It was inevitable. No matter how thoroughly I tamed you the first time, it was just a matter of time before you started acting up again.
I'm at a bar down the street, pounding straight whiskey at eleven in the morning on a Sunday. And you're at home, in our bed. Today you'll probably get up around 1PM and shower, get dressed in a tiny bikini and head off to a hangover brunch by the pool with your stupid, slutty girlfriends.
I don't know what kind of dudes show up to those little gatherings, nor do I want to know. I am very aware that guys pretty much wait all week to head over there. I'm sure they're all ex-fratboy types, the truest type of assholes. And I'm sure they pound beer or vodka and Red Bull, making them hornier as the afternoon unravels.
Juiced-up UFC wannabes, staring at your huge tits as you sunbathe and get tipsy on mimosas.
It makes me so fucking pissed off, but I keep it to myself. I know the rules to this stupid game.
But Sunday is when I'm supposed to have you all to myself. Couple time. Quality time. Isn't that what girls always say they want?
I order another whiskey, surprised that the first one has hardly gotten to me. I'm feeling pretty worked up, so I dare myself to pound this next drink down. I do. Easily.
My brain spins a little bit now...
I showed you the demon, didn't I? Maybe it was always there, but you brought it out in me.
Symbolically, I left my "Dom" items that I ordered in your closet and not mine. The ball gag, all those restraints of varying sizes and materials, the blindfolds, the paddles and even a whip, something called a "spreader bar" which I've not even educated myself on just yet, the buttplugs...
They're all up there, next to your ridiculously large collection of shoes. Waiting to be used, yet they never have.
They scare me, probably more than they should scare you. As hard as I've gotten thinking about them, I've left each one untouched.
Hoping. Hoping you'd help me keep the demon restrained. Because surely you must know how crazy things will get if that demon gets out, if you allow him to come play with you.
For a while, you were good. Very, very good. Sweeter to me than I could have hoped for, kissing me in the morning before I headed to the shower. Kissing me again at night when I was done in my studio.
Cooking dinner for us. Not going out without at least telling me first. Dressing less slutty on those weekend nights when I couldn't go out to the clubs and parties with you.
Coming home to me much, much earlier and tenderly cuddling up to me in bed when you did.
Sucking and fucking me regularly again, and I'd love every second of it of course. I'd get a little rough, but not very and not often. Even when I wanted to VERY badly, I held back. I pushed the demon down, kept its claws retracted.
Against my better judgment, I didn't throw your damn toys away. And even though you knew that you weren't to play with them without my presence and without my permission, I admit that I wasn't very strong in my enforcement of the rule.
Now you're partying too much, often without me. And taking those fucking pills again that I don't want you to take.
There's only one thing worse than the pills... I'm afraid you're fucking around on me. Even if it isn't a full-on affair, you're probably thinking about it. I have a feeling that if I went through your phone, I wouldn't be too happy with what I saw.
It shouldn't be this hard. I'm a man in love, sure, and therefore lost in helplessness much of the time. But I'm also me, right? There's plenty of things about me, on paper, that should ensure that a girl won't do these things to me. I'm tall, I'm handsome, I have money, I have a big dick. But you don't care, do you?
You. Drive. Me. Insane.
When I get home, I'm a little bit more than tipsy. Not quite drunk, but definitely not sober either.
I can smell you in the entryway. Either you have just gotten home or you just left. Standing here, I am aware of each milliliter of my blood; it's as if I can feel all of it pumping in and out of my heart with a frantic ache.
My head isn't spinning like it should be, considering how much I have had to drink. My thoughts are just blurred a little. Slowed. Dreamy.
I walk to the winding spiral staircase, and as I climb the steps I smell you stronger and deeper in the air.
Then I hear you. You're talking to someone on the phone. Giggling.
Following the sound of your voice, I pass our bedroom and keep walking to the little den that's nestled in the upstairs corner of the loft. There I find that you're hanging upside down off the love seat, high heels up in the air, cell phone in hand. The odd ways you position that body of yours never cease to amaze me. You look like a carefree, dumb little sixteen year old.
Engulfed in your conversation, you don't notice my footsteps on the wood floors. But I use this to my advantage. I lean against the wall and just watch you, smiling.
You're talking to a friend back home in Phoenix, that much I decipher quickly. The dress you're wearing clings tightly to your body; gravity causes the hem to fall just above your inner thighs.
Your cleavage is obvious, your tits spill upwards. Your hair cascades around your face too, creating a platinum medusa look.
How long has it been since I fucked you? Probably only a week or so, but it feels like so much longer. Lately I've been going through the motions in bed with you, just trying to satisfy the incessant craving without letting the demon off the leash.
Something knocks my brain hard as I stand here watching you. A notion, a realization, whatever the hell you want to call it:
You. Need. The. Demon.
I'm sure that I have known this for the past seven months, probably even before that. At this moment though it is so fully clear to me.
You need me to be that way with you. You need me to dominate you. Need me to take you, to discipline you, to claim you roughly and remind you that you are mine. You're the kind of girl that needs structure and rules, if only to have your fun shattering them and be punished for it later to learn a lesson.
I'd never seen such adoration in your eyes as I did that night and the morning after. I'd never felt and seen you cum that hard. You haven't looked at me quite that way since, haven't gotten off like that since either, so why the fuck have I been ignoring the truth?
It does scare me, my own "Dom" potential. I'm so new to all this, I admit it. I'm a rookie. But I like it. A LOT.
But I must maintain full control at all times. And I don't know if I'm capable of that, but here goes nothing.
And GOD, it turns me on. My cock throbs just allowing my mind to think about it, the things I want to do to you. Taking back all the control that you take from me emotionally, and then some. There's at least one place where I can run the show, right? You need to be shown that again.
The paddling, the gagging, the choking. Restraining you roughly, torturous teasing, making you beg me with tears in your eyes for an orgasm.
FUCK.
I push myself off the wall and take quick, long steps towards the love seat. The second you see me hovering above you, I kneel down on the floor and grab your hair and face. Upside down, I kiss you like I haven't seen you in months. You squeal a little bit with surprise into my mouth.
You pull away and say into the phone: "Sorry. Tyler's here and he's being a weirdo."
"Hang up the phone," I tell you. Softly but with my voice flat and strong. This is not a question or a request. This is an order, and it's up to you to understand that and obey.
Maybe a decent re-start for a newbie Dom. That's all I can hope for at this point.
"What? Why?" you ask, smiling dismissively at me before going back into your conversation.
I move my hand to your hair, picking a large section of it from off the wood floor. I pull on it, just a bit.
"Ow! Tyler what the fuck? I'll be off the phone in a second!"
My hand turns to a fist and I pull much, much tighter. You gasp with pain and wince as I move my lips down to one of your ears and harshly, quietly tell you "Hang up your fucking phone right now, slut, or I'm going to spend all night wrecking you."