Over the course of the weeks, Barra became accustomed to offering his gift to the Goddess when he felt desire begin to run through him. Sometimes he would be alone in the woods, part of a private ritual between him and the earth, but other occasions would be under Niamh's supervision during some quiet time they shared together.
He noticed Niamh always cast a circle and set wards when they were to do this and he found himself mirroring her movements and words when he was by himself. He wasn't always sure if he achieved the same level of security as when Niamh did it, but either way, it made him feel safe within the sacred space.
Niamh watched his progress with satisfaction. She noticed how much calmer he was becoming as his body and mind became more aware of each other. She knew he watched her when she drew her powers around her and noted his growing confidence in trying things out for himself. She did not need to watch his circle casting, for she felt the corresponding shift in the aether when they were put into place. She also noted the subtlety of his actions, only using as much energy as was needful and never attempting to use too much when a little sufficed.
One evening in late spring, when the last meal of the day was over, they sat for some time, sipping their tea and talking, almost as if each were trying to delay what must inevitably occur. Barra sensed Niamh was uneasy about something, but could not put his finger on what exactly it was. At first, he was embarrassed to offer his gift to the Goddess in Niamh's presence, but as he grew more used to it, he almost managed to achieve a sense of detachment between his mind and body. Niamh rarely spoke to him, except to check on his level of comfort and health, or maybe to suggest another technique, but she never became involved with his actions, her face remaining impassive throughout.
He could not believe her when she told him she had no desire of her own. He had known enough women to notice the difference between their lack of interest and when desire ran strong within them. It could not always have been so with her. There must have been a time when she loved for love's sake alone and not at the will of the Lord and Lady. One day he would ask her, but not now. Some nights he tried deliberately to entice her, to goad her into a physical response to his actions, but although her eyes might flicker, her body remained hidden underneath her clothes and she did not stir from her stool until she came to wash him and plant a single kiss on his cheek or forehead.
When everything was ready, Barra settled himself on the thick furs by the fire and waited for Niamh to cast their circle and set the wards. Sometimes he followed her line of blue light with a golden one of his own. She did not reprimand him or object to what he did, so tonight he stood up and drew the double circle with her, watching how the lights hung together in the air like a million tiny stars. When she invoked the Guardians of the four quarters, he answered her and it seemed to him their circle was the stronger for his contribution. He did not know why, but he felt they would need that extra protection.
Niamh was wearing a different robe tonight, woven in softest wool and held up by a single drawstring around her neck. She wore her usual belt, but there was no sign of the beige linen shift she wore underneath. Barra fantasised what would happen if the drawstring was loosed and the material fell to hang around her waist, but he knew it would not happen and he should concentrate on other things.
Niamh handed him the jar of salve and he wasted no time making himself comfortable and working on his own arousal. This was never difficult. All he had to do was remember the pattern of the Everlasting Tree and paint it on Niamh's body in his mind. His body did the rest. Once he reached the root of the tree and her Gateway, that was always the point of no return. He was almost there when Niamh suddenly reached out and held the tip of his manhood firmly with two fingers.
"Wait!"
Barra was surprised, not shocked, but obviously interrupted from the final outcome. "What is it - what do you mean?" he asked.
"You need to learn control and more obedience," was all she would say. "It is not all about pleasure."
Barra's confusion was evident. What did she mean? Why did she touch him? What was he supposed to do? Had he offended her in some way? Did she know the image he used within his mind?
"Take your hands away."
Barra dropped his hands uncertainly to his side, leaving his member erect and quivering.
"Now tell me what you feel."
Barra stuggled for a moment to find the words to convey the strange sensation she had caused in him. "I feel..... the moment of .. the giving .. is passed, but I feel pleasure still..." Naimh's hand stroked him lazily for a few strokes. He savoured her touch on him, the pulses of sensation subtle and familiar but not overwhelming.
"If the point is not pleasure, then what is the point - apart from the giving - the offering?"
"More learning, more awareness."
"What must I learn now?"
"Control and obedience. Touch your sack." Barra reached down to cup his scrotum in his palm. "How long before it will discharge?"
"It depends on .. how I - or you - " he looked at her," - how fast or .. it depends upon how I am touched."
"And if I do not give permission?"
"If you do not give .. permission?" Barra felt his wits leave him. What was she talking about?
"If I do not give permission for your gift to be offered at the point of offering?"
Barra shook his head in bewilderment, "I do not know ... how could I stop myself from .. spilling my seed. What happens, is ... a thing of the body."
"We shall see." Niamh released him and leant back on her stool. She took a sip of cooled tea as if her throat were dry. She offered him the dish, but he declined. "You may continue."
Barra looked vaguely worried and thoughtful, but he resumed,. placing his hand back at the root of his shaft, bringing both hands to the swollen head, smoothing back the foreskin as the stroke made its descent to the base, one hand following the other in slow sure movements
