Deeās downfall is complete with this chapter. She thanks all of her fans for their support, though urges them to stay in touch, since she now faces an extreme dilemma and plans to continue recording her experiences elsewhere. Please send feedback for more information and, above all, vote!
My love affair with Jack Taylor was over, as was the remodel job on my house that heād been commissioned to do. Small wonder, since Iād been leading a double life with him, fucking nearly every man I came across, without him knowing. It was Jack whoād set my libido free. Jack, only the second man Iād ever made love with. And maybe the only man Iād ever loved, truly loved, with a rich, mature love rather than a childish, virginal, Catholic girlās love. But just like losing oneās virginity makes it easier to make love to a second and third man, I imagine that violating my wedding vows made subsequent infidelities seem somehow less sinful. But I loved Jack. Iād wanted to marry him. Iāll always love him.
But when heād caught me screwing his Russian construction foreman, Sergei, on Saturday afternoon, it had destroyed whatever was left of his tender feelings for me. At least thatās what I thought was the reason for our break-up. I felt nearly suicidal, just imagining the future without Jack.
āClaudia, what am I going to do?ā I tearfully asked my 24-year-old roommate that Saturday evening. āThe main reason I divorced Frank ā other than his abuse and weird fetishes ā was because of Jack!ā She was nearly as shattered as I was. Part of her sorrow, of course, was because sheād previously joined Jack and me in a threesome. That was one of the reasons sheād welcomed the opportunity to move in with me when my husband had leftā¦to have more such chances.
āWhy did you have to fuck those guys?ā I asked her, sorrowfully. I was lamenting the fact that Iād discovered the gorgeous, chestnut-haired Claudia carnally entertaining three of Sergeiās workmen in her bedroom that afternoon. The sight had turned me on so much that Iād dragged the stocky Russian into my bathroom, of all places, so that I could get a little sexual enjoyment of my own. Thatās when Jack had caught us.
Though I held her in no way responsible for my actions, her initial justification was: āWell, I thought that if you could do six guys at a time at the Club, Iād see if I could handle at least three!ā Claudia was jealous of my new membership in an exclusive sex club for the rich and influential, and constantly asked if she could visit the clubhouse, hoping eventually to become affiliated.
Regardless of Claudiaās competitive nature, my life was in a shambles. My affair with Jack had been pivotal in it being turned upside down. In addition to my adultery, such an absurdly distant possibility a few months before, Iād been raped, developed a drug dependence, become addicted to sex ā which was now being further fed by the Club affiliation ā and had divorced my husband. The only outstanding plusses were the divorce, since my abusive husband had been cheating on me for years, and my house remodel project, which Jack, as its designer, had managed. I still questioned my decision to gain membership in the sex club, though I was assured by my boss ā a dentist and my Club sponsor ā that it would help me because of the wealthy, powerful contacts I could make in the future.
I had fallen so far, it seemed, from being the naĆÆve, faithful, working housewife of a few months before. My once pristine speech had also suffered. I not only thought in the most prurient of ways, but had also become a āgarbage mouth,ā using the filthiest of language. Yet I wondered if all these things were the true reasons for Jack pulling away from me. My fear of him prevented me from questioning him too much on Sunday. Heād come to the house himself to finish up the dining room, the last remodel task, since the previous day heād thrashed Sergei in a rage and banished him from the site, and had fired the workers whoād gang banged Claudia upstairs. Heād also offered my 19-year-old neighbor, Billy, a job on a large, out-of-town project, since the young man had proven himself on my remodel job. Iād seduced Billy weeks before and, on occasion, heād shared my bed when I desperately needed affection, but now he was gone too! As a nagging reminder, Billy had convinced us, for our own protection, to adopt his Great Dane, Thor, a giant, even-tempered dog whoād become a devoted companion to Claudia and me. Thor had immediately taken up residence in my roommateās bedroomā¦something that I now suspected was due to a devotion deeper than one finds in a typical canine-mistress relationship.
As so often happens, I thought, now that Iām divorced, Jack may possibly have become afraid of getting too closeā¦too close to committing to me. In any case, when he left Sunday evening ā though heād said heād call ā I didnāt expect to hear from him soon, and my spirits once again plummeted. With the exception of Claudia and my work mates, I felt friendless and ā worse ā loveless. I was afraid that Iād drift into bitter isolationā¦and develop even more onerous habits.
āDee Dee,ā Claudia said, āweāve gotta get you into social circulation to improve your outlook. Between the two of us, guys should be breaking down the doors. We should have a party!ā