College Discoveries

I sometimes wonder how I discovered my love for that special intoxicating mix of jealousy and arousal. Then I remember Laura. I met her sophomore year. She was energetic. Her green eyes and big smile always caught my attention. She bonded with the guys in the hall naturally.

That year was an adjustment for me. I had returned sober after an administratively dictated semester off. There was a circle of friends in her hall that I fell in with. We stayed up all hours playing Risk and would only pause at 3 am for runs to the diner.

Soon I was transferred over to their hall in a roommate swap. Sober in a triple with two potheads wasn't ideal. On the other side, my new roommate hadn't loved having to contend with his former roommate and the pills that speckled the floor near his bed.

Hanging out with the guys, Laura would swing into our orbit, sometimes with her bubbly blonde friend Diane. She stood eye to eye with my six feet. Her eyes made it seem like anime was a realistic representation of human facial features.

As a freshman, she'd arrived with a boyfriend, and they carried on long-distance in the typical way. When that faded away and ended, I still didn't think to chase her. Even with my friend Aaron's nudges, I didn't even think of it as a possibility. I was shy, quiet, and the anxiety of regular social interactions made my words catch and stutter. I'd even overheard one of the guys doing an impression. I tried my best to join in with everyone laughing.

Things had changed when summer came. Laura had mentioned she broke up with her boyfriend and started asking me to hang out. First, we went to a movie with a group of friends, then just her and I to a Sublime cover band and the Renaissance fair. I was clueless these were dates.

Laura finally took things into her own hands. She invited me down to go to the Brooklyn Aquarium. We both made the trek down from upstate separately while staying at our respective parent's homes. The aquarium was fun, and we were having a good time.

The lights had gone out as we were leaving, but I thought maybe it was closing time. Then we got to the subway, and it was out too. The energy now was frenetic. The air on the bus was sharp as the chatter of speculation floated and then came crashing in with our greatest fears. Cell phones were out. Most of the landlines people had called from payphones had busy signals.

People had been asking, "Was it another terrorist attack?"

"Was there a threat, and that's why everything was shutting down?"

Once the bus reached the base of the Brooklyn Bridge, the driver announced that it was the end of the route. We'd had to find another way to keep going.

Continuing on foot, the light was faded and the thick August air stuck to our bodies. When we crested the center, the Manhattan skyline lay dark before us, the sun's red bleeding over the edges. Laura pulled me close and kissed me. Awakened, I pulled her back to me and returned the kiss - deep and long.

Eventually, we contacted the outside world, discovered there was no terrorist attack and found her friends to stay with uptown. The city came alive with a widespread party reminiscent of a snow day in High school. Trumpets and other instruments piled into the walk uptown, shouting could be heard from the rooftops where people had gathered drinking. It was a wild sight.

At her friend's apartment, we were led up narrow stairs by candlelight. I remember sleeping snuggled even in the oppressive heat.

It was probably a month later when the Fall Semester had started, that we had sex. We were playing Halo competitively, and she rolled over and pounced me. I was so excited; it had been two years, and the memory is a blur thinking back on it. Our mouths pressed together, kissing deeply, we shed our clothes quickly. I vividly remember licking and kissing her slim body, sucking on her small pert breasts, and then going down on her.

Even then, I'd loved pleasing with my tongue. Laura was only my second. I savored the folds of her lips in my mouth, the taste of her when I penetrated her with my tongue, and welcomed the bliss of bringing her pleasure when I heard her moans as I flicked her sensitive nub. Her moans grew louder as I fingered her, and even now, the sensation of her wetness dripping down my face makes me stir. When her thighs squeezed my head and her back arched, I knew she was coming for me. A wave of satisfaction crashed through me at having pleasured her.

I grabbed a condom, excited to feel the pleasure of sliding inside her. I crawled over her missionary and penetrated her slowly. The sensation was so intense, I tried going slowly and knew it was already no use and sped up quickly, already cumming. The condom looked like the first breath blowing up a balloon.

Once she was out the door, I felt the drop. Her body was not glowing with perspiration from long, vigorous satisfying sex. We kissed and talked a little more, then played another round or two of Halo before she said she'd have to go. The loneliness was compounded by the insecurity of knowing I'd made an abysmal showing. The week went on, and we were in communication over AIM. I was hopeful at a shot at redemption. She wouldn't really confirm anything and said she wanted to go to a party Friday night, but we might be able to hang out Saturday.

Friday night came, and I was antsy, unsettled I tried playing some Xbox, but that only lasted a few minutes, tried reading, and I couldn't make it through a paragraph, watched some porn, but my head kept cycling through the previous weekend with Laura. Had she lost interest because I'd been so quick? Finally fell asleep watching some tv.

My phone rang at 2 am. I was sleepy and confused.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Laura replied

"Everything ok?" I was a bit worried about the unexpected call.

"Yeah, everything is good. But uhm, first I want to tell you something. I kissed someone else tonight.. and well needed to make sure you know we weren't exclusive or anything. Like I'm not ready to jump back into a relationship."

Suddenly I was fully awake. I felt an unfamiliar icy grip around my guy and hear as my pulse jumped from idle to redline.

"Yeah, I mean, we didn't talk about being exclusive, and I understand."

"Oh good, I was worried you'd get jealous. Also, do you think I could come to stay with you tonight? Diane is with Ray, and I def can't drive."

"Yeah, come on over,"

I was excited, hopeful at redemption, and awakened by hearing about her kiss.

When she arrived at my door, her eyes looked slightly glazed, and her hair was tangled and frizzy. I moved in for a kiss. She dodged me.

"I've been drinking some... you shouldn't kiss me."

"It's ok,"

"Are you sure?" There was a note of hesitation in her voice that didn't register with me in the moment.

To answer, I leaned in and kissed her deeply. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer, our tongues dancing in her mouth.

"Margaritas or something? You do taste salty," I said after breaking the kiss.

Her cheeks flushed red.

I pulled her towards the bed and kept kissing her. Easing her on the bed, my weight pressing on her, I could feel my bulge pressing against my shorts. My hands squeezed her clothed breasts, and I kissed her neck.

"I wanted to tell you after last time... you know you're the only guy to make me cum."

"Really?"

"You're really good with your tongue."

"I want to lick you again."

"Yes... I need that... but I don't want to fuck tonight. Is that ok?"

I tried to hold back my disappointment, "Of course. I'm happy I can please you."

We continued kissing, and I stripped off her tank top and black bra. As my mouth traveled further down her body and I looked up at her, I could see the glistening of saliva on her smooth skin. I unbuttoned her jean shorts and discarded them. The scent of her arousal filled my nose, and I could see the dampness in her matching black cotton panties, which I tossed aside quickly.

I eagerly inserted my tongue, licking at her slowly. Her moans encouraged me. I moved further up, finding her sensitive numb between the folds of her lips, and lightly licked.

"Ugh, yesss."

I slid a finger into her and her wetness flooded around my finger. Moving my finger in and out slowly, I could hear her moans and the distinctive sound of her wet folds encouraging me. I went a little deeper with my finger and curled it towards me, feeling the texture of the top of her tunnel. She began arching her back, and I licked faster, finding just the right speed and pressure. She was squirming and gasped for breath.

"Right there.. yesss," she gasped as her hips bucked and legs squeezed my head. I could feel her pussy tightening around my finger.

"Fuck, you are good at that," she said as she desperately sucked air into her lungs. "I'm so tired now. Let's get some sleep."

I gave her a t-shirt and boxers to wear. I spooned her, my hard dick failing to soften even as her breathing lengthened, and I felt her fall asleep in my arms. I acquiesced silently even as my hardon struggled against my boxers. Eventually, I did too.

In the morning, I began making us some coffee from my little electric drip machine, and she asked if she could hop online to check in on AIM and post a quick update on her LiveJournal. Once we'd finished the coffee, she said she needed to get back home. I moved to kiss her, but she said she was hungover and better get back.

When the door to my dorm room clicked shut, I went to my computer, craving release. One of the browser windows was LiveJournal, but it wasn't the LiveJournal she'd told me about. I began reading.

The heading read "I was a naughty girl,"

My heart was pounding, and this icy grip tightened around my stomach. My hand wasn't steady on the mouse, and I could feel the grip getting slick. I continued reading, anticipation drying the saliva from my mouth while I was afraid to see more.

I got to the party and wasn't anticipating hooking up with anyone. I knew Daniel (the music major with the long blonde hair had a crush on me), but I was unsure. Diane was there, and she asked me about last weekend with Sean (you remember good tongue but came really quickly).

I blushed and felt a weird sensation. It was uncomfortable. There were tinges of anger encasing it, but I could tell it was hovering over something else. It was a sense of failure and inferiority. Insecurity floated through my mind. I was reading my private failure expressed to Laura's friend and exposed on the internet.

I had a few Jell-O shots and then some Purchase punch. That's when this new guy showed up. I had never seen him before. He was tall, wearing a faded Iron Maiden t-shirt and ripped jeans. His medium-length black hair had a tendency to fall over his dark eyes, and he kept pulling it back with his hands even though it wasn't long enough to anchor around his ears. When he got there, he had Daniel knock back a few shots of whiskey with him, and I was surprised when he made his way over to Diane and me. There was a fluttering in my stomach.

It wasn't just his appearance. It was the confidence in his movements. He wasn't someone who'd always been a popular kid, but someone who'd embraced being on the outside, someone that attracted attention -- usually the disapproving kind and owned it.

When he reached us, he told Diane that he would take me from her and

knew she wouldn't have trouble occupying herself. He told me he didn't need to know my name. He already saw me, sitting here adrift for a hand to take the tiller. Diane floated away with barely a word, and I was left nearly vibrating with intensity. I felt a tingling sensation, arousal, and excitement in a way that made my brain numb.

As someone with ADHD, my brain is never calm, but the way his voice commanded me. Explaining how he was going to train me, that it would be more than sex and that I would take pleasure from being a good girl for him. He knew I was inexperienced and explained we would go slow as we would both be learning my desire, ecstasy, and limits while I would be learning how to satisfy him.

When he asked if I wanted to proceed, I could only nod my head. He patted my head and ran it through my hair, telling me I was a good girl. At that moment, I felt just how wet the exchange had made me. Then he told me to follow him.

Inside Jason's room of the dorm apartment, he pulled me close, gripped my neck, and kissed me hard. I'd never been kissed that way. With that kiss, I felt hungered for and possessed. When he broke the kiss, he told me to get on my knees.

'I'm going to turn you into a cock worshipping slut for me,' I'd never been spoken to that way before. My face blushed red, flooded with the heat of embarrassment, and yet I knew my panties drenched.

'Look up at me,' he said sternly. I tilted my head reluctantly but compliantly.

He took his semi-rigid cock out of his pants.

'Go on, study it. Tell me how badly you want to please it.'

'I want to please it.'

'You'll address me as Sir,'

'I want to please it, Sir.'

'What do you want to please?'

'I want to please... your.. dick,' I blushed then. I'd never been so direct and crude with a guy before.

'Your so cute when you blush. Go on say cock... No one's made you articulate your hunger for cock before, have they?'

'C-c-cock,' I'd stuttered, forming the unfamiliar word with it there standing tall in front of my face.

'That's a good girl. I think you've earned a reward. Go on and lick the underside.'

I flushed with pleasure at being called a good girl. I'd never imagined being talked to that way would make me so aroused. I could feel my arousal drenching my panties. I don't think I'd ever been so turned on, and he wasn't even touching me. His tall, muscular body towered over me. On my knees, I'd heard his smooth, soft yet commanding tone, and it surprised me so much to find myself following his commands without resistance. My usually noisy mind quieted as I found myself letting go to have me how he desired.

I stretched my tongue out, starting at the base of his thick, long erection -- maybe not porn star size but certainly the biggest I'd see in person. My tongue licked the length, slowly savoring the texture and fleshy firmness.

'No lick around the tip -- but don't take it in your mouth yet.'

I kept on as he commanded.

'Look at me.'

I lifted my eyes, eager to please.

'Now suck me,'

I started taking him into my mouth, focusing on pleasing him.

'What the fuck did I tell you? Keep looking at me slut. I want to see your eager cock-hungry eyes while you please my cock.'

A jolt of strange, intense feelings swirled around me. My skin felt heated, my head spun. I knew it hurt, and yet I could tell I was even more turned on. I looked up eagerly, bobbing my head faster.

'Are you going to make me tell you again?' He pulled it out of my mouth. 'Maybe you're not deserving. Don't you want to be a good girl for me?' He held my chin tilted up, gazing at me intensely as he asked this. I could only swallow and nod.

'Get back to sucking slut.'

I slobbered and slurped him with my wet mouth, making sure to keep eye contact.

'That's a good girl. Are you ready for your reward?'

I moaned affirmatively, with his dick filling my mouth. He gripped my hair and pushed deep, holding it there with his head lodged in my throat. I felt my body try to gag. Tears started leaking from my eyes before he pulled back and repeated. He went slow at first, then finally was fully fucking my face.

'That's a good slut. You're taking my cock much better than I expected.'

I could feel the heat in my cheeks again, so happy to receive his praise. I was trying my best. I'd never been face fucked before, and he was enormous. I knew I still wasn't taking his entire length. The taste of his cock changed. The tip was saltier, his precum abundantly filling my mouth, and I knew he was close.

'Please, sir, give me your cum,' I begged, but I could only hear mumbles with my mouth still full. I could see in his eyes he knew what I was saying.

'That's right, such a good girl. So eager. Already farther along than I expected. You've earned this...' He grunted, and I felt his dick spasm and thick cum shot into my mouth while he kept pumping. When he was finally done, he pulled out and pushed my head to his lap.

'That's a good girl. Lay there like that for a while. I want to make sure you're ok before I send you back to your friend.' His hand brushed through my hair.

I suddenly came to feeling a mess in my hand. I'd just cum to reading Laura's account of another guy using her face shortly before she came over to see me.

'Are you ok now? Sometimes there is an emotional drop after the intensity.' I felt a little disoriented but was coming to. I couldn't believe how easily I'd succumbed to him but knew I was his whenever he wanted.

I nodded to him.

'Good, go find your friend, and I will be calling on you soon. This was only a small taste.'

My body shivered with anticipation.

I texted Diane, but there was no answer, and I knew what she was up to. I called Sean, knowing he was hoping to see me again anyway.

When I got there, I tried to put him off from kissing me, knowing I must still taste like Jason's cum, but I'll admit when he did kiss me deeply, I liked knowing he was tasting what a good girl I'd been for Jason. I still hadn't any release, and his tongue is so good.

Fuck. I tasted another guy's cum? I blushed but felt my cock harden again.