I am standing there naked and trembling and broken and wretched. My buttocks are tender and torn and burning and beaten.
Facing me is her. Her tanned and toned arms on her hips. Black sleeveless top. Tight jeans. Slim. Cruel blue-green eyes. Blonde. Beautiful.
We are in her front room. Snow coloured deep-pile carpet. White walls. Brass fitted wall lamps. Black leather sofa. Heavy green patterned curtains. Lighting just right. Temperature just right. Television situated just right. Everything just so. Controlled. Perfect. Perfect for her.
She looks at me and smiles and then walks over to me. She places her hands each side of my cheeks and gently raises my head. Then she wipes a tear off that has almost reached my chin.
"I enjoyed that,
really
enjoyed that," she says, with a husky almost cockney accent. "You've never had two hundred strokes before. I wondered whether you would pass out at one point. But you did well.
Very
well."
I nod and sniffle. I need her approval. No, I
crave
her approval.
"I can't help the way I am you know. Nature made me that way. I am cruel one minute and kind the next. Jekyll and Hyde. Sweet and sour. I regret nothing in life. Feel no guilt. Every decision I make is for me, and I seldom get it wrong. I love myself. Love my body. Love my, so the hypocrites say, depraved and lustful desires. I get what I can out of life, and I intend to live my life to the full for as long as I can."
She takes her hands away and adds: "I couldn't resist the video to 'entertain' you whilst I caned you. Nice little touch, wasn't it? The thing is I knew you had fallen in love with me and had maybe entertained the notion of me being totally 'exclusive' to you. You probably thought that I would fall in love with you in return. But that ain't going to happen. Not now. Not ever. Not with
any
man..."
I cast my mind back about thirty minutes. I am naked and scared and shaking, and strapped firmly to the caning bench, the caning bench she had made me pay for. I had been waiting for the first stroke of the cane to land agonisingly across my bare and vulnerable buttocks. But there had been a pause and then she had brought a kitchen chair into the room and placed it in front of me. Less than a minute later she had returned with her laptop and plonked it on the seat of the chair. I had watched her, intrigued, open the lid and select a file prior to clicking it. She had then walked behind me to pick up the long rattan cane she used to punish me with. As she did the video began to play. At this point I discerned a 'whoosh' and a split second later the excruciating pain of the stroke seared across my buttocks. As the agony began to wane slightly, I saw on the screen a view of her bed -- the camcorder obviously placed at the foot of the bed. Just at the edge of the screen I could see her taking all her clothes off. There were voices, hers and a man. She then administered the second stroke and when I had opened my eyes which were already watering, she and the man were both nude and on the bed. Gina had then whispered in my ear, "You're just going to
love
seeing this." The third stroke had followed. And whilst I had been caned, I had watched her -- tanned all over, small but shapely breasts and shaved cunt - and the guy - dark and swarthy and ruggedly handsome with a big cock - caress each other's naked bodies. He had snogged her and grabbed her crotch, she had taken his cock in her mouth and stroked the shaft. He had then gone down on her and licked her cunt and just before she came, her eyes glazed, she had smiled into the camera -smiled for
me
. She had screamed with the pleasure of the orgasm and thrown back her head. They had both laughed together for a moment, as though sharing some private joke, before she had then turned over and he had shagged her up the arse as his guttural grunting became a crescendo prior to the inevitable conclusion. And I had felt like shit, jealous and hurt and betrayed. And she had carried on beating me, beating me to a pulp. And when the film had finished, she had started it again. And I had wept...
Back in the lounge I watch Gina smile and then let out a small chuckle. I can see that hurting me both physically and emotionally gives her great pleasure.
"I'm going to make you a nice cup of tea in a minute, but first I want to tell you something else."
I nod automatically. Numb. Emotions scrambled. Blitzed.
