Deirdre's Downfall

Dee’s downfall is complete with this chapter. She thanks all of her fans for their support, though urges them to stay in touch, since she now faces an extreme dilemma and plans to continue recording her experiences elsewhere. Please send feedback for more information and, above all, vote!

My love affair with Jack Taylor was over, as was the remodel job on my house that he’d been commissioned to do. Small wonder, since I’d been leading a double life with him, fucking nearly every man I came across, without him knowing. It was Jack who’d set my libido free. Jack, only the second man I’d ever made love with. And maybe the only man I’d ever loved, truly loved, with a rich, mature love rather than a childish, virginal, Catholic girl’s love. But just like losing one’s virginity makes it easier to make love to a second and third man, I imagine that violating my wedding vows made subsequent infidelities seem somehow less sinful. But I loved Jack. I’d wanted to marry him. I’ll always love him.

But when he’d caught me screwing his Russian construction foreman, Sergei, on Saturday afternoon, it had destroyed whatever was left of his tender feelings for me. At least that’s what I thought was the reason for our break-up. I felt nearly suicidal, just imagining the future without Jack.

“Claudia, what am I going to do?” I tearfully asked my 24-year-old roommate that Saturday evening. “The main reason I divorced Frank – other than his abuse and weird fetishes – was because of Jack!” She was nearly as shattered as I was. Part of her sorrow, of course, was because she’d previously joined Jack and me in a threesome. That was one of the reasons she’d welcomed the opportunity to move in with me when my husband had left…to have more such chances.

“Why did you have to fuck those guys?” I asked her, sorrowfully. I was lamenting the fact that I’d discovered the gorgeous, chestnut-haired Claudia carnally entertaining three of Sergei’s workmen in her bedroom that afternoon. The sight had turned me on so much that I’d dragged the stocky Russian into my bathroom, of all places, so that I could get a little sexual enjoyment of my own. That’s when Jack had caught us.

Though I held her in no way responsible for my actions, her initial justification was: “Well, I thought that if you could do six guys at a time at the Club, I’d see if I could handle at least three!” Claudia was jealous of my new membership in an exclusive sex club for the rich and influential, and constantly asked if she could visit the clubhouse, hoping eventually to become affiliated.

Regardless of Claudia’s competitive nature, my life was in a shambles. My affair with Jack had been pivotal in it being turned upside down. In addition to my adultery, such an absurdly distant possibility a few months before, I’d been raped, developed a drug dependence, become addicted to sex – which was now being further fed by the Club affiliation – and had divorced my husband. The only outstanding plusses were the divorce, since my abusive husband had been cheating on me for years, and my house remodel project, which Jack, as its designer, had managed. I still questioned my decision to gain membership in the sex club, though I was assured by my boss – a dentist and my Club sponsor – that it would help me because of the wealthy, powerful contacts I could make in the future.

I had fallen so far, it seemed, from being the naïve, faithful, working housewife of a few months before. My once pristine speech had also suffered. I not only thought in the most prurient of ways, but had also become a “garbage mouth,” using the filthiest of language. Yet I wondered if all these things were the true reasons for Jack pulling away from me. My fear of him prevented me from questioning him too much on Sunday. He’d come to the house himself to finish up the dining room, the last remodel task, since the previous day he’d thrashed Sergei in a rage and banished him from the site, and had fired the workers who’d gang banged Claudia upstairs. He’d also offered my 19-year-old neighbor, Billy, a job on a large, out-of-town project, since the young man had proven himself on my remodel job. I’d seduced Billy weeks before and, on occasion, he’d shared my bed when I desperately needed affection, but now he was gone too! As a nagging reminder, Billy had convinced us, for our own protection, to adopt his Great Dane, Thor, a giant, even-tempered dog who’d become a devoted companion to Claudia and me. Thor had immediately taken up residence in my roommate’s bedroom…something that I now suspected was due to a devotion deeper than one finds in a typical canine-mistress relationship.

As so often happens, I thought, now that I’m divorced, Jack may possibly have become afraid of getting too close…too close to committing to me. In any case, when he left Sunday evening – though he’d said he’d call – I didn’t expect to hear from him soon, and my spirits once again plummeted. With the exception of Claudia and my work mates, I felt friendless and – worse – loveless. I was afraid that I’d drift into bitter isolation…and develop even more onerous habits.

“Dee Dee,” Claudia said, “we’ve gotta get you into social circulation to improve your outlook. Between the two of us, guys should be breaking down the doors. We should have a party!”

I flattered myself in thinking that I might be a bit more discriminating than my young roommate when it came to men but – on reflection – that wasn’t so, since it seemed I was the bigger slut of the two…and I should know better. Besides, whom would we invite to a party? My conservative Italian parents, who were heartbroken by my divorce?

On Monday I told my boss, Dr. Neil, about losing Jack...but spared him the dirty details. Though he showed much empathy, his optimism overcame everything else, and he tried to convince me that my love life would improve, that it would take time, and – because of this experience – would next time have a more “rational” basis. At the end of the conversation I felt as if he’d somehow missed a meeting when it came to discussing matters of the heart…and sensed that he was relieved that Jack and I had split up.

My work mate Mandy – herself a member of Dr. Neil’s sex club since his father had inducted her in her early twenties – felt sorry for me. She liked Jack…and thought he was very sexy. Ultimately, she thought that the relationship had been good for me. Otherwise, she said, I’d probably still be married to my duplicitous husband, Frank. Her solution was for me to jump immediately into Club activities and not look back. Mandy, herself, had done that very thing a generation ago – as a single mother – right after her daughter had been born. I shuddered at the thought of my life paralleling hers, although thus far, because of my ex’s inadequate sperm, I was still childless, a status about which I was now ambivalent.

Nevertheless, I prepared to follow her advice…without a child, of course, regardless of my desire to be a parent. Though I cried myself to sleep the next few nights after masturbating in bed, on Thursday evening I happily looked forward to helping a new friend, Emilie, who was assistant directing a show in the Club’s “Wildlife Room.” Emilie, a tall, statuesque, bisexual blonde, had played a female supporting role in my audition skit, and was a real pro. I had to be careful with her, though, since she lusted after me, and the last thing I needed was a lesbian relationship; another one, that is, in addition to the times Claudia and I had been together. As a new member, barely familiar with the organization’s entertainment offerings, I didn’t actively participate in Emilie’s show…and it’s a good thing I hadn’t been asked to. It involved lewd scenes with animals, and after it was over I felt repulsed and a bit sick to my stomach. Neither Dr. Neil, my sponsor, nor Mandy, herself an accomplished play director, was there to see it. But the following day at work they’d heard about it. Privately, they soothed my ruffled feelings and asked me just to chalk up the event to experience.

So, I took Claudia’s advice and decided to have a backyard party on Saturday. Since notice was so short, and part of the reason for the party was for her to meet club members, I invited Dr. Neil, Emilie, and Mandy. That way they could meet my roommate away from the clubhouse, take her measure, and see if – at some point – she might be membership material, given her extraordinary beauty, love of sex, and credentials as an architect. I informed her and she was overjoyed. We planned a backyard barbeque – also using my new hot tub and spa in the gazebo – and she requested that her twin brother, Benjie, be invited for the weekend from L.A. She didn’t have to sell me too hard on that idea, since we’d had a sensational threesome that had included him a couple of weeks previously, plus my dawn quickie with him the next morning…and I knew that I’d be unbearably horny by Saturday. At the same time I’d have to restrain my lascivious behavior. I’d also need to limit my drug intake to alcohol, to adhere to Dr. Neil’s explicit “rules,” since he was my club sponsor as well as my boss, and had recently given me a huge raise, dependent on my following his therapeutic dictates.

Dr. Neil was also very pleased to be invited, since his wife was taking their kids to his mother-in-law’s for the weekend. When I asked him what he’d like me to serve for food, he replied, “I don’t know, surprise me!” Without letting on, I remembered what he’d said two weeks before about any future trysts that we might have: that he’d “much prefer to be surprised.” My spirits rose a bit as I began to picture Saturday afternoon and evening in my mind. Will Dr. Neil feel dominant or submissive, I wondered, remembering his sexual split personality. I was secretly pleased that Mandy was committed for the weekend and couldn’t attend, since her presence would probably diminish the boss’s spontaneity.

On Friday night, Claudia and I marinated chicken breasts in white wine and capers to barbeque the next day. A highly seasoned macaroni salad and fresh vegetables with a thick garlic sauce fleshed out the menu. For dessert, we settled on fresh orange slices and Grand Marnier. But the real party hit would be pitchers of icy margaritas, with freshly ground salt.

Claudia’s twin brother, Benjie, flew in from L.A. Friday night, and took a shuttle from the airport to the house. The three of us had a great time after a late snack, drinking wine and listening to music. Though Claudia and her twin brother spent the night together, which was their incestuous habit, I showed marked restraint in not joining them, since – among other things – she’d told me she was going to give him some special lovemaking lessons.

I had a very sensuous dream about Jack that night, which segued into fucking with Benjie as my subconscious memory recreated the events of the last time he’d visited. My mind was obviously telling me to spend time with him between the sheets at some point over the next two days. With Claudia and Benjie together, Billy’s dog, Thor, slept on the bed next to me, since he’d been banished from Claudia’s room. Before I slept, he watched me masturbate with my dildo – with black, soulful eyes – until I had an orgasm and fell asleep.

Saturday we all slept late, and I awoke tense, telling myself to behave discreetly with Benjie or suffer Dr. Neil’s retribution. We had brunch, anticipating having the main meal of the day during the party. It was a gorgeous, warm California day and I was excited by its promise. We immediately jumped into casual clothes, preferring to clean up later, before the guests arrived. I wore short, denim shorts and a purple halter top, without a bra. Claudia wore skin-tight, dark green, hip hugger shorts and a cropped, light green tank top. Of course, since she considers bras very confining, her fulsome breasts were prominently featured as we cleaned the house. Benjie didn’t wear a shirt – just cargo shorts – which caused my pulse to race each time I looked at him. His buff build had been burnished to a deep, golden tan by the southern California sun…an unusual occurrence, given his fair skin. I tried, but didn’t succeed, to keep from touching his bare flesh when we spoke…as I made various points in conversation. He looked at me each time my fingers stroked his yummy muscles and, though I only succeeded in making myself increasingly tense, I seemed to make lots of those conversational points with him as we vacuumed the floors, dusted and washed windows.

Since the whole hot tub setup was new to me, I asked Benjie to show me its operation. The tub had been mounted under the deck of the roofed gazebo, its top flush with the floor, with a round plank cover that was removable. The spa could be used in any weather, given the gazebo’s round, peaked roof. It was a large fiberglass tub, with many jets that sprayed with different intensities, and had room enough for a dozen beefy adults. Jack’s design had cushioned benches on the deck surrounding it inside the gazebo enclosure, and had located all except the operating controls under the deck, on the opposite side from the house and hidden from view behind a lattice door.

After he’d lifted the cover off the spa, which then served as a round dining table supported on hinged legs while rigged for a sun umbrella, Benjie called me to the backyard for my mechanical familiarization lesson. Walking around the gazebo’s back and squatting, we peered into the gloom under the deck as he showed me the master switches and a couple of dials, the purposes of which I immediately forgot. “I’ll show ya’ the warmth and intensity controls when we go up top, Dee Dee,” he said, as I shifted and started to fall over. I grabbed his thigh to steady myself at the same moment that he reached for mine to help me. It wasn’t as if I’d hurt myself if I rolled a couple of inches onto the new sod…but if I hadn’t gripped his thigh and my hand hadn’t slid upward to his crotch – accidentally, really! – I wouldn’t have discovered that his big cock was nearly hard.

I looked from the controls to him, and sat back on my buttocks with parted legs, bracing myself with my arms behind me. He turned to me, kneeling, to reveal the prominent bulge down the leg of his shorts. I’d truly wanted to avoid this, at least before the party, yet it had been a week since I’d had any sexual contact with a man – a record period of abstinence for me over the past months – and my head was swimming with vivid memories of his naked, muscular body. The sight of his swelling groin made me tingle and glow, yet I tried to stem my excitement by scooting backward, away from him.

He went to his knees between my parted legs and gasped, “Dammit, Dee Dee, every time ya’ touch me I almost cream my jeans!”

My breasts started heaving from shallow, excited breaths as I looked into his green eyes. The desire that shone in them was so infectious, and I felt my panties moistening. I didn’t give myself time to answer the question, “Should I or should I not?” as I reached one hand tentatively toward his middle. My brain told me to pay the price later. He shuffled forward on his knees between my bare legs and my fingertips grazed the outline of his member, warm to the touch and now completely hard and pushing open one leg of his shorts. As I stroked the khaki bulge a couple of times he groaned…and I knew that I was lost as I relieved my tension with an involuntary gasp and groped for him, curling my fingers over his waistband and pulling him toward me. His thick arms surrounded me and I leaned back slowly – my heart racing – to feel the cool grass on my back and shoulders.

I held his big body with all four of my limbs, kicking off my sandals so that I could push my pelvis against his by digging my heels into his magnificent thighs without scratching him. Our mouths were locked in a wet kiss that formed an open passage for our thrashing tongues. We broke for a moment and he untied the knot holding my halter top behind my neck, baring my excited breasts. “Bennnjieee,” I whined, as his slick lips drooled onto one of my tits, vacuuming its firm flesh into his hot mouth. A calloused hand teased the hard, tender nipple of the other as my trembling fingers finally plucked open the button on his shorts and unzipped them. I pushed them down roughly, grunting as I did so, until – yessss – his cock popped free of its constraints and began moving in and out of both my cradling hands firmly, hotly. We both moaned as I caressed his steely weapon, which was already dribbling his fluid onto my thighs.

By that time he’d unfastened my shorts and was pulling them down. We lifted our hips, his off me and mine off the ground simultaneously, and our garments were quickly down and off our feet. I tried to rise, wanting to lick and suck his prick, but Benjie held me firmly, indicating his desire to penetrate me at once. I threw back my head and moaned, “Ohhhh…Benjieee,” as he stirred his glans in the folds of my sopping opening. I’d not shaved my pussy for days and was conscious of the stubble that had grown on the outer lips of my vulva, but he just groaned affirmatively as he rubbed his blunt, dark red crown against it, preparing to plunge into me. I drew back my legs, then lifted my ankles high, holding them up by grasping my calves…and he continued stirring with his dick, which now was making cyclical contact with my swollen clit. Each time his spongy cock head grazed the sensitive nubbin a spark would zap up my vagina, and I’d close my eyes to see flashes of white light paint the inside of my lids. I was now murmuring regular, quiet moans, “Ohh…ohh…ohh…ohh…ohh,” as he stirred into me more deeply. He was opening my wet folds with his cock, more so with each reaming motion, and deeper with each move, as I felt cool air inside my heated vagina.

I heard the screen door leading into the kitchen slam closed and assumed that Claudia had either come out or, having discovered our coupling, had gone back in without interrupting us. Either way, I didn’t care, as I was delirious with desire by this time. I released my upraised legs, now tingling from loss of blood, and brought my calves down to wrap them around Benjie’s hard buttocks. He then pushed all the way into me, as if my movement had been a signal, and I responded with a relieved “Ohhhhaaahhhhnnngh” when his cock touched my cervix.

This is heavenly, I thought, moved to delight by a sweet, sneaky feeling of guilt at having challenged one of Dr. Neil’s rules about fucking outside the Club membership. But Benjie was almost family, I rationalized, then gave that up to concentrate on what we were doing. I couldn’t, though, since the whole setting was so idyllic: it was a picture-perfect morning in early Summer; we were hidden from view behind my gazebo on freshly laid sod; the fragrant odors of flowers and grass were everywhere as he plowed into me; we’d given in to our mounting desire and – to put it very simply – we were fucking outdoors like two horny, pastoral animals. We were also adding our own odors to the mix, as my pussy – uncleaned for over 24 hours – dribbled its smelly nectar down between my butt cheeks, and the combined sweat from our unwashed bodies began to make us slippery and fetid, even though we were in the shade.

Our body movements were responding to the scene as well. Though amazingly excited at first, we’d relaxed a bit into a steady rhythm, moving languidly against one another as fully as Benjie’s generous length would allow. It was deathly quiet, save for our heavy breathing, murmuring, or the odd butterfly fluttering past…and the soft, licking sound of my cunt lips lapping at his rigid meat. “Ooooohh, Benjie…I luuuuuv this,” I whispered in his ear, my throat clenching in delirious joy. He responded by capturing my mouth with his and plumbing it deeply with his tongue, then resumed his stirring motions – this time high up inside – and I wondered where he’d learned the little trick, since he’d been much more basic a couple of weeks before. Regardless of the source of his new technique, I was very gradually approaching an orgasmic plateau, and began moaning as I progressed. “Mmmnnn-hmm…mmmnnn-hmm…mmmnnn-hmm,” I groaned deeply as we fucked, a bit faster now.