I kept checking her LiveJournal, deep in the grip of my obsession. F5, F5, F5. The light grey text on the black background wasn't changing. I wanted to see an update, and yet I didn't. The paradoxical duality twisted my stomach, buzzed my insides, and sent a pulsing into my cock with every heartbeat.
I struggled to embrace how much it aroused me reading about how much she enjoyed Jason taking her and using her mouth roughly and denying me. The insecurity and jealousy stabbed at me. That I kept coming back to it confused me. As I would touch myself and re-read her journal entry, I would orgasm so hard, followed immediately after by being disgusted with myself.
Then it happened. F5. Instead of instantly showing me the same page, the text disappeared while firefox interpreted the div tags and CSS to render the update. It happened immediately, as the space between the in-breath and the out-breath. That instant felt incredibly long. My heartbeat accelerated in anticipation.
He Texted me
By now, it was hard to read as the text seemed to vibrate with each hammering beat of my heart. I took a deep breath and continued on.
You'll deliver yourself to me at 7pm, wear lacey red panties and a bra. Come prepared with a safeword and any limits you have. You are not to cum or even touch yourself for pleasure until then.
When I read it, I instantly drenched the panties I was wearing and had to desperately fight to keep from touching myself. How will I be able to wait until tomorrow?
That was all there was. I could feel my cock pressing against my jeans. Unlike Laura, I was under no order not to touch, and even if I had been, I wouldn't have been able to resist. I reached under my pants and stroked myself slowly. My precum quickly coated the taught skin of my dick. I didn't want to cum yet though
Refreshing the page once more, I saw an update.
I told Sir about this blog. Oh yes, and he wants me to call him Sir now. He says I've earned my first punishment. I'm wet and craving him. My panties are drenched at the thought of his strong hands gripping my body, delivering my punishment for going to another man to make me cum after he used my mouth and to finally feel him inside me.
He said I am to post here so everyone can read what a naughty slut I am for him. I am not to touch myself or cum without his permission.
I pictured everything she described played out. Her big eyes looking at him filled to overflowing with lust, her alert, busy thoughts evaporated from the heat of her desire and submission. His hands roamed her body, gripping her hair and dragging her around his room.
I exploded into my hand and felt an immediate disappointment in myself. Why couldn't I have held out longer? How was this turning me on so much? Shouldn't I want her more for myself? Knowing he would possess, punish and use her turned me on more? That she craved him like she'd never craved anyone else?
I tried busying myself. That night my sleep was restless with flashes of Laura being spanked, flogged, and fucked.
The next day doing school work, distracting myself with some video games but I couldn't stay still and concentrate. I went to my afternoon Lit class. The professor's lecture and student responses drifted around me as though they were another language. My belief that it would hold my concentration evaporated.
I grabbed dinner with my Aaron in the dining hall. We carried on a conversation, but my participation mainly was unconscious.
"How's it going with Laura?" The air seemed to crackle, my heart slamming inside my chest while time seemed to stop.
My mouth was dry, and I hoped that the heat in my face wasn't on display. All I could do was shrug my shoulders. "We went out a few times, and fucked.. and fooled around a bit more since then...."
"Damn! I'm jealous! You go, man!" His celebratory enthusiasm starkly contrasted my inner insecurities. Just then, a flash of her on her knees sucking on this other guy's cock flashed in my mind.
We went back to the dorms and played Super Smash Bros on my Gamecube. It had gotten late, and I had finally gotten my mind of Laura for a few. I got a text from her.
"Want to hang out?"
"Yes," I replied instantly.
"On my way,"
I told my friends I would hang out with Laura in a bit. Aaron gave me a high five. After the last few rounds, they left.
My head was swirling. Is this like last time? She wants to hang out with me after him? What does that mean?