I was going to write about something that happened not long ago, but then I got to thinking that it might not even seem possible if you didn't know the context of how I got to the place where I would do something that decadent, so I decided to sort of start at the beginning and if you few who read this like the beginning, maybe I could write some more and eventually get caught up to now.
I've done my best to get Paul to write this, he's a very good writer and I am not sure I am. But he says that it would be better if I did it. So here goes.
First though, some truth so you don't get all bent out of shape. I put in a fair amount of dialog and it's been a while, so it might not be verbatim. But it's how I remember it so it will have to do as being as close to truth as I can get. Women reading this will probably get it better than the men, since conversation is part of what gets us going. But for you guys, it may be too much talk and thought, and not enough hard core sex. I apologize ahead of time.
So I guess it goes back to when I met Paul. That was nearly two years ago. He was a consultant brought in to review my department and give us an idea of what we could do better. I felt a little threatened, because I found out that he had run my department ten years ago and by every one's description, he had done an amazing job.
I had just been there a year or so, and I was not feeling comfortable with it. This insecure feeling was made worse by the fact that several people in my department had worked for him back then, and they were clearly glad to see him. It was like old home week, except I felt a little left out. But he was a good listener. Not hugely handsome and a good ten years or so older than me, but he was such a good listener that even I began to really like him the couple of weeks he hung around the offices.
When it was done, he came into my office and gave me an overview. Mostly, he was very, very complimentary and I felt a lot better. He gave me some suggestions on how to get past a couple of issues with a couple of problem employees that had worked for him in the past, and a couple of hints of how to deal more effectively with the Vice President just above me.
"You have a slightly submissive streak and you want to please, maybe a little too much." he said. "That can work in the right relationship, but with your Vice President, you need to be a little more assertive."
It was good advice, but that comment just sort of stayed in my mind. That he had seen that about me, that I was too eager to please, bothered me. That had caused me problems in my marriage, and had caused me problems in the two relationships I had had since my divorce.
I had always thought that if I had the right man in my life, my submissiveness would be a good thing, that a man would treasure it and use it in good ways for both of us. I wasn't sure how exactly, it was just a notion I had come to somehow.
That thought didn't get any fainter as I learned more about Paul from others in my department who had known him from before. His was really kind of a sad story. Evidently he had been married to a woman who he was crazy about. "They were in crazy love." one woman told me, who knew them well back then. "She dressed sexy, like all the time, but you could tell she was not advertising, It was all for him. You could just see it in her eyes and her body language. She'd do anything for him. It got us all bothered thinking of what THEIR love life must be like, because you could just tell it was something extraordinary. Frankly, " and my friend's voice dropped real low here, "I always thought she was almost like his own personal love slave. I can't say why. I just thought it was THAT kind of relationship.
We'd all do anything he asked at work. He just has that kind of confidence. But you felt like she'd do anything, and I mean anything for him."
But she had died in a freak accident, and Paul resigned soon after that. They hadn't see him since then. But everyone agreed, he had his confidence back.,
