Chapter 3 Pushing My Limits

Being the introvert that i am, i've never been one to give a damn about Halloween, let alone attend events, or even dress up.

Yet there i was, at RTT Studio, wearing a maroon wool one-piece and fishnet stockings, my tiny bulge awkwardly showing through the dress (to my embarrassment), my hair bunched up with a bow hair tie, and my choker revealing my name to everyone in attendance.

And then the room started to quiet down as the first performance started, when a couple from Singapore (let's call them P&R) walked to the stage, with P carrying a long stick.

I never knew shibari/kinbaku performances were a thing, but boy was i glad to have witnessed two tonight!

The speed and precision of P's ties, how seamlessly they transition from one position to the next, it was mind blowing to watch.

R looked so graceful in P's hands, and when things got airborne, i kept on gasping every few mins as R went from horizontal, slowly to vertical head up, and then finally upside down!

If you've read my writings so far, you'll know that i have no trouble describing things, but this one.. words can't quite put it, to be honest.

If i were to simplify P&R's performance, i'd say it was.. intense, and almost.. primal yet graceful.

And SPICYYYYYY!

The next performance was no slouch either, with the next couple, Y&J taking things more.. technical?

There wasn't much of speed in Y's ties, time and care was taken, each step deliberate, seamless transitions as well, yet both Y&J looked so graceful and intimate.

And yes, things went airborne too, with the angle manipulations, and there were times that i was dumbfounded as to how things happened.. it was like both P&R and Y&J easily managed to defy the laws of physics and the riggers easily made their partners.. float!

As for Y&J's performance, i felt it to be technical and abstract, yet deeply intimate.

With the amazing performances completed to a thunderous applause, everyone took a few minutes to catch their breaths when the host announced the costume pageant.

As you've read by now, i'm like "hell naw i'm too shy for this", and didn't go up!

The ones that did though, had some amazing outfits on display!

One that caught my eye was the "cyber rope bunny", i thought she was pretty cute, and had flawless skin and impeccable makeup.

Not long after, everyone took to the floor, some stayed in their costumes, and some changed to rope-comfortable wear, and i changed into my sports bra and shorts but left my choker on.

There were so many on the floor tying; it honestly was a beautiful sight to see!

i was absorbing everything in, until a friend i had made the day before (let's call her MW) had asked if i wanted to be tied.

i said yes without hesitation, and we picked out a somewhat clear spot amidst the sea of people tying, and set out with our own tie.

MW told me she wanted to experiment on a choker tie, and i happily agreed.

We sat facing each other, MW had her legs crossed, i had mine outstretched to her sides (since i can't hold a sitting cross for long).

It felt quite poetic, that my first arm tie was a TK (arms back), second one a Tengu (arms to sides), and for this third arm tie, it's tied in front of my chest!

Halfway through the tie MW also asked if i'm down to try some impact play, to which i nodded, not entirely sure of what to expect.

Meanwhile, a participant (let's call him K) sat down beside us and asked to observe.

The tie now nearing completion, i felt it has a good aesthetic to it.

my forearms were loosely joined to the front, and then bound in place to my body, while my fingers were spread to the sides, creating a valley in my palms where my chin sits.

MW was quite adept with the rope, as i felt the tightness of her tie, and i was close to entering subspace when she began on my left thigh..

thwack.. thwack.. THWACK. THWACK!

Using her right arm, MW smacked my left thigh with increasing intensity, around 6-8 times.

By the time the first round completed, i was already in subspace, gently moaning to each strike at first.

And then again.. just below my left shoulder, 6-8 times.

my moans and grunts got a little bit louder this time, and MW checked in to see if everything's okay.

i softly nodded.

And then MW went to my left knee, and gripped it with her thumb and forefinger, but she gripped at the right nerve to stimulate pain.

NNGGH as i winced, but the pain still bearable.

Two more times of that nerve pinch and i was deep in her chest half moaning and groaning, about to cry "Yellow", but thankfully, MW noticed it first and stopped.

She paused the session for a bit, hugged me, and whispered "good girl, you're doing great", which gave me the strength to carry on.

"Thank you MW", i whispered as i got up from her chest, and she asked if i'd like to continue, to which i said yes.

Same areas again, this time, the intensity a little higher. When MW was done with my left thigh, i was so deep in subspace, i was just moaning and moaning, and when MW got to the area below my left shoulder again, i swore her arms were extending fully at the last few strikes and i was prooobably close to whimpering.. i dunno.

And then came that nerve pinch again, and MW always found it on the first try; it was crazy!

And of course, the intensity increased!

At the end of it, i found my head buried again in MW's chest, on the verge of tears, and MW whispered "good girl, you did so well!" and just continued our embrace for a bit, before i lifted my head and MW too noticed i was about to cry, and she finally loosened my ropes.

Along the way, MW asked K to cuddle with me, which he agreed to, and i thought was so sweet of both of them for giving me double the aftercare, and when the last rope came apart, both MW and K leaned in to cuddle, and after that MW asked K to bring Shorky over, and he resumed the task of aftercare.

Sessions of any kind always get my ADHD mind and body exhausted, so i just laid down and slowly recuperated.

The shibari couple from the end of Chapter 1 gestured me over to check if everything was okay.. apparently our session was pretty loud it attracted quite the attention (and that made me hella shy haha!)

i took my time to rest, recover and mingle around, and tried (in vain) to wait for someone to ask if i want to be tied, but i then learnt the hard way that most (if not all) tops expect the bottom to approach them.

And that's totally fair!

They're the one who'll be using their own resources and energy to tie you, so the least you could do as a bunny is to be brave and approach!

And as the event was slowly beginning to wind down, and after some encouragement from a friend, i approached a shibari artist which i've been fangirling ever since i noticed he was present at the event.. he's based in Bangkok, and for the sake of this journal, we'll refer to him as MS.

MS was talking to another person, and i waited patiently for a chance to approach.

In my state of nervousness, i managed to fumble it and made MS think i was talking to the other person!

It worked out in my favor as the ensuing laughter from all sides calmed me down a little to properly approach MS, and let me tell you, this man is gentle, both in speech and demeanor, but i'm yet to find out the kind of person MS is, ropes in hand.

As expected from a person of MS' caliber, he sat me down and we talked a little about myself and my experience in ropes.

MS gave me a choice to either go full suspension or just partial, to which i immediately said partial.

i know, all this while i've wanted to be fully suspended in the air and what not, right?

But i feel that the most important lesson of my journey, is to savor things little by little.

There's really no one to impress, and it's not a race, so having the restraint to experience things in a slow and gradual pace is probably one of the best disciplines a budding rope bunny can have.

MS nodded at my choice, and he began preparing his ropes for the tie.

MS positioned me under the suspension bamboo, and checked out my flexibility by placing my arms behind my back (to which i assumed was for a TK), and finally settled on a comfortable position that wouldn't strain me.

And MS started off tying, and immediately i felt the ropes start to wrap around me.

But MS' ties are different.

Each wrap is carefully and neatly placed on me, the tie neither too tight, nor too loose.

Just nice!

And that made me feel good, that i'm gradually starting to slip into subspace.

My eyes start to open only halfway, and i'm just moaning softly at the friction and tightness from MS' tie.

Little did i know that he was observing my every move!

MS checked on me once in a while to see if i'm okay, to which i weakly nodded yes, and MS also kept checking his TK to ensure it was fit for suspension.

When it was all good to go, i start hearing ropes slap the hollow bamboo above me; in my head i was like "oh god it's actually happening!".

And just moments after, it did. MS just said "okay" and he hoisted me up, and i felt the strain on my TK.

But it wasn't painful at all; it was stretching me gently and it felt otherworldly!

And MS was kind enough to hoist me to the point where my heels were still comfortably touching the ground, as opposed to a tip-toey kinda thing.

MS came round to the front and checked in with me to see if i'm okay, and i just blissfully nodded.

MS then went off to grab another length of rope, and started a single column tie on my right thigh.

Taking care to spread the rope evenly, i watched as the remaining rope flew to the top of the bamboo, and with some minor adjustments later, my right thigh is hoisted to a 90° position beside me!

The newbie -- me, had absentmindedly forgot that i could adjust my only leg in contact with the ground, and was struggling a bit, when MS noticed and told me to reposition my footing.

And oooh boy it didn't take long to feel the weight of my hoisted leg start to sink into the ropes, and the ropes in turn slowly digging into them.. giving it an almost burning sensation.. (i don't know what this is called in shibari, and i'm hoping my ardent readers could provide some input in the comments)

MS, with a slightly curious look on his face, asked "are you okay?" I told MS about the burning sensation, and he asked me if it was bearable, to which i said yes!

And with a look of relief on his face, MS continued with the next part of the tie!

MS tied another single column just above my right ankle, and while that was happening, K passed by with a look of "holy shit" on his face, and told me "you look beautiful".

i meekly thanked K but my heart was pounding at being called beautiful while deep in a half-suspension.. it's one of those feelings that make me yearn for more and more ties!

my attention now snapping back to the tie, MS wasn't happy with the first column tie and redid it, and finally hoisted the rest of my leg up for a few moments, before checking in on me again, to my subspaced face (that was a mouthful), and it didn't take a while before MS started undoing the ropes.

Brought my right leg down, gently let down from my TK suspension, and started to pull the ropes apart.

And i was gently moaning at that action, as i always do (i fucking love that friction).

Remember i told you earlier that MS is always observing me?

He picked up on my rope friction moans, and just slowed down the entire process (i kid you not), just to accommodate this!

And MS is just sensually putting his arms and hands in ways that allow the rope to rub more areas of my bare skin; by now i pretty much fell victim to his charms and care, and oh god i was enjoying every bit of it, moaning softly at every inch of rope MS is rubbing on my skin, and it even came to a part where MS sensually and lightly choked my neck with the rope, twice, from each side(!!), eliciting a slightly louder moan from me..

i swear, the untying process felt like it took an hour longer than the entire session earlier.

It was so steamy and time felt like it stood still, and then suddenly there was no more rope left on my body.

HNNNGGGGGG OH GODDDDD i WANTED MORE!

i stood there in a daze, when MS said "finished", but i collected myself a little and said thank you, but just immediately plopped down onto the floor where i was just tied, letting all the strength and everything come back to me.

i realized one thing after it all.. since i left my phone in the bag by the door (the maroon one-piece had no pockets), i didn't snap pics of any of my ties today!!

Omggg what a wasteee!

It's alright, i thought.. these sessions today will forever be etched in my mind for surpassing 3 limits:

1. Going out of my comfort zone to attend, and to dress up at a Halloween event

2. Finding out that my pain tolerance is higher than i thought, and that impact play ain't too bad

3. The christening of my first half-suspension tie, and furthermore in the hands of the right person to do it; MS 🩷

This day i'll cherish for a long time to come, and it's definitely left an indelible mark on my rope bunny career, with me happily looking forward to what's in store for me!

By this time, a lot of the attendees had started leaving, and some of the last few were heading for their bags and packing up, so i thought it was a good idea for me to start packing as well.

After a good long rest with Shorky, i changed back into my full wear, grabbed my bags, said my goodbyes to everyone, and headed out the door and back into my car; back into reality.

It was all still a daze, but i kept replaying back the scenes that happened that night over and over again on the drive home.

As always, hope everyone enjoyed the writing!

It just seems to get longer everytime, damn 😂