I've always regarded myself as quite the expert at getting what I want from men. Scratch that, getting men to beg to give me what I want.
Ever since I discovered men's pathetic weakness for beautiful women who seem perpetually in need of something, it's been bye bye boss bitch, hello bitch who's spoiled for choice.
I've conquered men of all sorts -- weak willed/minded men who use money as a shortcut to the perks of actually being a man and getting women to want to be bred by them, the 'romantic' who isn't man enough to cut the bullshit romance and say what he really wants( but hey! I've never been shy about getting a little pampering attention before the otherwise pretty lackluster performance,) the butthurt guy who hates the power women have over him and tries to regain some of this power by perpetually ignoring women and secretly wishes this'll make women want him. Poor soul.
I do feel genuine pity for this dude and sometimes try to be a decent human by lighting up his dark, parched and miserable existence with a warm smile and greeting. That's usually when stalker mode activates.
My favourite toy tho is the dude who thinks he's got women all figured out and thinks he's somehow better than the rest and has so much more to offer, so straightforwardly tells me he wants to fuck(the nerve!) with a shit eating, cocky, know-it-all smirk on his face(is it hot in here.) I'll admit, the last dude tho, puts up the best effort in the sheets of all three.(I never fucked a Mr Butthurt)
Scratch that, this MF works his fucking butt off trying to prove to me that his dick offsets all the attention, presents and romance in the world that he won't be giving me.
But favourite tho he may be, he's still a slave. My slave. At my service. Just in a more get to the point kinda way. And it kinda works for me. Although he tends to get sloppier and cockier with time until I just have to send him off to oblivion.
I've seen them all and so respect non of them because men to me are like dumb playthings that literally offer their best features to you; be it money, charm or dick for nothing! Just like those hopeless restaurants, hotels and casinos who give their very best services and treatments for free to celebs and critics and get shit attitude back and lap it all up. All in hope of a good word about them. Some gain! Needless to say, I was a spoiled diva through and through. Women feared me(poor things) and men hated me(little thin skinned fuckers) which made them want me even more.
I was even beginning to think about bequiting my straight card and fucking with bitches instead because I was damn sure to do a better job giving women what they really wanted than men ever could.
Then came Dallas!
The new neighbor.
He was tall, about 6'3, very athletic, strong looking without being bulky, dark and serious with a gait that seemed both casual and intent, eyes that seemed to be holding in lava while trying to maintain freezing temperature and a swagger that said look at me at the same time that it seemed to say I don't care what you think. Always wore black and spoke to no one.
Boring.
At first sight, he seemed like Mr favourite plaything only it's been a month since he moved in and hasn't even as much as breathed in my direction. Now I'm hard to go unnoticed. For fuck's sake I'm a 5'8 voluptuous ebony Queen of Liberian and Somalian decent with shimmering silky chocolate skin and a firm, big and taut pair of buttocks, thighs and breasts. I play college volleyball 3-4 times a week and squat more than my ass and thighs can thank me for.
I always get a kick from watching guys who didn't give the first fuck about volleyball cheering me. It didn't matter to them if I was just bent over and panting like a sow or just lost a 100-0 to the opposition, nobody had ever quite hit a volleyball like me.
I decided to take upon myself the task of figuring Dallas out and by that, I meant getting him to use a strategy on me before the end of his third month in. Meanwhile, I'll get every Intel available on him before then. So I recruited some of my lapdogs on my apartment block to get to know what the new uppity neighbor was about.
Larry was the first to get any Intel on Dallas. Larry has always been there for me. He's at that point where I believe a man could do anything for a woman. He found out his name and nothing else when he went on charm offensive to his door on a getting-to-know-the-new-neighbor mission. Then came running back to me with acid in his tongue about what a pretentious prick Dallas was for only deigning to give him a curt, dispassionate welcome for his troubles. Needless to say, I was the only one who thought much of Dallas.
I was quite impressed tho that Dallas treated everyone the same. It meant he didn't have a thing against women. He had a thing against the world. I wanted to know more.
Next thing I learned was that this guy worked out twice everyday. Once in the morning and in the evening 6 days a week in some kind of martial arts as was told to me by an overly excited Douglas (another of my fans. He's bi) who worked out in the same gym as him. Doug nearly had a heart attack while describing how hard this guy hit a heavy bag.
Had I just unwittingly set out to tame a wild horse? More and more gym escapades were related to me by Doug until I decided I had to see this man workout myself.
It was a Saturday and I wore a pair of ass hugging, thigh flaunting pair of black boxer briefs, a form fitting red Manchester United jersey wickedly pulled to a knot just above my abdomen. Then I tied a red bandana round my forehead just beneath my crazy big curly dark brown afro that had never seen a razor in all my 24 years of existence. Needless to say, I was beautiful and knew it.
One thing I've learnt is that the solo animal gets the most attention. So I walked in alone. And as usual, whole activities halted, people with eternally varying views on life all united in thought, feelings and intent as they all viewed the same thing in this moment. Guys united in lust, girls, in disgust. But all eyes were on me. All except one...Dallas wasn't here. Then around came Doug grinning ear to ear throwing both his hands out to me in an embrace all sweaty and manly. I returned his enthusiasm.
'Look who's out on the manhunt' he chided.
'Hoping to find someone worthy of that label' I hit back, while giving the place that covert, yet all-seeing scan that only a woman's eyes can achieve.
'Well then, you're in the wrong place. The wildest game always roam free.'
He said as he pulled me toward the rear window of the gym.
Then he pulled the blinders and there he was, out in the 'wild,' lone like a disgruntled wolf who'd grown sick of the pack.
My God was he a sight! I saw him shirtless for the first time and something about the way he seemed so removed from his surroundings made every move he made spellbinding even though he was doing the most uninteresting exercise ever: running.
Now I've watched countless guys workout. But they all seemed so self conscious like they were obsessing about how they came across or were obsessed with seeming not to care how they came across. But with Dallas, it was so pure, carefree, primal unrehearsed, genuine and even somewhat spiritual(I'll be damned if I didn't instantly imagine him fucking me with the same reckless abandon) and yet so intent that even a blind man could see he wasn't doing it for attention. But boy, did he have my undivided attention.
'Do I get a mop?' Doug said snapping me out of my trance.
'Whh..whhaat?' I stammered.
'Bitch you is literally drooling on the entire floor.'
'No. I'm not. It's not my fault though that such creatures are an endangered species.'
'What's it with girls and assholes? Every guy that's met that fucker right there agrees that he's the ass in asshole and yet you girls all but hand him your panties to inspect.' He spat without even once stopping to breath.
'Are there other girls?'
'I should probably tell you no, cos if I say yes, then I'm sure you'll be acting way more thirsty than you already are.'
'Thanks alot.'
'Well, I think I've had enough for today. My entire hammys feel like they're on fire. Are you coming with me?
'I just got here.'
'And you shouldn't have bothered. Girl have you looked in the mirror lately? The things I'll do to see those shorts dow...'
