'Excuse me sir, may I have permission to speak?'
Daddie peered over his newspaper menacingly, cocking one eyebrow then quickly furrowing it. I was washing up whilst he was catching up with what was going on in the world, the growl he elicited indicated that he was somewhat disappointed in my brave act of posing a question. At a snails pace he lowered the paper to the table and said
'What is it boi?'
The even tone of his voice and his piercing glare sent shivers all the way through me; feeling blood well under my face skin; I was embarrassed. Filling my lungs with cold air I was going to ask him my question, I'd been dreaming about this for many nights and thinking on it for even more days. Finally I'd plucked up the courage to ask my one time captor turned master and I could hear the buzz of a flatline fill my head as the anxiety invaded all the crevices of my skull. The question was personal and awkward, usually I would never imagine asking a partner what I was about to ask, however as far as Daddie was concerned breathing felt like I was taking too much. So what I was going to ask of him was big and I needed to summon all my big boy courage and just spit it out.
Seconds passed, dragging through time as I froze. Terrified of moving my lips to make my request. Resolute I shut my eyes tight forcing myself to manipulate my mouth to contrive a sentence. Regret and fear of the consequence already seeping out of my pores in a cold nervous sweat, before I even spoke...