This story take place in an all-girls' finishing school for young women over the age of 18, under the watchful eye of a disciplinarian Headmaster, somewhere in England. All the characters are fictitious; any resemblance to any real person is entirely coincidental.
*****
The corridor is cold and draughty as we stand there, silently, hands on our heads, legs shoulder-width apart, waiting for the Headmaster. At least Matilda still has her nightie on, I think, spitefully. As soon as his study door opens he'll see my goosebumped skin, my nipples standing out like bullets, my nakedness exposed for his cold, searching eyes to devour. It's all her fault. Bloody Matilda. It's her fault we're standing here, waiting for Miss Dodds to explain just how much we need punishing. Just how much we deserve. Just why she's had to fetch him away from his quiet evening by the fire to deal with us.
Oh, he's going to be really furious.
I risk a glance to my right, but Matilda is looking straight ahead. Her stare is fixed, her breathing steady, but I can tell she's seething too. Her perfect record, ruined. At least it will give me some satisfaction to see - and hear - her get her first punishment. Sadly, I can't say the same for myself. I've been here far too often.
And then I remember what he said the last time, when I'd been caught giggling at prayers in Chapel. When he put me over his knee, right there in the nave, my pinafore up around my armpits and my knickers round my ankles, and spanked me with a hymn book. Each word punctuated by blow of the hard leather-bound volume on my tender bum:
"If...[SMACK]...I...[SMACK]...ever...[SMACK]...have...[SMACK]...to...[SMACK]...punish... [SMACK]...you...[SMACK]...again...[SMACK]...you'll...[SMACK]...NEVER...[SMACK]... forget...[SMACK]...it...[SMACK]...as...[SMACK]...long...[SMACK]...as...[SMACK]...you... [SMACK]...live!"
Oh no, this is going to be horrible.
*****
I don't mean to be bad. It's just that, sometimes, I get carried away. Like tonight. We were talking about the visiting speaker we'd had that evening, to give us our enrichment lecture. We often have visiting speakers to our college for young ladies, to help broaden our horizons and help us understand the wider world. Mr Roberts was a very clever man, a graduate from Oxford University, who edited a prestigious History publication. He gave us a lecture about working in publishing, the importance of studying hard, and how important it was for each of us to make sure we were being a "good girl" in college. There was something about the way he said "good girl" that made several of us shift in our seats. An arch of his eyebrow, the way he scanned the room, something inside him that sent a little frisson through the room. More than one of us had a little flutter inside us at the thought of this older man calling us his good girl, and I certainly felt it too when his eyes met mine.
He held my gaze, just a moment longer than was comfortable, and then, just for a moment before he looked away, he licked his lips. I know he was probably just moistening them so he could speak more clearly - he had been going for half an hour already - but in that moment I felt myself melt inside. I imagined that tongue moistening my lips...and not just in a French kiss. Oh, I feel so dirty admitting it! But I imagined his tongue pushing apart the lips of my most private place, flicking up over my special little button and giving me all those feelings that I'm told are so wrong but which feel so right! Oh, for an older, experienced man like him to sweep me up in his arms and do all the things that men do to girls, to me...oh, what I wouldn't give for him to teach me those things! To see his...his...his cock. His penis. His dick. Oh...to touch it. To feel it. To taste it...
As you can imagine, I didn't really take in much of the rest of the lecture. And there was only one topic of conversation when we were back in the dorm before lights out - who would be able to get work experience at the prestigious History journal so we could be Mr Roberts' personal assistant! We were giggling and talking about how we'd wear short skirts and unbutton our blouses so when we bent over he'd get an eyeful...and how he'd put his hand on the back of our legs and guide it upwards...and how he'd bend us over his desk to give us a good seeing to...lots of the girls were laughing, but I kept picturing his tongue moving over his lips, his hands and fingers flexing, and the shape of his hips. And I got that familiar tingle deep inside. We were all tucked up in bed, and my hand crept down under the covers, finding its way between my legs. Oh...I was already soaked! Without even really thinking about it, my fingers crept inside and I began to curl them up and down, that familiar motion building my excitement, my other hand joining in to move in circles over my little button, my eyes closing, thinking about him, his experience, his strength, his power, how he would just take me, use me, hurt me...
"Lucy? Are you WANKING?"
I froze. Matilda's voice was like a siren blaring through the dormitory. My eyes snapped open and I saw the other girls staring, hands clapped over their mouths. I saw Matilda, pointing at me...but looking at the doorway. I followed her gaze and there, framed in the corridor light, was our formidable Housemistress, Miss Dodds. White haired, ancient, steely-eyed and constantly angry, she used the crucifix she always wore like a talisman to root out immoral behaviour wherever it lurked. And now, staring at me, she had found it. Again.
In five short strides she was across the dormitory and ripped my coverlet back, revealing the sordid truth: my right hand with two fingers buried up to the knuckles in my sopping wet slit, my left hand frozen on my engorged button, the slick sheen of sticky juices clearly visible on my hands and my thighs. She may as well have been Medusa, for I was frozen like a statue, unable to move, blood pounding in my ears, a flush of mortification blooming up my neck and into my cheeks, the horror of my predicament exposed for all to see.
"Stand," she commanded. Like a marionette on strings, I obeyed. "Remove your nightgown," she hissed, her words forcing their way out through teeth gritted so hard they could have been used on icy roads. I obeyed, shivering naked under the gaze of my dorm mates. I dared not look up to see their looks of horror, of disappointment, of amusement, of disgust. I was so ashamed. But her next words made it even worse: "hands on your head. You dirty girl, you clearly can't be trusted to keep them off yourself, so they'll stay there until the Headmaster has seen you himself. Now go and stand in the corridor." And off I padded, my bare feet on the cold tile, naked and embarrassed beyond words, my hands clasped in my tousled red hair.
"And as for you, Matilda, your language is simply unacceptable. You are young ladies, not dockers! You will join Lucy in receiving the Headmaster's punishment."
I heard her start to protest, beginning to argue: "But Miss Dodds, she was..." before she sputtered into silence. I could have told her that arguing only made it worse, but Miss goody-two-shoes Matilda had never been in trouble before, never even had a late mark I'll bet. And now, thanks to her shouting the odds, I'm for it, so I'm secretly glad that she'll be getting a taste of what it feels like to be me. She deserves it, the nosy little...no, I'd better not. Even here.
*****
And so, we ended up here. Standing outside the Headmaster's office, awaiting his sentence. Miss Dodds had to go and fetch him from his quarters, where he was entertaining our guest lecturer. He was going to be fuming to have his evening spoiled! I imagined his face, darkening with fury as Miss Dodds explained what had happened. And when he heard it's me...oh my goodness. A little shudder ran through me.
And then, another thought occurred to me. Oh no...surely Miss Dodds wouldn't have told the whole story in front of his guest? In front of that intelligent, powerful man with the strong hands and the captivating eyes? Surely not. Surely she would have waited before telling him she'd found one of the senior girls...pleasuring herself...in a shared dormitory. What would he think? No. No. She wouldn't have. It would be too embarrassing.