==== Wednesday ====
"shit ..." Claire mumbled, tuning out Dr. Robbins and rubbing her temples and willing her head to stop spinning. Though she'd deny it to her last she knew she was a mess, and not the good kind. At twenty-six she'd managed to beat a hundred other applicants and was admitted to medical school. Three years later the giddiness of the first day felt like it was a lifetime ago; now she was desperately trying to keep her head above water, and for the first time in her life dangerously close to failing.
"Claire, are you OK?"
Ava's question yanked Claire back into the classroom, with the cruel realization she'd just missed 5 minutes of lecture in the class she needed the most help in. "I'm fantastic, can't you tell?" Part of her felt bad for snapping at Ava, but it bothered her more than she liked that no matter how stressful school was, no matter how little sleep they got, nothing seemed to get under her friend's skin.
Claire considered the rest of class a huge success; she hadn't clawed Ava's eyes out, and for the most part managed to keep fantasies of glorious self-destruction at bay and on days like this that was a bigger accomplishment than it should be.
"Seriously, what's up with you?" Ava asked at lunch, between bites of what passed for "fresh salad" in their cafeteria. "It's not like you to tune out lecture."
Anger flooded Claire's veins, she wanted to hit her, to yell for Ava to mind her own fucking business, that she was fine and to quit "worrying" about her. Yes, that's what she meant to say but when she opened her mouth all that came out were sobs and the last six months of frustration all spilled out, in the middle of the cafeteria.
"I'm going to fail"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I'm not good enough, not smart enough. It doesn't matter how much I study; how much I give up for this fucking place." A voice in her head screamed for her to shut up, but she'd started so she might as well finish. "I've NEVER failed, but I'm going to so why does it matter if I pay attention to the stupid lecture?"
Ava almost told her friend telling her friend to knock it off, she was being ridiculous, dramatic, that of course she would pass. But something stopped her, she'd known Claire since the first day. Back then she'd annoyed everyone, hung on every word the professors spoke, recorded every lecture, and burned through notebooks. She hadn't merely attended med school, she attacked it like it was a thing to be conquered. Claire had won for two years, but it was clear school was dangerously close to scoring a knockout.
"Claire ..." She started, taking her hand and searching for words that could help without getting herself punched in the process. "Look at me."
Claire didn't want to, she wanted to be done with this place and everyone at it. She wanted to run away, to pretend the past few years hadn't happened ...
When Claire finally looked up Ava saw the excitement, determination and sheer will power she had come to admire in her friend had been replaced with shame, disappointment and exhaustion, in that moment her heart broke. "When was the last time you had fun?"
"What?" Claire had expected to be lectured to, told she had started so she had to finish, asked what she would do with 200 grand in student loans if she quit now. When the last time she had fun was the last thing on her mind.
"Fun, you know smiling, laughing, a good time not worrying about school ... you know fun?"
Claire struggled to recall, but all she could think of was rushing to class, countless nights of staying up studying, weekends filled with study groups and even listening to recorded lectures while driving to school. "I don't remember."
"Claire ..." Ava whispered. "You can't let this be your life, you have to have fun."
"I don't have enough time to study, I'm surprised I haven't been fired, I didn't have time for Mark, how am I supposed to have fun?" Claire cried. "Tell me!"
"Enough of the pity party, life's hard I get it." Ava had had enough, after all Claire wasn't the only one stressed to the breaking point. "But I'm not going to let you destroy yourself. You're spending the weekend off campus with me, and you are going to have fun, understood?"
The next two days seemed to take forever. Claire had tried to get out of spending the weekend with Ava, claiming she had to study. But Ava had pointed out that if she was going to fail anyway then she had no reason not to spend the weekend with her. Claire couldn't find fault with her logic and to be honest it wasn't spending time with Ava that was bothering her, she did need a break and not knowing the last time you laughed wasn't health.
No, what was bothering her was Ava wouldn't tell her the plan. Her entire adult life Claire had not only known what the plan was, she was in control of it and she didn't like not knowing one bit. By the time Friday came she was as relieved about finally getting to know the plan as she was happy about getting away from school.
==== Saturday Morning ====
"This was a good plan Ava" Claire mumbled as the masseur she forgot to get the name of hands' danced over skin, finding a seemingly endless number of knots in her back. "It has been forever since I've had a massage."
"I can tell" he replied. "You're carrying the most tension I've felt in a long time."
"School is ..."
"No talking about school" Ava interrupted, sternly reminding her from the next table over. "Those are the rules!"
"Fine then, LIFE has been very busy and stress ..." Claire trailed off, it had either been longer than she remembered or this masseur was very good. It was as though tension lept from her body each time he touched her. Of course it didn't hurt that he wasn't bad looking either, what woman wouldn't want his hands on her. She decided to have some toy with him a bit, after all Ava had demanded she have fun, she didn't get to decide what kind.
"You give such an amazing massage" she baited. "Have any women thrown themselves at you?"
"Claire!" Ava gasped. "Sorry Alex, she's not got out much."
"What? I want to know!" Claire was enjoying this, let Ava be embarrassed, she had gone two whole days not knowing what the plans for the weekend were. "His touch is Heaven and he spends the day rubbing nearly naked women, I'm sure a few have wanted more, right Alex?"
To his credit Alex didn't miss a beat, finishing a long stroke down Claire's back before replying. "More in a massage wouldn't be ethical or legal and I would lose my license."
"Oh come on" Claire teased, lifting her ass a little at the end of his next stroke so it ground against the palm of his hand. "You're seriously want me to believe if this were a solo massage and I begged you, you wouldn't fuck me right here on this table?"
Claire had never been one to flaunt beauty but deep down she knew she was a lot prettier than most girls. She had never had a shortage of guys and even occasionally girls trying to make their way into her bed, and when it had been her idea no one had ever turned her down for sex.
Alex's hand rested just a bit too long on her ass before moving to her thigh. "I'd be flattered but no, I wouldn't." As his stroke neared her upper thigh she opened her legs just enough for him to notice.
"So what you're saying is I'm not pretty enough?" Claire teased, thoroughly enjoying herself.
"You're not being fair Claire" Ava said. "If he says yes, he hurts your feelings and doesn't get a tip, if he says no you've put him in a spot."
"I'm just having fun Ava, you're the one that told me to do that so relax." Claire wouldn't fuck the masseur anyway, but she enjoyed wondering if she could get him to want her.
"This is how I pay my bills so I can't and haven't ever jeopardized that." Alex replied, carefully considering what to say next. "You are a beautiful woman, if I met you nonprofessionally and the offer were made it'd be stupid to pass."
"There are you happy?" Ava asked.
"Yes actually I am" Claire immensely enjoyed the next thirty minutes of her massage, his hands were like magic but what made her smile was knowing Alex had to be fantasizing about fucking her each time he touched her skin. And for the massage but more so for his frustration she tipped him, very well.
"You are so mean!" Ava exclaimed as they passed through the doors. "Getting poor Alex worked up like that."
