I had made up my mind not to see Derek again. My body fought my mind and I slept in his shirt for far too many nights in a row. I rubbed my clit imagining him cuffing me to his bed, handling me roughly and entering me so hard my pussy ached. I even tried spanking myself once but it didn't feel the same. I dreamed of his kiss and his voice saying my name. I dreamed of his disappointed face when I left.
After a ragged week of stumbling to my legal secretary job with a coffee in hand and almost falling asleep at the computer, I was excited for a relaxed night with my best friend. Michele and I planned to cheer each other up after my recent break-up and Michele's divorce after a two year marriage to an emotionally abusive man. My ex had cheated on me. Michele's had demanded she cut off all ties to her friends and family and leave her successful job to be his wife. We were going to celebrate our disastrous judgment with dinner and a movie.
When Michele decided we should meet work friends at a bar downtown instead, I cringed in trepidation but had no argument for why I shouldn't go without confessing my meeting Derek. I needed to work through my feelings about him before I could share that particular story. I put on my most no-nonsense outfit, a black t- shirt that said "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," and black pants. My curly hair was pulled up in a ponytail and I wore gold hoops and red heels as my only adornment.
"What are you wearing?" Michele said in disbelief when I opened the door. We planned to taxi from my place since I lived the closest. Despite her petite blonde stature, she had the command of a general and liked to take control.
She whipped off my shirt without a by your leave, grabbed a gold sparkly tank top from my closet, and yanked it over my head.
"Here's some lipstick," she said and kissed me full on the mouth. She got my purse, and pulled me out the door. The summer night was pleasant and I could survive without a jacket.
I had one bar to avoid, I reminded myself. We stopped at the first bar, a western themed dance club with a bucking bull that Michele hopped on. She told me she was feeling reckless tonight. Her tight body flew up and down, pert breasts almost falling out of her top and skirt rucking up dangerously high. Men catcalled and women screamed encouragement. We danced and drank in the dim light, music bouncing around the walls. I smelled perfume, sweat and popcorn.
When we left the bar, my ears were ringing and I felt dizzy after my Long Island iced tea. I blamed the general confusion for not noticing that the next bar we entered was where I met Derek last weekend.
This bar was far quieter, mainly people watching sports, drinking beer and playing pool. We met Michele's friends at a table where we talked about ordering hot wings. I was still reeling from the memory of being in this place. I hoped he was here and I dreaded it.
When I saw him at the pool table with a statuesque blonde woman closer to his age, the ugly feeling of betrayal and anger was so strong, I ceased breathing. I reoriented myself and realized I had no business being jealous of someone I barely knew even if he was the most amazing sexual experience of my twenty-four years. In his defense I was the one who had prevented it from becoming anything more. I plopped down in the booth, and decided to ignore him and get completely wasted. I didn't want to analyze my actions too closely.
After hot wings, beers and margaritas, where the rule about liquor before beer got confusing, a cute man in a baseball cap came to our table and pointed to his group of friends at the bar. I gamely got up to join Michelle and his group. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Derek assist his partner with a pool shot. His dark hair contrasted to her light hair as they bent close together. My insides roiled in jealousy.
I spoke with a man named Dave who touched my hip in the guise of leading me to a bar stool. He couldn't keep his eyes off my large breasts in the tight gold top and I regretted leaving my t-shirt at home. His breath was close to my face and smelled like onion rings. I kept pulling away, but Dave was determined even so far as to stand into me when I tried to get a little distance. Glancing at the pool corner, I saw Derek was gripping his pool cue and staring at Dave's hand on my lower back. Our eyes met in an electric moment and Derek turned away.
"I see a friend," I murmured and made my escape. This is ridiculous tiptoeing around him, I thought determined to be a grown up, albeit a very drunk one.
When I approached the table, he was bent over aiming his cue and I admired his lean back. I remembered feeling his taught muscles in my hands after he had uncuffed me. Memories of cuffing led to memories of his hard body thrusting inside mine and I was almost panting while he made his shot and bent back up.
The blonde woman gave a husky laugh. I paused. Maybe he was on a date and wouldn't appreciate being interrupted. This could be his girlfriend I thought in horror. My courage failed and I turned away.
"Kayla," he said and I turned back around. The gruff tone in his low voice was full of command and like a spell, I couldn't help moving towards him. His deep blue eyes drew me in. They had a sardonic glint in them and he wore a half smile like a weapon.
"Hi," I said, feeling awkward and lame.
"Hi," he echoed and moved closer to me. "I'm glad to see you," he said.
"Hi," Came a third voice. A hand extended between us "I'm Sarah," said the blonde woman.
"I'm sorry, I'm interrupting you," I said as I shook her hand and made to back away but Sarah pulled me closer by my hand.
"How do you know each other?" Sarah asked and I shook my head at a loss for words. Derek replied.
"We met at this bar last weekend."
Sarah's face lit up with a grin. "She must be the reason for your insistence on coming here and staying all night for two nights in a row." Derek's face turned a little red and I smiled.
"Now that you're here," Sarah stage whispered to me, "Is that hot little blonde who came with you gay or open to some exploration with an older woman?" I burst out laughing with relief.
"I'll introduce you and you can ask her yourself," I responded with glee. Michele had never been with a woman to my knowledge but after her bad relationship, maybe it would be a good change of pace.
We walked towards the bar and too late I remembered Dave.
"Kayla!" He swaggered forward eager to push up against me but Derek was suddenly between us.
"That's far enough," he said.
The right hook Dave dished out took us all by surprise but Derek blocked it then pushed me away. Derek aligned the side of his hip to Dave's hip and holding him in a bear hug, threw him to the floor. Derek landed on top, his arm locked around Dave's neck. Dave lay stunned, his flushed red face registered shock and he struggled like a turtle on its shell.
Michele caught me around the waist.
