When Christa opened the door, I immediately knew there was something wrong. Her lips smiled but her eyes didn't. I missed the warmth I had felt yesterday.
She took my flowers, brought them to the kitchen and returned with coffee. She didn't bring the flowers back. She said, "Thank you for coming, but please let's forget what happened yesterday. Let's just remain friends."
I was surprised. "Why?" I asked.
"Let's not waste our beautiful friendship for a fling."
I chose my words carefully. "It would not be a fling. And you know that. I've longed for this for a long time. I have the feeling you want this too. You are very special to me. There is no other woman I would give myself to that way, so submissively, so unconditionally."
She watched my face. I could feel she thought I was just flattering. "How about Linda?" she asked, a bit aggressively.
"I might have given it to her, a few years ago if she had been interested. Now I am glad she wasn't. It's just not the kind of relationship we have." Thoughtfully I added, "She is my wife and I do love her. But that doesn't mean that my feelings for you are not sincere."
Christa looked at me somberly. "You don't understand. It would destroy our friendship completely. And after two of three times you would get bored and we would never see each other ever again."
I wondered what she feared most, our friendship being destroyed or our new relationship appearing just a fling, a whim. I guessed the latter.
I decided to be completely open and honest with her. "I have suppressed my feelings almost my entire life. I can't do that any longer. I have known you for seven years now. I remember seeing you for the first time talking to your colleagues about your visions. I remember thinking you were cut out for being a Mistress.
"That day, I didn't dare dreaming of being your toy or being capable of meeting your standards. There was no doubt in my mind, however, that you would be a tremendous Mistress for the right slave.
"Since that day, I have learned knowing you as a very nice, kind and warm person and a trustworthy and loyal friend. I also believe you still have that other quality I saw that first day, seven years ago."
Christa was silent. She seemed somber, and sad; she even seemed angry. After a while she said, "You still don't understand. You don't know what real submission is. You don't know the meaning of really having to suffer."
Again I chose to be completely honest. "It is true I am inexperienced. It is also true you could destroy me in less than an hour. However, if you could work up the patience to teach me, I would become the ultimate toy or slave you have always dreamed of."
"You are stubborn, and arrogant, and stupid," she said. I also saw a glimpse of a smile for the first time today."
She said, "Please forget all of this. Don't visit me next week. See me in, let's say, a month, just to have coffee and be the friends we have always been. Please don't visit me next week."
I didn't respond. I just didn't know what to say.
She added, "If you do come here next week, you won't find your friend. You'll find a sadistic and cruel woman. You'll find a very demanding woman who won't let you escape in any respect. I will tear you apart bit by bit."
I relaxed. "Thank you!" I said from the bottom of my heart.
"You stupid fool," she said.
She stood up saying, "Come, I'll show you the door." At the door she gave me three kisses as usual. "Don't come here next week," she said.