His name was Eric Mahen, and I'll never forget him. He taught me who I really am. Most people go through an entire life before they really get a feeling for who they are, deep down inside. A lot of people never even think to wonder. But I wondered, and Eric helped me find out.
I was eighteen, a senior in high school, and I was kind of a nobody. I mean, I was pretty, and guys had asked me out and stuff, but I turned them all down, because I was too shy. Nobody persisted, and I was content to study and be alone, or at least I thought I was. It was lonely though, even keeping my friends at a little distance.
I couldn't help being shy, painfully shy. I mean I'd been hurt before, and looking back, something inside me was broken, some fundamental ability to trust. Then in November of my senior year, Eric asked me out. I told him no just like I did everybody else, but he kept asking. I think even then he knew I was lonely and trapped in my own little cage. Finally after 2 weeks, he wore down my resistance and I said yes. It was a fast and wonderful relationship, he really showed me how much he loved me. Somehow, I managed to actually trust him. Yeah, I know, he's a master manipulator, but I know it's what I needed then. Nobody else could have made me trust, and he *did* always have my best interest in mind. For months we dated, and I slept with him a lot. I'd been on the pill since I was 12, mostly because it made things less painful for me every month.
Anyway, one day, he asked me if I trusted him completely. I thought about it, and told him yes I did, and he told me he could help me learn to trust others too. Now, we were into bondage and control play, and when I submitted to him, he made me feel alive in a way I didn't feel during the day, going to school or my part-time job. So I had some idea what he was asking when he asked if I trusted him.
He told me it would have to be a surprise, because it would ruin it if I knew what to expect, but that he would protect me, and be right there no matter what. He knew what I could handle and what I couldn't, even better than I did I think. He even told me that no matter what, if I made the "OK" sign with my hand, that would stop *anything* going on. It was our safe word, our way for me to let him know if things got too intense during our bondage play, so it was nothing new.
He'd never made me use it, either.
For weeks I was on edge, a little excited and a lot afraid, but nothing happened. I thought maybe he'd forgotten, or maybe it was just a way for him to find out what he could get away with, so I eventually shrugged it off. Did I mention he's a master manipulator?
One day, after school, he was walking me home when this car screeched to a halt in front of us and two boys stepped out. I turned to run and he grabbed me by the shoulders. I looked into his eyes terrified for my life, and saw in him love, sincerity and a healthy dose of lust. I knew that look, and I struggled, but not too much. I knew he had it all under control.
The boys shoved me into the back seat, sitting on either side of me, while Eric sat up front with the driver. It was scary, sitting between the other boys, both had asked me out the year before and I'd denied them. But there were Eric's eyes, protective, watching in the mirror. I was safe, even with James and Vince pawing at me.
The ride seemed like it lasted for hours, but we ended up back at the school we just left. It looked completely deserted. I was a little scared still, as the boys hauled me into the school through the wood shop door, which had been blocked open with a wooden wedge. Once inside, James and Vince picked me up but the wrists and ankles and carried me through the darkening hallways. We reached the auditorium doors, and Eric let us in. The fear in me was growing, and I think Eric saw it in my eyes, because he had the boys put me down, and he picked me up instead. He carried me over his shoulder like a sack, and suddenly it wasn't so scary. He was in control, and he would never hurt me, or let anyone else.
Once he reached the stage, he put me down again, and held me while James and Vince tied some ropes to my wrists. They were surprisingly gentle, and even used some foam padding to keep the ropes from hurting my wrists. However, it was tight enough I knew I wasn't getting free on my own.
"Er-" his hand covered my mouth before I could even finish his name, a finger waved in front of my face warningly, but his eyes were laughing. I bit my tongue lightly and nodded, and he pulled out a ball gag from his pocket. I'd had it in before, and while it had a nasty rubber taste there was something sexy about it, so I didn't resist him putting it in place. Then the ropes on my wrists slowly pulled up, forcing me to stand on tiptoe. They were apparently run through the stage rigging above.
"Angie, today I'm going to teach you to trust people. There are nine boys ready to walk in those doors right there, and they will see you in the position you are in. Many of them are boys you've said no to in the last four years. None of them will hurt you, even if you were bitchy to them."
I reeled, how could he say that? He was right, I had been to several boys, but to just come out and say it in front of James and Vince? And maybe the boys outside even? I almost made the safe sign right then and there, my hands were up above me but they were clearly visible.
"It will be humiliating, but it will be worth it. And you will learn that most boys are not out to hurt you. You might even learn to trust. So, how much do you trust me?" He was looking me right in the eyes, and I was glaring at him so hard if looks could kill, he'd be a smoking pile of ash. I flicked my hand and his eyes lingered on my fingers, but I didn't make the sign. Even when I was pissed off, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt. He nodded, still watching my hand, then walked up to me.
"Here's where your trust is tested," he whispered in my ear, "I swear, no one here will hurt you. You can stop this any moment. It will be intense, but it IS safe. Are you ready?" It took me several long seconds, but I willed myself to nod.
