This is an account of the last couple of years; I've changed the names of the people involved for obvious reasons. I've named my husband 'Ernie', after the Sesame St character, which is relatable since he's such a simpleton.
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My husband of 10 years is a douche-bag. More specifically he is a controlling, manipulative, whinging little boy. He prances around like he is the king of the world. His elevated sense of self worth extends to treating me like a second class citizen at times. A self appointed dictator that controls our home life, treating me like I'm a minimum wage employee on a week by week trial. If you haven't guessed already, I'm fucken over it.
Possibly his only redeeming feature is he's a horny prick, and I'd rather have my pussy dripping from a good orgasm than not. Needless to say, I'm a horny bitch as well and as long as he manages to keep it up long enough to pound my cunt, my skin is thick enough to put up with his derogatory habits a bit longer.
Mark my words though, one day I will say enough! And I will leave this hell on earth relationship. I'm in my late 30's and I don't fancy 25 to life behind bars just because I accidentally stabbed my beloved 37 times.... I don't think "Oops" is a very convincing defense.
Needless to say, I need a hobby......
Hubby dearest has a chequered past, two kids to two different women, one failed marriage already, and a path of broken friendships as well.
One of these past friendships ended abruptly a few months before I met my future spouse, and 8 years later, they decided maybe there was enough water under the bridge to start the friendship again.
So began the renewed friend courtship. First the initial phone call, a couple of meetings, all very nice, and then they were back to where they left off 8 years prior.
Except I was a stranger in the mix, so I took things a lot slower as I had no investment in this relationship and in all fairness I wasn't overly optimistic about becoming an integral part of this brat-pack. And if they were as thick as my hubby, I wasn't sure I wanted to anyway.
But I was in for a pleasant surprise, Wendy and Dave were really nice, and that's saying something coming from me, as I generally can't be assed with people.
They went out of their way to make me feel welcome and once we got to know each other, we had a lot of fun together, Wendy would usually pair up with Ernie as they had drinking in common. And Dave and I both not being big drinkers would battle wits. I often blame my higher than average IQ for not getting with people, but Dave matched me on that intellectual plane, which was refreshing. I know a "battle of wits" is a bit of a cliche but we did, over and over, in person, on the phone, in emails and even with online gaming. It was refreshing to have someone "get" you where most other dumb-asses just didn't get it.
Enter a New Year, and life from the outside looking in looks good, but Ernie has a new job, which makes him act like Hitler's ball sack. He works late (or stays out to avoid coming home), and I suspect he has a bit of muff on the side. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the solitude but I'd prefer it was because I was widowed, not because he's fucking some fat cow in company time. And for now I have a big stash of AA batteries to run my resonating mechanical cock and stimulating conversation in between with Dave.
Ernie even occasionally still makes a surprise visit home and ploughs me into the mattress. Adultery is just a recipe for guilt sex.
God damn, looks like I get my cake and can eat it too! Or so I thought.
But all is not happy in this princess's kingdom, and bitterness creeps in like a festering winter fog.
To say I have always had darkness in me lingering is an understatement. I also have a supremacy complex (self diagnosis), so given a situation, I'm going to do my utmost to come out best off, and be fucked if anyone gets in my way. Self preservation at any cost bitches!!
I confide in Dave all of my suspicions, and he has noticed Ernie getting more distant with them also. I have an ally in my battle, so I confide further about how I hate my marriage, and have done for a long time. Whether intentional or not at that stage, battle lines between Ernie and I are being drawn. And I intend to take my fair share of the spoils of war, including his friends which are probably more valuable than his stupid fucken model collection.
Dave has a bigger percentage of his brain being used than Ernie, so he tends to say a lot of nicer well thought out things than Ernie ever did (or maybe it's because Ernie was always an asshole). But he insists I deserve better, and given a bit of time, I will see an end to the misery.
I hold nothing back from Dave now, and openly tell him of taunting Ernie by lying next to him in bed while masturbating with my vibrator, up and down my clit with a grand finale of a shuddering orgasm. I even make a point of moaning excessively to really piss Ernie off. I think that's blunt enough for even that idiot husband to get.
Dave replied that if whoever had half a brain lying next to you, they would be going down on me with a hunger as I deserved nothing less.
As much as I've just said I'm intelligent, I can't help but sit here with an expression like the proverbial dumb fuck. Dave implied anybody, not specifically Ernie. Interesting...
And now that my stupid look has passed, this statement deserves further investigation, for no other reason but because I'm an evil bitch (I've already told you that).
So enter my exploratory mode, I make a point of each conversation of bringing up specific topics with Dave. Lesbianism, how I'm down with it, how many partners I've been with, biggest orgasm I've ever had, and how I need sex every day, basically implying I'm a slutty "fuck anything" nymphomaniac. Each new scenario or story I introduce, noting the reaction. What the conclusions will be, who cares, I'm having fun with it, all the power to me!
As my test progresses, I start to gather more intelligence on Dave. He likes foreplay, which in itself is weird; guys don't do that as a rule. It's not a bad weird, because we can all do with more foreplay, right ladies?
I've now gathered Dave's confidence in my hand and I'm stroking it gently as we proceed. I'm pretty sure I have a captive audience now, but I need to test this theory, which by chance will present itself next time we talk.
We are both home alone, talking on the net, and I've been grilling Dave for an hour now about what he likes sexually. My snatch is already dripping, I really like the naughty 20 questions game, a little too much I suspect.
I ask if I can ring him to continue the conversation, I'm in this real deep now, and I need a confirmation that he is too. I need to hear him say he will fuck me, even if it is only virtually over the phone. Evil and horny is where I'm at right now.
Dave agrees, so I ring, and I'm not pulling any punches here, I'm straight in with my vibrator, it slips into my wet cunt with ease, and I'm lost in beautiful vibrations deep in me. I do however make a point of informing him, like any good phone slut would.
I hold the receiver down there to hammer it home. Dave gets really into it and tells of the ways he would please me.