My wife, Diane, and I met our darker selves one evening, after she cheated at cards. A game of Bridge, of all things, nearly tore us apart.
We were guests of Cyril and Coral, a couple we had only recently met, initially through Diane's legal work. The following evening we coincidentally met them again at a London club. Over drinks they extended an invitation to join them at their weekend place near Kent, and Diane jumped to accept. I had my reservations.
We drove, and met them there in time for lunch, and throughout the rest of the day they were perfect hosts, although for my temperament they remained somewhat formal, a tad stiff. That night we sat down to Bridge and cocktails.
I know nothing about Bridge (its jargon trumps me, ha ha), whereas Diane is quick to declare her skill. After a few demonstration rounds I began to catch on to the basic principles, we partnered as couples, and I played competently enough that Diane began to allow her competitiveness to show. As the game progressed, she played beyond my ability to keep up, and, still winning, proposed a wager. Before I could take the idea seriously, she was negotiating bonus points and margins. At the close, Cyril suggested that the total loss to either team be capped at 300 euros.
"Let's make it 30," I said. "300 is steep, and I'm just a beginner."
A pause followed, as if the suggestion showed a lack of backbone or class, and Diane chimed in with, "300, it is. The losing team pays up promptly, and the game ends."
Not wanting to sound uncouth for the second time, I leaned to Diane's ear and discretely said, "Will they accept plastic?"
She ignored me. I deferred. We lost round after round to the sum of E 260.
"In for a penny . . ." Diane said.
The deal fell to Diane. At the end of play it seemed we had reduced our loss by roughly 90 euros, but there was now a silence from Coral and Cyril that was positively icy.
"What's the matter?" I said.
Coral addressed Diane. "How did you expect to get away with such a trick, so clumsily done?"
"The proposal to wager money first came from you, Diane," Cyril said, "not from us."
"And you overrode your husband's request for a lesser wager."
"And, in acting as you do, you betray our hospitality."
Diane looked uncomfortable, as though far too close to a fire.
"What are you talking about?" I said."Is this something that we should discuss privately?" Cyril asked her, ignoring me.
"What could she possibly have to say for herself?" Coral said.
"Tell me, please," I said, "what is going on?"
"Your wife, your barrister wife, has tried to cheat us," Coral said.
"Cheat you? How? You're killing us."
"Twice this past hand she dealt herself from the bottom of the deck."
"That's ridiculous," I said, "Diane wouldn't cheat. She doesn't do tricks."
"Jack, I have to speak to them alone, all right?"
"Speak about what?"
The three of them stood up.
"Please excuse us," Cyril said, and then he and Coral led my wife into an adjoining study, where they could negotiate behind a closed door.
I paced the room, growing angry and impatient. I looked for something to distract me, to keep me from barging into the study and ending the evening with our return to London.
On a low table by a sofa lay several art books, most of them new. The one on top had a vintage cover. In pen and ink it showed a gamine gagged and trussed to a pole.
Gwendolyn
. I opened and perused kitschy imagery of rope bondage with a post-Edwardian bent. Vilanova women in riding boots and jodhpurs, bearing whips. Kitschy, but well drawn. One could observe the artist's growing skill over time. Elegant bondage: minimal binds, minimal ties. Simple, neat and tight. Poor Gwendolyn was newly bound on every page.
Toward the back of the book the drawings become elevated in style and transcended kitsch. A watercolor of a fair-skinned brunette jumped off the page. She was tightly bound to a slender upright by her wrists, waist, and ankles, and was gagged by a length of cloth. Her white blouse had been pulled off of her shoulders and down to her elbows, leaving her stripped from the waist up. Behind her stood a flapper with tight red curls, leering and brandishing a carriage whip. The real genius of the drawing was in the eyes of the brunette. This wasn't a wink and a nod, this was a whipping.
It was a first edition copy, signed by the artist.
From within the study, Diane's voice rose and fell several times. That was all I heard. A period of silence followed, then the door opened and Diane came out after the others. She looked ghostly pale.
I put the book aside and stood up. Coral spoke.
"Mr. Tabor," she said, "we have reached a settlement." Before I could feel relief she added, "Your wife has taken responsibility for her attempt to cheat us, and has agreed to accept corporal punishment immediately."
"Corporal what?" I said.
"I know that you heard me clearly."
"No, no," I said. "This has gotten way out of hand."
"It is in writing."
"Like, what, she's agreed to let you spank her?"
"Spanking would be only a warm up. She has signed a statement, admitting her guilt and requesting that we corporally punish her ourselves, in order to spare her legal and professional humiliation."
"Spare both of you the complications, we might add," Cyril said.
"Her signature places the entire procedure in our hands."
I looked at my wife. "Did you do that, Diane?"
She nodded without looking up.
"Her punishment will take place in an office we keep in the stable. You may accompany us -"
"No! No, he can't!"
It was Diane, horrified.
Coral turned to her coldly. "Do not interrupt me."
"I signed to a private settlement."
"You wrote no clause to exclude him. How could you, an attorney of all things, forget such a clause? And who could be more privy to your just desserts than your husband?"
Cyril rocked on his heels and said, "Have you considered that your behavior continues to weigh on the degree of punishment we mete to you, Diane?"
"Please," she said. "Be fair."
"Ho, be fair. From a cheat."
Coral turned to me, and said, "Mr. Tabor, Cyril and I have agreed that you may accompany us, but only under the condition that you do not attempt to interfere in any way."
Diane covered her face, pleading as if in prayer. "Jack," she said, "please, please don't watch me have to do this."
"When is this supposed to happen?" I said.
"Presently," Coral said.
Cyril said with a wave of his hand, "Shall we?"
The path from the manor to the stables took us through a formal garden, under a moonless sky and a spray of cold stars. The brick path undulated, worn with age. There were topiary, balls and cones on column-shaped hedges, silhouetted in the half dark. The four of us walked in single file, without talking, Cyril in the lead, Diane next, then Coral to sandwich Diane between them. Diane was shivering and rubbing her bare arms for warmth. She had asked to use the lavatory just after we stepped out of the house, but her request had been denied.