said, he was proud of the woman he married and he wanted to share the pleasure I gave him with men who had never experienced what I gave him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out some cash. He handed it to me and told me to go shopping and buy myself some new outfits.